The Dramatic Works of Ben Jonson, and Beaumont and Fletcher

We never yet felt such a fit of laughter, As your glad Heart hath offered us sin' we entred.

Bea. How came you by this property>
Host. Who! my Fly?

Bea. Your Fly, if you call him so.
Host. Nay, he is that,

And will be still.

Bea. In every dish and pot?

Host. In every cup and company, my lords, A creature of all liquors, all complexions, Be the drink what it will he'll have his sip. Lat. He's fitted with a name.

Host. And he joys in't.

I had him when I came to take the Inn here, Assign'd me over in the inventory,

As an old implement, a piece of householdstuff,

And so he doth remain.

Bea. Just such a thing

We thought him.

Lat. Is he a scholar?
Host. Nothing less.

But colours for it, as you see: wears black, And speaks a little tainted, fly-blown Latin,

After the school.

Bea. Of Stratford o' the Bow:

For Lillie's Latin is to him unknown 2.
Lat. What calling has he?
Host. Only to call in still,
Enflame the reckoning, bold to charge a bill,
Bring up the shot i' the rear, as his own
[house?

word is.

Bea. And do's it in the discipline of the As corporal o' the field, maestro del campo? Host. And visiter-general of all the rooms: He has form'd a fine militia for the Inn too. Bea. And means to publish it? Host. With all his titles; Some call him deacon Fly, some doctor Fly; Some captain, some lieutenant: but my folks Do call him quarter-master Fly, which he is.

thee better,

With a fair lady.

Fly. A lady, sweet sir Glorious! Tip. A sov'reign lady. Thou shalt be the bird

[Fly, To sovereign Pru, queen of our sports, her The Fly in household and in ordinary; Bird of her ear, and she shall wear thee there! A Fly of gold, enamel'd, and a School-fly.

Host. The schook then, are my stables, or the cellar,

Where he doth study deeply, at his hours, Cases of cups, I do not know how spic'd With conscience, for the tapster and the hostler; as

Whose horses may be cozen'd? or what jugs Fill'd up with froth? that is his way of learning. [talks? Tip. What antiquated feather's that that Fly. The worshipful host, my patron, mr. Goodstock,

A merry Greek, and cants in Latin comely, Spins like the parish-top.

Alluding to the following lines in Chaucer's

"And French she spake full fayr and fetisly,
"After the school of Stratford attè Bowe,
"For French of Paris was to her unknowe."

Unto this Inn? upon suspicion of drink, sir.] It is evident the latter part of this line must be given to Fly, whose name I have therefore inserted where it should be.

Tip. I'll set him up then. Art thou the Dominus ?

Host. Fac-totum here, sir.

Tip. Host really o' the house? and cap of maintenance ? cap-a-pie;

Host. The lord o' the Light-Heart, sir, Whereof the feather is the emblem, colonel, Put up with the Ace of Hearts!

Tip. But why in cuerpo?

I hate to see an host, and old, in cuerpo.
Host. Cuerpo? what's that?

Tip. Light-skipping hose and doublet.
The horse-boys garb! poor blank and half
blank

They relish not the gravity of an host,
Who should be king at arms, and ceremo-
nies cuerpo,
[weights.
In his own house! know all, to the gold
Bea. Why that his Fly doth for him here,

your bird.

[host,
Tip. But I would do it myself were I my
I would not speak unto a cook of quality,
Your lordship's footman, or my lady's
Trundle,

In Cuerpo if a dog but stay'd below,
That were a dog of fashion, and well nos'd,
And could present himself; I would put on
The Savoy chain about my neck, the ruff
And cuffs of Flanders, then the Naples hat,
With the Rome hatband, and the Florentine

Tip. Euclid a fencer, and in the Elysium!
Host. He play'd a prize last week with
Archimedes,

And beat him I assure you.
Tip. Do you assure me?
For what?

Host. For four i' the hundred. Gi' me five,
And I assure you again.

Tip. Host peremptory,

[you this? You may be ta'en, but where? wlience had Host. Upo' the road. A post that came from thence,

news,

Three days ago, here, left it with the tapster.
Fly. Who is indeed a thorough-fare of
[fellow!
Jack Jug with the broken belly, a witty
Host. Your bird here heard him.
Tip. Did you hear him, bird?
Host. Speak i' the faith of a Fly.
Fly. Yes, and he told us

Of one that was the prince of Orange's fencer.
Tip. Stevinus?

