thus "have peace," though he should now gratify his passions, `and walk in the imagination of his own heart?* Let him tremble to indulge the forlorn and presumptuous hope. Let him remember, that, while the few who are reclaimed from youthful depravity to piety, happiness, and usefulness, are recorded, the great multitude who sink into ruin, from which there is no return, pass unnoticed. Their's is the ordinary, the natural course. They form the rule, the others the exception.-Manasseh, the wicked son of Hezekiah, was indeed borne with during a reign of fifty-five years, and, probably in the latter part of it, brought to repentance and to God: but his son Amon, perhaps presuming on his father's example, was cut off at the end of two years, and, for aught that appears, died in his sins.

The account given of the period referred to, in the opening of the "Force of Truth," may be properly introduced in this place. It is as follows: "Though I was not educated in what is commonly considered as ignorance of God and religion, yet, till the sixteenth year of my age, I do not remember that I ever was under any serious conviction of being a sinner, in danger of wrath, or in need of mercy; nor did I ever during this part of my life, that I recollect, offer one hearty prayer to God in secret. Being alienated from God through the ignorance that was in me, I lived without him in the world; and as utterly neglected to pay him any voluntary service, as if I had been an atheist in principle.

"But about my sixteenth year I began to see that I was a sinner. I was indeed a leper in every part, there being 'no health in me:' but, out of many external indications of inward depravity, conscience discovered and reproached me with one especially; and I was, for the first time, disquieted with apprehensions of the wrath of an offended God. My attendance at the Lord's table was expected about the same time; and, though I was very ignorant of the meaning and end of that sacred ordinance, yet this circumstance, uniting with the accusations of my conscience, brought an awe upon my spirits, and interrupted my beforeundisturbed course of sin.

"Being, however, an utter stranger to the depravity and helplessness of fallen nature, I had no doubt that I could amend my life whenever I pleased. Previously therefore to communicating, I set about an unwilling reformation;

*See Deut. xxix, 18-21.

and, procuring a form of prayer, I attempted to pay my secret addresses to the Majesty of heaven. Having in this manner silenced my conscience, I partook of the ordinance. I held my resolutions also, and continued my devotions, such as they were, for a short time: but they were a weariness and a task to me; and, temptations soon returning, I relapsed; so that my prayer-book was thrown aside, and no more thought of, till my conscience was alarmed by the next warning given for the celebration of the Lord's supper. Then the same ground was gone over again, and with the same issue. My goodness was like the morning due, that passeth away: and, loving sin, and disrelishing religious duties as much as ever, I returned, as the sow that is washed to her wallowing in the mire.

"With little variation, this was my course of life for nine years: but in that time I had such experience of my own weakness, and of the superior force of temptation, that I secretly concluded reformation in my case to be impracticable. Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard its spots? I was experimentally convinced that I was equally unable, with the feeble barrier of resolutions and endeavors, to stem the torrent of my impetuous inclinations, when swelled by welcome, suitable, and powerful temptations. And, being ignorant that God had reserved this to himself as his own work; and had engaged to do it for the poor sinner, who, feeling his own insufficiency, is heartily desirous to have it done by him; I stifled my convictions as well as I could, and put off my repentance to a more con venient season." 99

We now return to the narrative.

"The other benefit derived from my short space of apprenticeship was this: I was dismissed for gross misconduct, before the whole premium agreed on had been paid: my father resolutely refused to pay the remainder; and my master as decidedly refused to give up my indentures till it was paid: and no compromise was attempted. The claim of my master was, I apprehend, legal: but his retaining my indentures, after I was finally dismissed, was an illegal method of enforcing it, for which, in the opinion of rather high authority, ample damages might have been recovered at the close of the term. The consequence was, that, being nominally this person's apprentice, I could not be placed out with another: and thus I was finally excluded from that profession for which I was designed, and in which probably

I should have succeeded as to this world; but, in that case, the whole history of my life would have been changed."

My father here subjoins in a note: "My master lived till after I had published the 'Force of Truth,' and, so far from desiring damages from him, I wished and purposed to express my gratitude to him, as the instrument of God to me for good, by sending him a book or two, accompanied by a letter: but I procrastinated till it was too late, which I have ever since regretted. Second thoughts, in such cases, are seldom best."

It may be added, that he feelingly regretted this omission, even on his dying bed.-"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might"-promptly, as well as decidedly.

