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From such a rudeness; I was now beginning
To taste and love you: and am heartily sorry,
Any occasion should be so compelling,
To urge my abrupt departure thus. But-
Necessity's a tyrant, and commands it.

Host. She shall command me first to fire
my bush;
Then break up house: or, if that will not
To break with all the world. Turn country

I' mine own town, upo' the market-day,
And be protested for my butter and eggs,
To the last bodge of oats, and bottle of hay;
Ere you shall leave me, I will break my
Coach, and coach-horses, lords, and ladies
All my fresh guests shall stink! I'll pull my
sign down,


Convert mine Inn to an alms-house! or a

For lazers, or switch-sellers! turn it to
An academy o' rogues! or gi't away
For a free-school to breed up beggars in,
And send 'em to the canting universities,
Before you leave me.

Lov. Troth, and I confess

I'm loth, mine host, to leave you: your

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[mour But Lætitia was lost young; and, as the ruFlew then, the mother upon it lost herself. A fond weak woman, went away in a melancholy, [thought Because she brought him none but girls, she Her husband lov'd her not. And he as

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Ferret, Lovel, Host, Prudence.

Fer. Your horses, sir, are ready; and the house

Lov. Pleas'd thou think'st?

Fer. I cannot tell, discharg'd

I'm sure it is.

Lov. Charge it again, good Ferret,
And make unready the horses: thou know'st


Chalk, and renew the rondels, I am now Resolv'd to stay.

Fer. I easily thought so,

When you should hear what's propos'd.
Lov. What?

Fer. To throw

The house out o' the windo'?

• CHALK, and renew the RONDELS.] He is now resolv'd to stay, and therefore orders his servant to begin a fresh score or account. In public-houses, what is called for is usually set up with chalk. But the word rondels requires an explanation: I apprehend it means the circles, which are used to denominate shillings in an ale-house score. Rondel, or roundel, is a term in heraldry, to denote a round ball; and from this use of it, our poet, I presume, applies it in the sense I have assigned.

Host. Brain o' man,

I shall ha' the worst o' that!

will they not [carpet,

throw My household-stuff out first, cushions, and Chairs, stools, and bedding? is not their sport my ruin?

Lov. Fear not, mine host, I am not o' the fellowship.

[it; Fer. I cannot see, sir, how you will avoid They know already, all, you are i' the house. Lov. Who know?

Fer. The lords: they ha' seen me, and enquir'd it.

Loo. Why were you seen?
Fer. Because indeed I had
No med'cine, sir, to go invisible:
No fern-seed in my pocket; nor an opal
Wrapt in bay-leaf i' my left fist,
To charm their eyes with.

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Host. He gives you reasons As round as Gyges' ring: which, tients, Was a hoop ring; and that is, Lov. You will ha' your rebus still, mine host.

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[her, And see where secretary Pru comes from [Enter Prudence.

Employ'd upon some embassy unto you—— Host. I'll meet her if she come upon employment:


Fair lady, welcome, as your host can make Pru. Forbear, sir, I am first to have mine audience,

Before the compliment. This gentleman Is my address to.

Host. And it is in state.

Pru. My lady, sir, as glad o' the en-

To find a servant here, and such a servant,
Whom she so values; with her best respects,
Desires to be remembred; and invites
Your nobleness to be a part, to-day,
Of the society, and mirth intended [vants.
By her, and the young lords, your fellow-ser-
Who are alike ambitious of enjoying
The fair request; and to that end have sent
Me, their imperfect orator, to obtain it:
Which if I may, they have elected me,
And crown'd me, with the title of a sove-

Of the day's sports devised i' the Inn,
So you be pleas'd to add your suffrage to it.
Lov. So I be pleas'd, my gentle mistress


You cannot think me of that coarse condi

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And should, with chear, lay hold on any


That could advance it. But for me to think,
I can be any rag or particle
O' your lady's care, more than to fill her
She being the lady that professeth still
To love no soul or body, but for ends,
Which are her sports: and is not nice to
speak this,

But doth proclaim it, in all companies:
Her ladyship must pardon my weak counsels,
And weaker will, if I decline t' obey her.

Pru. O master Lovel, you must not give

To all that ladies publicly profess, 10 Or talk, o' the voleè, unto their servants. Their tongues and thoughts oft-times lye far asunder. [counsels, Yet when they please, they have their cabinetAnd reserv'd thoughts, and can retire themselves

As well as others.

Host. I, the subtlest of us !

All that is born within a lady's lips-

Pru. Is not the issue of their hearts, mine


Host. Or kiss or drink afore me.

Pru. Stay, excuse me;

Mine errand is not done. Yet, if her ladyship's
Slighting, or dis-esteem, sir, of your service,
Hath formerly begot any distaste,
Which I not know of: here I vow unto you,
Upon a chamber-maid's simplicity,
Reserving, still, the honour of my lady,
I will be bold to hold the glass up to her,
To shew her ladyship where she hath err'd,
And how to tender satisfaction; [venture.
So you vouchsafe to prove, but the day's
Host. What say you, sir? where are you?

are you within ?