Fly. Sir, the same had challeng'd Euclid
At thirty weapons more than Archimedes
E'er saw, and engines; most of his own in-
vention.
[reason, this!
Tip. This may have credit, and chines

Know all, to the GOLD WEIGHTS.] i. e. every minute particular, with great exactness. The weights made use of in weighing gold, being reducible to very small quantities, such as carats, grains, &c. It should be observed that this, and the following speech, occur almost verbatim in Fletcher's Love's Pilgrimage; so likewise does the 1st scene of the 3d act, and I refer the reader to note the 2d on that act, where he will find a reason assigned for it. Tip. And WITH a long sword, bully-bird? thy sense?] I apprehend we have a slight mistake in this line: Fly had just before said, the host was possessed of a long sword; te which the other naturally replies,

And WHY a long sword, bully bird? thy sense? i. e. reason for it. With therefore seems to be a corruption, and why the genuine reading.

Go by, HIERONYMO.] A by-word taken from the tragedy of Hieronymo, of which The reader has a full account in Every man in his humour.

If any man endanger Euclid, bird,
Observe, that had the honour to quit Europe
This forty year, 'tis he. He put down
Scaliger.

Fly. And he was a great master.
Bea. Not of fence, Fly.

Tip. Excuse him, lord, he went o' the
same grounds.
[mortals.
Bea. On the same earth, I think, with other
Tip. I mean, sweet lord, the mathematicks.
Basta!

When thou know'st more, thou wilt take less green honour.

He had his circles, semicircles, quadrants— Fly. He writ a book o' the quadrature of the circle

Tip. Cyclometria, I read-
Bea. The title only.

Lat. And Indice.

Bea. If it had one; of that quære:
What insolent, half-witted things these are?
Lat. So are all smatterers, insolent and
impudent.

Bea. They lightly go together.
Lat. 'Tis my wonder,

Two animals should hawk at all discourse

thus!

[trieveFly every subject to the mark, or reBea. And never ha' the luck to be i' the right?

Lat. 'Tis some folks' fortune !
Bea. Fortune is a bawd,

And a blind beggar: 'tis their vanity!
And shews most vilely!

Tip. I could take the heart now
To write unto don Lewis into Spain,
To make a progress to the Elysian fields
Next summer——

Beu. And persuade him to die for fame, Of fencing with a shadow! Where's mine host? [i' faith. I would he had heard this bubble break,

SCENE VI.

Host, Tipto, Prudence, Beaufort, Latimer,
Frank, Nurse, Ludy, Fly, Lovel.
Host. Make place, stand by, for the
queen-regent, gentlemen.
Tip. This is thy queen that shall be, bird,
our sovereign.

Bea. Translated Prudence!
Pru. Sweet my lord, hand off;

It is not now, as when plain Prudence liv'd,
And reach'd her ladyship-

Host. The chamber-pot.

Pru. The looking-glass, mine host; loose
your house-metaphor ?

You've a negligent memory indeed;
Speak the host's language. Here's a young

lord

[she do

Will make't a precedent else.
Lat. Well acted, Pru.
Host. First minute of her reign! what will
Forty years hence? God bless her!
Pru. If you'll kiss,

Or compliment, my lord, behold a lady,
A stranger, and my lady's kinswoman."

Bea. I do confess my rudeness, that had need

To have mine eye directed to this beauty. Fra. It was so little, as it ask'd a perspicill.

Bea. Lady, your name?

Fra. My lord, it is Lætitia.

Bea. Lætitia! a fair omen and I take it.
Let me have still such Lettice for my lips :
But that o' your family, lady?
Fra. Sylly, sir.

Bea. My lady's kinswoman?
Fra. I am so honour'd.
Host. Already, it takes!
Lad. An excellent fine boy.

[sir.

Nur.He is descended of a right good stock,
Bea. What's this? an antiquary?
Host. An antiquity,

By th' dress, you'ld swear! an old Welsh herald's widow:

She's a wild Irish born! sir, and a Hybride, That lives with this young lady a mile off here,

And studies Vincent against York'.
Bea. She'll conquer,

If she read Vincent. Let me study her.
Host. She's perfect in most pedigrees,

most descents.

[a coat. Bea. A bawd, I hope, and knows to blaze Host. And judgeth all things with a single

cye.

Fly, come you hither; no discovery
Of what you see, to your colonel Toe, or
Tip here,

But keep all close, tho' you stand in the way o' preferment,

Seek it off from the road; no flattery for't: No lick-foot, pain of losing your proboscis : My liquorish Fly.

Tip. What says old velvet-head? Fly. He will present me himself, sir, if you will not.

Tip. Who? he present? what? whom? an host a groom? [glories? Divide the thanks with me? share in my Lay up. I say no more.

Host. Then silence, sir, And hear the sovereign.

Tip. Hostlers? to usurp

Upon my Sparta, or province, as they say?
No broom but mine?

Host. Still, colonel, you mutter !
Tip. I dare speak out, as Cuerpo.
Fly. Noble colonel-

And studies VINCENT against YORK.] There was a dispute on foot about this time between two heralds at arms; one was Vincent, and the other Brook who was York herald. Vincent published a book, intituled, 4 discovery of errors in two editions of the Catalogue of Nobility, written by Ralph Brook,

Tip. And carry what I ask Host. Ask what you can, sir, So't be i' the house.

