my views, as far as I can ascertain them, were these three: a desire of a less laborious, and more comfortable way of procuring a maintenance, than otherwise I had the prospect of the expectation of more leisure to employ in reading, of which I was inordinately fond:-and a proud conceit of my abilities, with a vain-glorious imagination, that I should some time distinguish and advance myself in the literary world. These were my ruling motives in taking this bold step: motives as opposite to those which should influence men to enter on the sacred office, as pride is opposite to humility, ambition to contentment in a low estate, and a willingness to be the least of all, and the servant of all; as opposite as love of self, of the world, of filthy lucre, and slothful ease, is to the love of God, of souls, and of the laborious work of the ministry. To me therefore be the shame of this heinous sin, and to God be all the glory of over-ruling it for good, I trust, both to unworthy me, and to his dear people, the church which he hath purchased with his own blood!"*

Having thus brought down the history of my father's life to the period of his ordination, without suppressing one material word which he has written upon the subject, it appears to me that there are two points which may need some apology; meaning by that term, however, rather defence than excuse.

First, I know not whether some readers may think, that the particulars relative to his admission into holy orders are detailed with an unnecessary minuteness. My answer to such an objection must be, that I cannot allow the introduction into the church of the subject of these memoirs to be put on the same footing with every event of the like nature. In its consequences it has proved to thousands, and I doubt not will prove to thousands more, of the highest importance. In its circumstances, therefore, which were not common ones, and in themselves involve a remarkable display of character, it cannot fail to be interesting to all, who take pleasure in tracing the means by which providence accomplishes its designs, often rendering the evil passions, or evil conduct of man subservient to the display of the goodness of God.

See further my father's Practical Observations on the case of "Korah and his company," Numbers xvi.

The other point is one which it is of much greater importance to place in a just light: I mean the severe judgment, as many will think it, which my father passes upon himself and his own conduct. This extends itself to every part of his life: to his early days at school; to his apprenticeship; to his conduct while subsequently resident with his father; and to no period, nor to any event, more remarkably than to his taking upon himself the sacred office of the ministry. We read here nothing of the levities or the indiscretions of youth, where real immoralities are intended; nothing of simple improprieties, and the want of greater consideration and more serious thought. The offences of the school-boy are sins against God, undutifulness to a parent, even though the conduct of that parent be marked by some degree of harshness, is regarded as a crime: and, above all, tampering with solemn subscriptions, and intruding into the sacred office from ambitious, self-indulgent, and other unhallowed motives, is felt as an impiety, which no words are strong enough to describe. Yet, after all, some may be ready to ask, and not without a degree of justice, What was there, at least if one or two exceptions be made, worse than is found in thousands, who are never troubled with any such apprehensions of the enormity of their conduct? Now I feel that I proceed entirely upon principles which he, whose case gives occasion to the inquiry, would sanction, and, what is still more important, upon the principles of Scripture itself, when I return the following answer to this question. Every thing depends upon the standard by which we judge. If the current opinions of mankind be our standard, then it will be easy for us to "make light of sin,"—our own sins, and those of others. But if, with the holy character before us-for such he had become before he wrote either of his narratives,-we "enter into the sanctuary of God," and judge by the standard of his holy law, -especially as it is explained by our blessed Savior in his sermon on the mount,-then the purest and most blameless among us will find reason to cry, even with anguish of spirit, "God be merciful to me a sinner!" If we there obtain some glimpses of the majesty and glory of the "holy, holy, holy, Lord God almighty," then, far from shining in our own eyes, or comparing ourselves,to our own advantage, with our fellow sinners, we shall be prepared, with Job, and David, and Isaiah, and Daniel, and St. Peter, and St. Paul,* Job xlii. Psal. xxv, li. Isa. vi. Luke v, 8. 1 Tim. i, 12-16.

and Augustine,* and a thousand others who have obtained "a good report" in the annals of the church, to exclaim, "I abhor myself and repent in dust and ashes.—Wo is me, I am undone!--Remember not against me the sins and offences of my youth!"--And this is the true explanation of the judgment which my father passes upon his own character and conduct.

And, with respect to the particular part of the above narrative, which relates to the views and motives for entering into holy orders, let me join its author in earnestly soliciting a most serious attention to it, from all those of the clergy whose eye it may meet, and who may never yet have taken such solemn views, as they will think them, of their own office, and of the temper with which it should be undertaken. Many persons of this class are known to have been brought to a new, and what I must be allowed to call, a better sense of the subject, by what my father has already laid before the public concerning his own case: and my prayer is, that that case, when thus anew, and more fully presented, may be attended with like effects to many

more.

The reasons assigned in the former of these two reflections induce me not to omit an incident, yet more minute, but still having its place to fill in bringing about the event under consideration. My father has recorded it as follows.

