Cen. "The young heir grew a fine gen"tleman in this last act."

Exp. "So he did, gossip, and kept the "best company."

Cen." And feasted 'em, and his mis"tress."

Tat." And show'd her to 'em all! was "not jealous!"

Mirth. "But very communicative and li"beral, and began to be magnificent, if the "churl his father would have let him " alone."

Cen." It was spitefully done o' the poet, "to make the chuff take him off in his height, when he was going to do all his brave "deeds!"

Exp. "To found an academy!"
Tat. "Erect a college!"

Exp. "Plant his professors, and water his "lectures!"

Mirth." With wine, gossips, as he "meant to do; and then to defraud his "purposes?"

Exp. "Kill the hopes of so many to"wardly young spirits?"

Tat. As the doctors?"

Cen. "And the courtiers! I protest I was "in love with master Fitton: he did wear "all he had, from the hat-band to the shoe"tie, so politically, and would stoop, and "leer!"

Mirth." And lie so in wait for a piece "of wit, like a mouse-trap!"

Exp. "Indeed, gossip, so would the little "doctor! all his behaviour was mere glister! "O' my conscience, he would make any "party's physick i' the world work with his "discourse."

Mirth. "I wonder they would suffer it, "a foolish old fornicating father, to ravish " away his son's mistress.'

Cen." And all her women at once, as he * did!"

Tat. "I would ha' flown in his gipsy's "face, i' faith."

Mirth." It was a plain piece of political "incest, and worthy to be brought afore "the high commission of wit. Suppose

we were to censure him, you are the "youngest voice, gossip Tattle, begin." Tat. Marry, I would ha' the old co"ney-catcher cozen'd of all he has, i' the

66

young heir's defence, by his learned "counsel, Mr. Picklock!"

Cen. "I would rather the courtier had "found out some trick to beg him for his "estate!"

Exp. "Or the captain had courage enough to beat him!"

Cen. Or the fine Madrigal-man in "rhyme, to have run him out o' the coun "try, like an Irish rat."

Tat. "No, I would have master Pyed"mantle, her grace's herald, to pluck down "his hatchments, reverse his coat-armour, " and nullify him for no gentleman."

Exp. "Nay, then, let master doctor dis"sect him, have him open'd, and his tripes "translated to Lick-finger, to make a pro"bation-dish of."

Cen. Tat. "Agreed! agreed!"

Mirth. "Faith, I would have him flat "disinherited by a decree of court, bound "to make restitution of the lady Pecunia, "and the use of her body, to his son."

Exp." And her train to the gentlemen." Cen. "And both the poet, and himself, to "ask them all forgiveness !"

Tat. "And us too."

"

Cen. "In two large sheets of paperExp. "Or to stand in a skin of parch"ment, (which the court please.)"

Cen. "And those fill'd with news!" Mirth. "And dedicated to the sustaining "of the Staple!"

Exp. "Which their poet hath let fall "most abruptly."

Mirth. "Bankruptly indeed."

Cen. "You say wittily, gossip; and "therefore let a protest go out against "him."

Mirth. "A mournival of protests, or a "gleek, at least."

Exp. "In all our names."
Cen. "For a decay'd wit——”
Exp. "Broken-

Tut. "Non-solvent--"

Cen. "And for ever forfeit--"
Mirth. "To scorn of Mirth!"
Cen." Censure !"

Exp. "Expectation !"

Tat. "Subsign'd, Tattle. Stay, they come again."

Court of Fairy.

common use.

SCENE I.

Penny-boy jun. [To him] Tho. Barber.
After Pick-lock.

He comes out in the patcht cloke his father left him.

P. jun. NAY been made for me,
ΝΑΥ,

"AY, they are fit, as they had

And I am now a thing worth looking at!
The same I said I would be in the morning!
No rogue, at a comitia of the canters,
Did ever there become his parent's robes
Better than I do these. Great fool! and
beggar!

Why do not all that are of those societies
Come forth, and gratulate me one of theirs?
Methinks I should be on every side saluted,
Dauphine of beggars, prince of prodigals!
That have so fall'n under the ears, and eyes,
And tongues of all, the fable of the time,
Matter of scorn, and mark of reprehension !
I now begin to see my vanity

Shine in this glass, reflected by the foil!
Where is my fashioner? my feather-man?
My linener, perfumer, barber? all

That tail of riot follow'd me this morning?
Not one! but a dark solitude about me,
Worthy my cloke and patches; as I had
The epidemical disease upon me:
And I'll sit down with it.