Lov. Yes, I will wait upon her and the [bring him:


Host. It is enough, queen Prudence; I will And o' this kiss. I long'd to kiss a queen! Lov. There is no life on earth, but being

in love!

There are no studies, no delights, no business,
No entercourse, or trade of sense, or soul,
But what is love! I was the laziest creature,
The most unprofitable sign of nothing,
The veriest drone, and slept away my life
Beyond the dormouse, till I was in love!
And now, I can out-wake the nightingale,
Out-watch an usurer, and out-walk him too,
Stalk like a ghost, that haunted 'bout a

And all that phant'sied treasure, it is love.
Host. But is your name Love-ill, sir, or

I would know that.

Lov. I do not know't myself, Whether it is. But it is love hath been

The hereditary passion of our house,

You cannot think me of that COARSE CONDITION.] Coarse disposition, Edit. 1631. 10 Or talk o' the vOLER] i. e. without thinking, rashly, and at random: the French phrase is, à la volée.

4 D

My gentle host, and, as I guess, my friend;
The truth is, I have lov'd this lady long,
And impotently, with desire enough,
But no success: for I have still forborne
To express it, in my person, to her.

Host. How then?

[grams, Lov. I ha' sent her toys, verses, and anaTrials o' wit, mere trifles she has commended, But knew not whence they came, nor could she guess. [wooing! Host. This was a pretty riddling way of Lov. I oft have been, too, in her company; And look'd upon her a whole day; admir'd her; [still, Lov'd her, and did not tell her so; lov'd "Look'd still, and lov'd; and lov'd, and look'd, and sigh'd :”

But, as a man neglected, I came off,
And unregarded-

Host. Could you blame her, sir,
When you were silent, and not said a word?
Lov. O but I lov'd the more; and she
might read it

Best in my silence, had she been--
Host. As melancholic

As you are. Pray you, why would you

stand mute, sir?

Lov. O thereon hangs a history, mine host. Did you ever know, or hear of the lord Beaufort,

Who serv'd so bravely in France? I was

his page,

And ere he dy'd, his friend: I follow'd him,
First, i' the wars, and, i' the times of peace,
I waited on his studies; which were right.
He had no Arthurs, nor no Rosicleers,
No knights o' the Sun, nor Amadis de Gauls,
Primalions, Pantagruels, public nothings;
Abortives of the fabulous dark cloyster,
Sent out to poison courts and infest manners:
But great Achilles, Agamemnon's acts,
Sage Nestor's counsels, and Ulysses' slights,
Tydides' fortitude, as Homer wrought them
In his immortal phant'sie, for examples
Of the heroic virtue. Or, as Virgil,
That master of the Epic poem, limn'd
Pious Æneas, his religious prince,

Bearing his aged parent on his shoulders, Rapt from the flames of Troy, with his young son.

[use. And these he brought to practice, and to He gave me first my breeding, I acknowledge, [the Hours", Then shower'd his bounties on me, like That open-handed sit upon the clouds, And press the liberality of heaven Down to the laps of thankful men! but then! The trust committed to me at his death, Was above all, and left so strong a tie On all my powers, as time shall not dissolve! Till it dissolve itself, and bury all!

The care of his brave heir, and only son! Who being a virtuous, sweet, young, hopeful lord,

Hath cast his first affections on this lady. And though I know, and may presume her


As, out of humour, will return no love;
And therefore might indifferently be made
The courting-stock, for all to practise on,
As she doth practise on all us, to scorn.
Yet, out of a religion to my charge,
And debt profess'd, I've made a self-decree
Ne'er to express my person, though my

Burn me to cinders.

Host. Then you're not so subtil, Or half so read in love-craft, as I took you. Come, come, you are no phoenix, an' you


I should expect no miracle from your ashes. Take some advice. Be still that rag of love, You are. Burn on till you turn tinder. This chamber-maid may hap to prove the steel, [tress To strike a sparkle out o' the flint, your misMay beget bon-fires yet, you do not know, What light may be forc'd out, and from what darkness.

Lov. Nay, I am so resolv'd, as still I'll love Tho' not confess it.

Host. That's, sir, as it chances: We'll throw the dice for it: cheer up. Lov. I do.

" Then shower'd his bounties on me, like HowRES.] It is pity so fine a passage should have been given with such mistakes; but our comfort is, the emendation is as easy and obvious: for Howres, which conveys no idea, we are to read like the Hours; the poetica goddesses presiding over the several seasons,

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Girt thee hard, Pru. Pox o' this errant taylor, He angers me beyond all mark of patience. These base mechanicks never keep their word,

In any thing they promise.

Pru. 'Tis their trade, madam,

To swear and break, they all grow rich by breaking, [credits, More than their words; their honesties, and Are stil! the first commodity they put off. Lad. And worst, it seems, which makes 'em do't so often.

If he had but broke with me, I had not car'd But with the company, the body-politickPru. Frustrate our whole design, having that time,

And the materials in so long before? [us? Lad. And he to fail in all, and disappoint The rogue deserves a torture

Pru. To be crop'd

With his own scissars.

Lad. Let's devise him one.

Pru. And ha' the stumps sear'd up with his own searing candle?