Tip. I ask my rights and privileges; And the' for form I please to call't a suit, I have not been accustomed to repulse. Pru. No, sweet sir Glorious, you may still command

Host. And go without.

Pru. But yet, sir, being the first, And call'd a suit, you'll look it shall be such As we may grant.

Lud. It else denies itself.

Pru. You hear the opinion of the court.
Tip. I mind no court opinions.
Pru. 'Tis my lady's though.

Tip. My lady is a spinster at the law,
And my petition is of right.
Pru. What is it?

Tip. It is for this poor learned bird.
Host. The Fly.

[matters.

Tip. Professor in the Inn, here, of small Lat. How he commends him!

Host. As to save himself in him.

Lad. So do all politicks in their commendations.

[fly.

Buz, in their faces: give 'em all the buz, Dor in their ears and eyes, hum, dor, and buz!

I will statuminate and under-prop thee. If they scorn us, let us scorn them-We'll find

The thorough-fare below, and quære him;
Leave these relicts, buz; they shall see that I,
Spite of their jeers, dere drink, and with a fly.
Lat. A fair remove at once of two imper-
tinents !

Excellent Pru! I love thee for thy wit,
No less than state.

Pru. One must preserve the other.
Lad. Who's here?

Pru. O Lovel, madam, your sad servant.
Lad. Sad? he is sullen still, and wears a

cloud

[proach him. About his brows; I know not how to ap Pru. I will instruct you, madam, if that be all:

bitter.

How soon it pass'd away! how unrecover'd! The distillation of another soul

Was not so sweet! and till I meet again That kiss, those lips, like relish, and this taste, Let me turn all consumption, and here waste. Pru. The royal assent is past, and cannot alter.

Lad. You'll turn a tyrant.

Pru. Be not you a rebel. It is a name is alike odious. Lad. You'll hear me?

Pru. No, not o' this argument. Would you make laws, and be the first that

break 'em?

Lovel,

For so your libel here, or bill of complaint,
Exhibited, in our high court of sov'reignty,
At this first hour of our reign, declares
Against this noble lady, a disrespect
You have conceiv'd, if not receiv'd, from
her.

[bill. Host. Receiv'd, so the charge lies in our Pru. We see it, his learned council, leave your planing.

We that do love our justice, above all
Our other attributes; and have the nearness,
To know your extraordinary merit,
As also to discern this lady's goodness,
And find how loth she'd be to lose the

respects,

And valuation of a principal servant, To give you all the titles, all the privileges, The freedoms, favours, rights, she can bestow. Host. Large ample words, of a brave latitude! [honour,

Pru. Or can be expected, from a lady of Or quality, in discourse, access, address. Host. Good. [rence

Pru. Not to give ear, or admit confeWith any person but yourself. Nor there, Of any other argument but love, And the companion of it, gentle courtship, For which your two hours service, you shall

take

Two kisses.

Host. Noble!

Pru. For each hour a kiss,

To be ta'en freely, fully, and legally, Before us; in the court here, and our pre

sence.

Host. Rare.

Pru. If I be, inadam, you were best apLat. Beaufort

Bea. I am busy, prithee let me alone; I have a cause in hearing too.

Lat. At what bar?

Bea. Love's court o' requests!
Lat. Bring't into the sov'reignty:

It is the nobler court, afore judge Pru,
The only learned mother of the law !
And lady o' conscience, too!

Bea. Tis well enough

Before this mistress of requests, where it is. Host. Let 'em not scorn you.

master Lovel,

Bear up,

[a fortune.

And take your hours and kisses, they are Lov. Which I cannot approve, and less

make use of.

Host. Still i' this cloud! why cannot you

make use of?

[done? Lov. Who would be rich, to be so soon unThe beggar's best is, wealth he doth not know:

And, but to shew it him, inflames his want.
Host. Two hours at height?

Lov. That joy is too too narrow,
Would bound a love so infinite as mine;
And being past, leaves an eternal loss.
Who so prodigiously affects a feast,
To forfeit health and appetite, to see it?
Or but to taste a spoonful, would forego
All gust of delicacy ever after?

Host. These, yet, are hours of hope.
Lov. But all hours following
Years of despair, ages of misery!
Nor can so short a happiness, but spring
A world of fear, with thought of losing it;
Better be never happy, than to feel
A little of it, and then lose it ever.

Host. I do confess, it is a strict injunction; But then the hope is, it may not be kept. A thousand things may intervene, we see The wind shift often, thrice a day sometimes: Decrees may alter upon better motion, And riper hearing. The best bow may start, And the hand vary. Pru may be a sage

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