Tho. My master! maker!

How do you? why do you sit thus o' the ground, sir?

Hear

you the news?

P. jun. No, nor I care to hear none. Would I could here sit still, and slip away The other one-and-twenty, to have this Forgotten, and the day raz'd out, expung'd In every ephemerides, or almanack. Or if it must be in, that time and nature Have decreed; still let it be a day Of tickling prodigals about the gills, Deluding gaping heirs, losing their loves, And their discretions, falling from the faLhopes, Of their best friends and parents, their own And entering the society of canters.

vours

Tho. A doleful day it is, and dismal times Are come upon us: I am clear undone. P.jun. How, Thom?

Tho. Why, broke, broke; wretchedly broke!

P. jun. Ha?

He's a hard-hearted gentleman1 I am sorry
To see his rigid resolution!

That any man should so put off affection,
And human nature, to destroy his own,
And triumph in a victory so cruel!
He's fallen out with me, for being yours,
And calls me knave, and traitor to his trust,
Says he will have me thrown over the
bar-

P. jun. Ha' you deserv'd it?

Pic. O, good heaven knows My conscience and the silly latitude of it; A narrow-minded man! my thoughts de dwell

All in a lane, or line indeed: no turning, Nor scarce obliquity in them. I still look

Which he would go from now.

P. jun. Had you a trust then?
Pic. Sir, I had somewhat will keep you
still lord

Of all the estate, if I be honest, as

I hope i shall. My tender scrupulous breast Will not permit me to see the heir defrauded,

And like an alien thrust out of the blood. The laws forbid that I should give consent To such a civil slaughter of a son.

P. jun. Where is the deed? hast thou it with thee?

Pic. No,

It is a thing of greater consequence,
Than to be borne about in a black box,
Like a Low-Country vorloffe or Welsh
brief.

It is at Lick-finger's, under lock and key.
P. jun. O, fetch it hither.
Pic. I have bid him bring it,

That you might see it.

P. jun. Knows he what he brings? Pic. No more than a gardener's ass, what roots he carries.

P. jun. I was a sending my father, like

an ass,

A penitent epistle; but I'm glad
I did not now.

Pic. Hang him, an austere grape, That has no juice, but what is verjuice in him.

P. jun. I'll show you my letter!

[Penny-boy runs out to fetch his letter. Pic. Show me a defiance!

If I can now commit father and son,
And make my profits out of both; com-

mence

To use your credit for moneys.
P. jun. What thou wilt,
So we be safe, and the trust bear it.
Pic. Fear not,

'Tis he must pay arrearages in the end. We'll milk him, and Pecunia, draw their creain down,

Before he get the deed into his hands. My name is Pick-lock, but he'll find me 2 padlock.

P. Ca. You'd cozen both then? your confederate too?

Pic. After a long mature deliberation, You could not think where better how to place it

P. Ca. Than on you, rascal?

Pic. What you please i' your passion; But with your reason, you will come about, And think a faithful and a frugal friend To be preferr'd.

P. Ca. Before a son?

Pic. A prodigal,

A tub without a bottom, as you term'd him For which I might return you a vow or two, And seal it with an oath of thankfulness,

I

not repent it, neither have I cause, yetP. Ca. Forehead of steel, and mouth of brass! hath impudence

Polish'd so gross a lie, and dar'st thou vent it?

Engine, compos'd of all mixt metals! hence,
I will not change a syllable with thee more,
Till I may meet thee at a bar in court,
Before thy judges.

Pic. Thither it must come,
Before I part with it to you, or you, sir.
P. Ca. I will not hear thee.

P. jun. Sir, your ear to me tho'.

[His son entreats him.
Not that I see through his perplexed plots,
And hidden ends; nor that my parts depend
Upon th' unwinding this so knotted skean,
Do I beseech your patience. Unto me
He hath confest the trust.

Pic. How? I confess it?
P. jun. I, thou false man.

P. Ca. Stand up to him, and confront him.
Pic. Where? when? to whom?

P. jun. To me, even now, and here:
Canst thou deny it?

Pic. Can I eat or drink?

Sleep, wake, or dream? arise, sit, go, or stand?

Do any thing that's natural ?

P. jun. Yes, lie

[natural.

It seems thou canst, and perjure; that is Pic. O me! what times are these of frontless carriage!

An egg of the same nest! the father's bird! It runs in a blood, I see!

P. jun. I'll stop your mouth.

Pic. With what?

P. jun. With truth!

Pic. With noise; I must have witness. Where is your witness? you can produce witness?

