How to acquire a knowledge of the world Never shew a contempt of any one Steady command of temper and countenance Judge of other men's feelings by your own Avoid seeing an affront, if possible Dissemble resentment towards enemies Trust not too much to any man's honesty Guard against proffered friendship Disbelieve assertions by oath . CHESTERFIELD'S ADVICE TO HIS SON. ABSENCE OF MIND. An absent man is generally either a very weak or a very affected man; he is, however, a very disagreeable man in company. He is defective in all the common offices of civility; he does not enter into the general conversation, but breaks into it from time to time, with some start of his own, as if he waked from a dream. He seems wrapped up in thought, and possibly does not think at all; he does not know his most intimate acquaintance by sight, or answers them as if he were at cross purposes. He leaves his hat in one room, his cane in another, and would probably leave his shoes in a third, if his buckles, though awry, did not save them. This is a sure indication, either of a mind so weak that it cannot bear above one object at a time, or so affected that it would be supposed to be wholly engrossed by some very great and important object. Sir Isaac Newton, Mr. Locke, and, perhaps, five or six more since the creation, may have had a right to absence, from the intense thought their investigations required; but such liberties cannot be claimed by, nor will be tolerated in, any other persons. No man is, in any degree, fit for either business or conversation, who does not command his attention to the present object, be it what it will. When I see a man absent in mind, I choose to be absent in body; for it is almost impossible for me to stay in the room, as I cannot stand inattention and awkwardness. I would rather be in company with a dead man B 2 than with an absent one; for, if the dead man affords me no pleasure, at least he shews me no contempt; whereas the absent man very plainly, though silently tells me, that he does not think me worth his attention. Besides, an absent man can never make any observations upon the characters, customs, and manners of the company. He may be in the best companies all his lifetime (if they will admit him), and never become the wiser we may as well converse with a deaf man as an absent one. It is, indeed, a practical blunder to address ourselves to a man who, we plainly perceive, neither hears, minds, or understands us. : ATTENTION. A MAN is fit for neither business nor pleasure, who either cannot or does not command and direct his attention to the present object, and, in some degree, banish, for that time, all other subjects from his thoughts. If, at a ball, a supper, or a party of pleasure, a man were to be solving, in his own mind, a problem in Euclid, he would be a very bad companion, and make a poor figure in that company; or if, in studying a problem in his closet, he were to think of a minuet, I am apt to believe that he would make a very poor mathematician. There is time enough for every thing in the course of the day, if you do but one thing at once: but there is not time enough in the year, if you will do two things at a time. It is a sure sign of a little mind, to be doing one thing and thinking of another, or not thinking at all. One should always think of what one is about; when one is learning, one should not think of play; and when one is at play, one should not think of one's learning. This steady and undissipated attention to one object is a sure mark of a superior genius; as hurry, bustle, and agitation are the never-failing symptoms of a weak and frivolous mind. |