Lad. Close to his head, to trundle on his

I'll ha' the lease of his house cut out into
Pru. And he be strangled with 'em.
Lad. No, no life



I would ha' toucht, but stretch'd on his own
He should be a little, ha' the strappado!
Pru. Or an ell of taffata
Drawn thro' his guts, by way of glyster, and
With aqua vitæ !

Lad. Burning i' the hand

With the pressing-iron cannot save him.

Pru. Yes,

Now I have got this on: I do forgive him, What robes he should ha' brought.

Lad. Thou art not cruel,
Although strait-lac'd, I see, Pru !
Pru. This is well.

Lad. 'Tis rich enough, but 'tis not what
I meant thee!

I would ha' had thee braver than myself,
And brighter far. 'Twill fit the players yet,
When thou hast done with it, and yield thee

Pru. That were illiberal, madam, and mere sordid

In me, to let a suit of yours come there. Lad. Tut, all are players, and but serve the scene, Pru.

Dispatch: I fear thou dost not like the province,


Thou art so long a fitting thyself for it. Here is a scarf to make thee a knot finer. Pru. You send me a-feasting, madam. Lad. Wear it, wench.

Pru. Yes, but with leave o' your ladyship, I would tell you, This can but bear the face of an odd journey. Lad. Why, Pru ?

Pru. A lady of your rank and quality, To come to a public inn, so many men, Young lords and others, i' your company!

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Lud. How now, Pru!

Turn'd fool upo' the sudden, and talk idly I'thy best clothes! shoot bolts and sentences T'affright babies with! as if I liv'd

To any other scale than what's my own? Or sought myself, without myself, from home? [fault, Pru. Your ladyship will pardon me my If I have over-shot, I'll shoot no more. Lad. Yes shoot again, good Pru, I'll ha' thee shoot,

And aim, and hit: I know 'tis love in thee, And so I do interpret it.

Pru. Then, madam, I'ld crave a farther leave.

Lad. Be it to license,

It sha' not want an ear, Pru. Say, what is it? Pru. A toy I have, to raise a little mirth To the design in hand.

Lud. Out with it, Pru,

If it but chime of mirth.

Pru. Mine host has, madam,

A pretty boy i' the house, a dainty child, His son, and is of your ladyship's name, too Francis,

Whom if your ladyship would borrow of him, And give me leave to dress him as I would, Should make the finest lady and kinswoman, To keep you company, and deceive my lords,

Upo' the matter, with a fountain o' sport. Lad. I apprehend thee, and the source of

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Fra. Yes, madam.

Lad. I love mine own the better. Fra. If I knew yours,


I should make haste to do so too, good
Lad. It is the same with yours.
Fra. Mine then acknowledgeth
The lustre it receives, by being nam'd after.
Lad. You will win upon me in compliment.
Fra. By silence.

Lad. A modest and fair well-spoken child.
Host. Her ladyship shall have him, sove-
reign Pru,

Or what I have beside; divide my Heart Between you and your lady. Make your use of it: [hold, My house is yours, my son is yours. BeI tender him to your service; Frank, be[Only this,


What these brave ladies would ha' you. There is a chare-woman i' the house, his

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Lad. A miracle!

Pru. Good madam,

But take him in, and sort a suit for him.
I'll give our Trundle his instructions;
And wait upon your ladyship i' the instant.
Lad. But Pru, what shall we call him,
when we ha' drest him?

Pru. My lady No-body, any thing, what you will.

Lad. Call him Lætitia, by my sister's name, And so 'twill mind our mirth too we have in hand'.


Prudence, Trundle.

Pru. Good Trundle, you must straight make ready the coach,

And lead the horses out but half a mile, Into the fields, whither you will, and then Drive in again with the coach-leaves put


At the back gate, and so to the back stairs,
As if you brought in somebody to my lady,
A kinswoman that she sent for. Make that

If you be ask'd; and give it out i' the house so.
Tru. What trick is this, good mistress
You'ld put upon us?

Pru. Us? do you speak plural ?
Tru. Me and my mares are us.
Pru. If you so join 'em,

Elegant Trundle, you may use your figures:
I can but urge, it is my lady's service.
Tru. Good mistress Prudence, you can
urge enough;

I know you are secretary to my lady,
And mistress steward.

Pru. You'll still be trundling,
And ha' your wages stopt, now at the audit.
Tru. Tis true, you're gentlewoman o' the

horse too;

Or what you will beside, Pru. I do think it My best t' obey you.

Pru. And I think so too, Trundle.


Beaufort, Latimer, Host.

Bea. Why, here's return enough of botk our ventures,

If we do make no more discovery.
Lat. What?

Then o' this parasite ?

Bea. O, he's a dainty one, The parasite o' the house.

Lat. Here comes mine host.

Host. My lords, you both are welcome to the Heart.

Bea. To the Light-Heart, we hope.
Lat. And merry, I swear.

And so 'twill MIND our mirth too we have in hand.] A marginal reading, in Mr. Theobald's copy, proposes mend our mirth, as the juster expression; and indeed, mind our mirth is hardly sense, without putting on it a very harsh construction.

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