"One circumstance, very trivial in itself, was so important in its consequences, that I am not willing to pass it over. At the sheep-shearing which followed my disgraceful return from Alford, in 1762, a small ewe-lamb, marked with a black spot on the side, in rather a peculiar manner, attracted my notice: and my father, being probably in Ligh good humor on the occasion, gave it me; and, though kept among his sheep, it was branded as mine. Though I was always nearly moneyless, and never possessed a guinea in my life, till I was above twenty years old, I never yielded to the temptation of selling any of the lambs which this ewe brought me: so that by management, in exchanging male lambs for young ewes, notwithstanding the loss of nine of my little flock, in one year, by the rot, I possessed sixtyeight sheep, besides lambs, when I attempted to obtain orders. These, after many objections, my father purchased

See the affecting and edifying abstract of his Confessions in Milner's Church History, vol. ii.-[A new edition of this very valuable work is just published by Samuel T. Armstrong.]-And on the whole subject, see my father's Discourse on Repentance.

for 681. and this constituted the whole of my fortune. I had not a friend in the world who offered to advance me five pounds in my exigency; and I verily believe, that, if the success or failure of my application had depended upon it, no one would have been found able and willing to advance money sufficient for my expenses. When my father had granted his consent, I had no expectation, and perhaps, after all the vexation which my ill-behavior had caused him, I had no fair reason to expect, that he would give any thing further. But with this 681. I bought needful books; boarded myself for some time at Boston; procured suitable clothes; paid all travelling expenses, and those attending my ordination; and entered on my curacies possessed of twenty guineas,—a sum which, at that time, was indeed to me considerable.—On such trivial incidents do the most important events depend; without this lamb, and the sheep which in this way I acquired, as far as I can see, my whole plan of entering into holy orders must have failed."

From a series of my father's letters to two of his sisters, extending from within one month after his quitting Braytoft, in April, 1772, till near the close of his life, for which I am indebted to my esteemed relative, the Rev. Thomas Webster, I am happy here to confirm, what I before took occasion to infer, the speedy revival of sentiments of filial duty in his breast, whatever irritation he might at the time have felt and expressed. Not a sentence of a disrespectful kind towards his father occurs in these free and confidential communications; but they contain many which express great respect and regard. May 17, 1772, he says, "In my actions to my father, I never offended; in my words, I have too often: but my chief desire is to avoid that for the future."-September 18, 1773: "Surely nothing can afford more satisfaction to the considerate breast, than to comfort the heart of an aged parent." This indeed is spoken with especial reference to his mother.--January 5, 1774; of his father and mother: "May all the blessings we have each received from them (perhaps not the most inconsiderable when the most unpalatable,) be tenfold repaid them, here or hereafter, by the God of mercies!"--July 20, 1774: "To give pain or uneasiness to others I hardly bear; but to give pain premeditatedly to a parent, even by innocent conduct, wounds my sensibility, and staggers my resolution, even where I think my duty is at stake."--What a tender concern he felt for his father, when he had himself become

more decidedly religious, we may have future opportunities of discerning.

Indeed justice requires the remark, that this whole series of letters, from the very first, conveys a more favorable impression, than his own report would have led us to expect, of his social character. The constant, copious, and confidential correspondence kept up with his sisters would, of itself, be a very favorable indication upon this subject. But, in addition to this, the letters throughout breathe strong affection to all his family, and shew him to have taken a lively interest in their concerns; and to have been zealous to serve them, as well as qualified to do so by great acuteness and sound sense.

CHAPTER III.

FROM HIS ORDINATION TO HIS MARRIAGE.

We now proceed to contemplate the subject of our me moirs in his new and higher character of a minister of the established church.

"After the ordination, having officiated on two Sundays at Martin, in almost an empty church, (for service was very seldom performed there,) I removed to Stoke, Goldington, and entered on my new curacies; boarding with a parishioner for twenty guineas a year.

"My regular services were at Stoke and Weston Underwood: but my rector was sub-dean of Lincoln; and, when he went thither into residence, he procured other supplies for Weston, and I officiated at Gayhurst, where George Wrighte, Esq. had a seat. This soon brought me acquainted with the family. Mr. W. was a descendant of Sir Nathan Wrighte, Lord Keeper in the reign of Queen Anne: and Mrs. W. was the only daughter of Sir Joseph Jekyll, Master of the Rolls, by Lady Anne, daughter of the Earl of Halifax. The were wealthy and liberal, and lived in a most hospitable manner. They had been married several years, but had only one son, quite a child, who was considered as heir to large estates possessed by relatives, who had no children.

"Having several times dined at the house on Sundays, after my second service, I was repeatedly invited to dine