P. jun. As if my testimony were not twenty,

Balanc'd with thine?

Pic. So say all prodigals,

Sick of self-love; but that's not law, young Scatter-good:

I live by law.

P. jun. Why, if thou hast a conscience, That is a thousand witnesses.

P. Ca. Do, do, my gowned vulture, Crop in reversion; I shall see you coited Over the bar, as barge-men do their billets. Pic. This 'tis, when men repent of their good deeds,

And would ha' 'em in again-They are al most mad!

But I forgive their lucida intervalla. O, Lick-finger! come hither. Where's my writing?

[Pick-lock spies Lick-finger, and asks him aside for the writing.

And by the token, you had giv'n me the And bade me bring it.

Pic. And why did you not?

maintenance.

Lic. Why did you send a countermand? Pic. Who, I?

Lic. You, or some other you, you put in trust.

Pic. In trust?

Lic. Your trust's another self, you know; And without trust, and your trust, how should he

Take notice of your keys, or of my charge? Pic. Know you the man?

Lic. I know he was a porter,

And a seal'd porter; for he bore the badge On's breast, I am sure.

Pic. I am lost! a plot! I scent it !

Lic. Why! and I sent it by the man you sent,

Whom else I had not trusted.

Pic. Plague o' your trust! I am truss'd up among you. P. jun. Or you may be.

noose.

Pic. In mine own halter, I have made the
[Pick-lock goes out.
P.jun. What was it, Lick-finger?
[Young Penny-boy discovers it to his
father to be his plot of sending for it
by the porter, and that he is in posses-
sion of the deed.
Lic. A writing, sir,

He sent for't by a token: I was bringing it,
But that he sent a porter, and he seem'd
A man of decent carriage.

P. Ca. 'Twas good fortune!

To cheat the cheater, was no cheat, but justice.

Put off your rags, and be yourself again:
This act of piety and good affection
Hath partly reconcil'd me to you.
P.jun. Sir.

P. Ca. No vows, no promises; too much

P. jun. The office is down, how should

Lic. But of your uncle ?

P. jun. No.

Lic. He's run mad, sir.

P. Ca. How, Lick-finger?

Lic. Stark staring mad, your brother, H' has almost kill'd his maid. P. Ca. Now heav'n forbid. [Elder Penny-boy startles at the news. Lic. But that she's cat-liv'd, and squirrellimb'd, [set wide With throwing bed-staves at her: he has His outer doors, and now keeps open house For all the passers-by to see his justice. First, he has apprehended his two dogs, As being o' the plot to cozen him; And there he sits like an old worm o' the peace, [screwing,

Wrapp'd up in furs, at a square table,

3 Wine!

Examining, and committing the poor curs To two old cases of close-stools, as prisons; The one of which he calls his Lollard's tower, [dogs' names

Th' other his Block-house, 'cause his two Are Block and Lollard.

P. jun. This would be brave matter Unto the jeerers.

P. Ca. I, if so the subject Were not so wretched.

Lic. Sure I met them all, I think, upon that quest.

P. Ca. "Faith, like enough:

[natures.

The vicious still are swift to shew their
I'll thither too, but with another aim,
If all succeed well, and my simples take.

SCENE IV.
Penny-boy sen. Porter.

[He is seen sitting at his table, with papers before him.]

P. sen. Where are the prisoners?
Por. They are forth-coming, sir,

Or coming forth, at least.

P. sen. The rogue is drunk,

Since I committed them to his charge. Come hither,

[Wine3! Near me, yet nearer; breathe upon me. [He smells him.

Wine o' my worship! Sack! Canary sack! Could not your badge ha' been drunk with fulsom ale,

Or beer, the porters element? but sack! Por. I am not drunk; we had, sir, but one pint,

An honest carrier and myself.
P. sen. Who paid for't?
Por. Sir, I did give it him.

P. sen. What? and spend six-pence !
A frock spend six-pence! six-pence!
Por. Once in a year, sir.

state?

P. scn. In seven years, varlet! know'st thou what thou hast done? What a consumption thou hast made of a [young) It might please heav'n (a lusty knave and To let thee live some seventy years longer, Till thou art fourscore and ten, perhaps, a hundred. [in seventy Say seventy years; how many times seven Why seven times ten, is ten times seven, mark me,

I will demonstrate to thee on my fingers. Sixpence in seven year (use upon use) Grows in that first seven year to be a twelvepence; [four shillings; That, in the next, two shillings; the third, The fourth seven year, eight shillings; the fifth, sixteen;