they made their approaches with great courage and admirable regularity, until within about a hundred feet of the castle a pump opposed a formidable obstacle in their way, and put the whole army to a nonplus. The circumstance was sudden and unlooked for; the commanding officer ran over all the military tactics with which his head was crammed, but none offered any expedient for the present awful emergency. The pump maintained its post, and so did the commander; there was no knowing which was most at a stand. The commanding officer ordered his men to wheel and take it in flank ;—the army accordingly wheeled and came full butt against it in the rear, exactly as they were before :-" wheel to the left!" cried the officer; they did so, and again as before the inveterate pump intercepted their progress. • Right about, face!" cried the officer; the men obeyed, but bungled;—they faced back to back. Upon this the bashaw with two tails, with great coolness, undauntedly ordered his men to push right forward, pell-mell, pump or no pump; they gallantly obeyed; after unheard-of acts of bravery the pump was carried, without the loss of a man, and the army firmly entrenched itself under the very walls of the castle. The bashaw had then a council of war with his officers; the most vigorous measures were

resolved on. An advance guard of musicians were ordered to attack the castle without mercy. Then the whole band opened a most tremendous battery of drums, fifes, tambourines, and trumpets, and kept up a thundering assault, as if the castle, like the walls of Jericho, spoken of in the jewish chronicles, would tumble down at the blowing of rams horns. After some time a parley ensued. The grand bashaw of the city appeared on the battlements of the castle, and as far as I could understand from circumstances, dared the little bashaw of two tails to single combat ;-this thou knowest was in the style of ancient chivalry :- -the little bashaw dismounted with great intrepidity, and ascended the battlements of the castle, where the great bashaw waited to receive him, attended by numerous dignitaries and worthies of his court, one of whom bore the splendid banners of the castle. The battle was carried on entirely by words, according to the universal custom of this country, of which I shall speak to thee more fully hereafter. The grand bashaw made a furious attack in a speech of considerable length; the little bashaw, by no means appalled, retorted with great spirit. The grand bashaw attempted to rip him up with an argument, or stun him with a solid fact; but the little bashaw parried them both with admira

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ble adroitness, and run him clean through and through with a syllogism. The grand bashaw was overthrown, the banners of the castle yielded up to the little bashaw, and the castle surrendered after a vigorous defence of three hours,―during which the besiegers suffered great extremity from muddy streets and a drizzling atmosphere.

On returning to dinner I soon discovered that as usual I had been indulging in a great mistake. The matter was all clearly explained to me by a fellow lodger, who on ordinary occasions moves in the humble character of a tailor, but in the present instance figured in a high military station, denominated corporal. He informed me that what I had mistaken for a castle was the splendid palace of the municipality, and that the supposed attack was nothing more than the delivery of a flag given by the authorities, to the army, for its magnanimous defence of the town for upwards of twenty years past, that is, every since the last war! oh, my friend, surely every thing in this country is on a great scale the conversation insensibly turned upon the military establishment of the nation; and I do assure thee that my friend, the tailor, though being according to a national proverb, but the ninth part of a man, yet acquitted himself on military concerns as ably as the grand.

bashaw of the empire himself. He observed that their rulers had decided that wars were very useless and expensive, and ill befitting an economic, philosophic, nation; they had therefore made up their minds never to have any wars, and consequently there was no need of soldiers or military discipline. · As, however, it was thought highly ornamental to a city to have a number of men drest in fine clothes and feathers, strutting about the streets on a holiday---and as the women and children were particularly fond of such raree shows, it was ordered that the tailors of the different cities throughout the empire should, forthwith, go to work, and cut out and manufacture soldiers as fast as their sheers and needles would permit.

These soldiers have no pecuniary pay; and their only recompense for the immense services which they render their country, in their voluntary parades, is the plunder of smiles, and winks, and nods which they extort from the ladies. As they have no opportunity, like the vagrant arabs, of making inroads on their neighbors; and as it is necessary to keep up their military spirit, the town is therefore now and then, but particularly on two days of the year, given up their ravages. The arrangements are contrived with admirable

address, so that every officer from the bashaw down to the drum-major, the chief of the eunuchs, or musicians, shall have his share of that invaluable booty the admiration of the fair. As to the soldiers, poor animals, they, like the privates in all great armies, have to bear the brunt of danger and fatigue, while their officers receive all the glory and reward. The narrative of a parade day will exemplify this more clearly.

The chief bashaw, in the plenitude of his authority, orders a grand review of the whole army at two o'clock. The bashaw with two tails, that

he may have an opportunity of vaporing about as greatest man on the field, orders the army to assemble at twelve. The kiaya, or colonel, as he is called, that, is commander of one hundred and twenty men, orders his regiment or tribe to collect one mile at least from the place of parade at eleven. Each captain, or fag-rag as we term them, commands his squad to meet at ten at least a half mile from the regimental parade; and to close all, the chief of the eunuchs orders his infernal concert of fifes, trumpets, cymbals and kettle-drums to assemble at ten! from that moment the city receives no quarter. All is noise, hooting, hubbub and combustion. Every window, door, crack, and loop-hole, from the garret to the