But while my father properly acknowledges, with gratitude, the good of which providence made these events the occasion to him, it may still fairly be remarked, that the measure he met with from man appears to have been hard. To be thus summarily dismissed from his apprenticeship at the end of two months, on the first discovery, as it appears, of an offence, even though a high one, and that by a man who set him the example of immorality in his own conduct, and deprived him of the opportunity of receiving religious instruction and good impressions, on the sabbath, was certainly severe treatment. His future apparent interests in life were also sacrificed, or unwarrantably disregarded, amid the contentions of two high-spirited men. And the degradation and hardships, to which, as it will be seen, he was subjected through many succeeding years, appear to have been dictated rather by the mortified pride of his family, than by any just principle. Certainly, though' providence turned it all for good, and rendered it subservient to the accomplishment of great events, yet the conduct of his father cannot be recommended as a model for imitation under similar circumstances. I would further, however, remark, that, under the whole even of this severe discipline, he was to be congratulated, or even envied, in comparison with such young persons as, in cases of similar misconduct, either escape detection, or are, by the false tenderness of friends, screened from all punishment.

What follows, considered as describing that which probably laid the foundation of diseases under which he suffered to his dying day, illustrates the remark, often made, concerning the severity with which a righteous God frequently

punishes sin, even where its eternal consequences are mercifully prevented.

"Immediately on my return home, I was set to do, as well as I could, the most laborious and dirty parts of the work be longing to a grazier. On this I entered at the beginning of winter: and, as much of my father's farm consisted of low land, which was often flooded, I was introduced to scenes of hardship, and exposed to many dangers from wet and cold, for which my previous habits had not prepared me. In consequence I was frequently ill, and at length suffered such repeated and obstinate maladies, (especially the ague, and effects following from it,) that my life was more than once despaired of. Yet a kind of indignant, proud self-revenge kept me from complaining of hardship; though of reproach, and even of reproof, I was impatient to the greatest degree of irascibility.

"I had now many serious thoughts of God, and of eternity, and every illness produced a sort of paroxysm of reli gion; in which, having prayed for pardon in an earnest, but ignorant manner, I felt satisfied that I should be happy if I died; though, as soon as I was restored to health, all my religion vanished as the morning cloud!"

Another paragraph from the 'Force of Truth' may further illustrate what is here briefly stated.-"Being of a reflecting turn, and much alone, aware of the uncertainty of life, I was disquieted with continual apprehensions, that the more convenient season" for repentance, to which I looked forward, "would never arrive; especially as, through an unconfirmed state of health, I had many warnings, and near prospects of death and eternity. For a long time I entertained no doubt that impenitent sinners would be miserable for ever in hell: and, at some seasons, such amazing reflections upon this awful subject forced themselves into my mind, that I was overpowered by them, and my fears became intolerable. At such times my extemporary cries for mercy were so earnest and persevering, that I was scarcely able to give over; though at others, I lived without prayer of any sort. Yet, in my darkest hours, though my conscience was awakened to discover more and more sinfulness, there remained a hope that I should one day repent and turn unto God. If this hope were from myself, it was a horrid presumption; but the event makes me willing to acknowledge a persuasion that it was from the Lord: for, had it not been for this hope, I should probably have given

way to temptations, which frequently assaulted me, to put an end to my own life, in proud discontent with my lot in this world, and in mad despair about another."

CHAPTER II.

FROM HIS APPRENTICESHIP TO HIS ORDINATION.

THE narrative now proceeds: "After a few unsuccessful attempts, my father gave up all thoughts of placing me out in any other way: and for above nine years I was nearly as entire a drudge as any servant or laborer in his employ; and almost as little known beyond the circle of immediate neighbors. My occupation was generally about the cattle, and particularly, in the spring season, it consisted in following the ewes great with young. In this service I learned habits of hardiness in encountering all sorts of weather, (for the worse the weather the more needful was it that I should be with the ewes,) which have since proved useful to me: and, though I was not kept from learning many vices, I was out of the way of acquiring habits of ease and indulgence, as I should otherwise probably have done.

"My situation, however, necessarily led me to associate with persons of the lowest station of life, and wholly destitute of religious principle-in all ranks the grand correc-tive, and in this rank almost the sole restraint upon character and manners. These persons tried to please me with flatteries, and to inflame still more the indignancy of spirit with which I rebelled against the supposed degradation that I suffered. I was induced also, not unfrequently, to accompany them in their low-lived riots; which further embittered the mind of my father respecting me. Yet still I not only had seasons of remorse, but, strange to say, continued to entertain thoughts of the university, and of the clerical profession! These and various ideas and imaginations concerning study, and learning, and even the distinctions of learning, formed no small part of my waking dreams, in the tedious seasons of solitude which I was condemned frequently to pass. Hence, in the winter evenings, when not seduced from home, and at other times, when I had any leisure, I read whatever books I could procure; and, I doubt not, should have made considerable proficiency, but for twe