Polish, Keep, Plucentia, Pleasance, Needle. Pol. How now, my dainty charge, and diligent nurse?

What were you chanting on? (God bless you, maiden.)

[To her daughter kneeling. Keep. We were inchanting all; wishing a husband [her. For my young mistress here. A man to please Pol. She shall have a man, good nurse, and must have a man:

A man and a half, if we can chuse him out : We are all in council within, and sit about it: The doctors and the scholars; and my lady, Who's wiser than all us Where's Mr. Needle?

Her ladyship so lacks him to prick out The man: how does my sweet young mis[dear charge?

tress?

You look not well methinks! how do you, You must have a husband, and you shall have a husband. [a third There's two put out to making for you; Your uncle promises: but you must still Be rul'd by your aunt, according to the will Of your dead father and mother, (who are in heaven.) [you: Your lady-aunt has choice i' the house for We do not trust your uncle; he would keep

Lad. She is my tend'ring gossip, loves my Pol. I know you can do all things, what you please, sir,

[here!

For a young damsel, my good lady's niece, You can do what you list.

Rut. Peace, Tiffany.

[dropsy.

Pol. Especially in this new case of the The gentlewoman (I do fear) is leven'd. Rut. Leven'd? what's that?

Pol. Puft, blown, an't please your worship, Rut. What! dark by darker? what is blown puft? speak EnglishPol. Tainted (an't please you) some do

call it.

She swells, and so swells with it

Rut. Give her vent,

If she do swell. A gimblet must be had: It is a tympanites she is troubled with: There are three kinds; the first is ana-sarca Under the flesh a tumour: that's not hers. The second is ascites, or aquosus,

A wat'ry humour: that is not hers neither.
But tympanites (which we call the drum)
A wind bombs in her belly, must be un-
brac'd,

And with a faucet, or a peg, let out,
And she'll do well: get her a husband.
Pol. Yes,

I say so, Mr. Doctor, and betimes too.
Lad. As

Soon as we can let her bear up to-day, Laugh, and keep company, at gleek or crimp.

Pol. Your ladyship says right, crimp sure
will cure her.
[Tittle-tattle.

Rut. Yes, and gleek too; peace, gossip She must to-morrow down into the country, Some twenty miles; a coach and six brave horses : [weeks;

Take the fresh air a month there, or five
And then return a bride up to the town,
For any husband i' the hemisphere
To chuck at, when she has dropt her tym-

pany.

Pol. Must she then drop it?

Rut. Thence 'tis call'd a dropsy.
The tympanites is one spice of it;

A toy, a thing of nothing, a mere vapour:
I'll blow't away.

Lad. Needle, get you the coach
Ready against to-morrow morning.
Nee. Yes, madam.

Lad. I'll down with her myself, and thank the doctor.

Pol. We all shall thank him. But, dear
madam, think,

Resolve upon a man this day.
Lad. I ha' done't.

To tell you true (sweet gossip) here is none But master doctor, he shall be o' the council.

The man I have design'd her to, indeed,
Is master Practise; he's a neat young man,
Forward, and growing up in a profession!
Like to be some body, if the hall stand,
And pleading hold! A prime young lawyer's
wife,

Is a right happy fortune.

Rut. And she bringing

So plentiful a portion, they may live
Like king and queen at common law to-
[the clerks ;
Sway judges; guide the courts; command
And fright the evidence; rule at their plea-

gether!

Will be a work of time; she may be old
Before her husband rise to a chief judge,
And all her flower be gone. No, no, a lady
O' the first head I'd have her; and in court:
The lady Silk-worm, a Diaphanous lady:
And be a vi-countess, to carry all
Before her (as we say) her gentleman-usher,
And cast-off pages, bare, to bid her aunt
Welcome unto her honour at her lodgings.
Rut. You say well, lady's gossip: if my
[cede her.
Could admit that, to have her niece pre-
Lud. For that, I must consult mine own
ambition,

lady

My zealous gossip.

Pol. O, you shall precede her: You shall be a countess ! sir Diaphanous Shall get you made a countess! here he

Ha' you ne'er a ring or toy to throw away? Dia. Yes, here's a diamond of some threescore pound,

I pray you give her that.
Pal. If she will take it.

[tor too: Dia. And there's an emerald for the docThou parson, thou shalt coin me; I am thine. Pul. Here Mr. Compass comes: do you see my lady, [him? And all the rest, how they flutter about He is the oracle of the house and family. Now is your time; go nick it with the niece: I will walk by, and hearken how the chimes go.

SCENE V.

[To them] Compass.

Com. Nay, parson, stand not off; you may approach:

This is no such hid point of state we handle, But you may hear it: for we are all of counsel.

The gentle Mr. Practise hath dealt clearly And nobly with you, madam.

Lad. Ha' you talk'd with him, And made the overture?

Com. Yes, first I mov'd

The business trusted to me by your ladyship, I' your own words, almost your very syl[their elegance,

lables,

Save where my memory trespass'd 'gainst For which I hope your pardon. Then I enlarg'd,

In my own homely stile, the special goodness And greatness of your bounty in your choice, And free conferring of a benefit Se without ends, conditions, any tie But his mere virtue, and the value of it, To call him to your kindred, to your veins, Insert him in your family, and to make him A nephew by the offer of a niece, With such a portion; which when he had heard, [calling And most maturely acknowledg'd (as his Tends all unto maturity) he return'd A thanks as ample as the courtesy, (In my opinion;) said it was a grace Too great to be rejected or accepted By him but as the terms stood with his fortune, [ship, He was not to prevaricate with your ladyBut rather to require ingenuous leave, He might with the same love that it was offer'd [nesty

Refuse it, since he could not with his ho(Being he was engag'd before) receive it.

Pal. The same he said to me.

Com. And nam'd the party?
Pal. He did, and he did not.

Com. Come, leave your schemes,

The wealth of six East-Indian fleets at least! Her husband, sir John Loadstone, was the governor

O' the company seven years.
Dia. And came there home
Six fleets in seven years?
Pol. I cannot tell,

I must attend my gossip, her good ladyship. Pla. And will you make me a vi-countess too? For,

How do they make a countess? in a chair? Or 'pon a bed?

Dia. Both ways, sweet bird, I'll shew you.

That you are off, we dare come on the
The portion left was sixteen thousand pound,
I do confess it, as a just man should.
And call here Mr. Compass, with these gen-
tlemen,

To the relation; I will still be just.
Now for the profits every way arising,
It was the donor's wisdom, those should pay
Me for my watch, and breaking of my
sleeps;

It is no petty charge, you know that sum,
To keep a man awake for fourteen year.
Pra. But (as you knew to use it i' that
time)

It would reward your waking.

[counsel;

Int. That's my industry, As it might be your reading, study, and And now your pleading, who denies it you? I have my calling too. Well, sir, the con

tract

Good Mr. Practise, for us, and be speedy. Pra. But here's a mighty gain, sir, you

have made

Pra. How will you 'scape the clamour and the envy?

Int. Let 'em exclaim and envy, what care 1?

Their murmurs raise no blisters i' my flesh. My monies are my blood, my parents, kindred;

And he that loves not these, he is unnatural.
I am persuaded that the love of money
Is not a virtue only in a subject, [need)
But might befit a prince. And (were there
I find me able to make good the assertion,
To any reasonable man's understanding,
And make him to confess it.

Com. Gentlemen,
[look for
Doctors, and scholars, you'll hear this, and
As much true secular wit, and deep lay-

sense,

As can be shown on such a common place, Int. First, we all know the soul of man is

infinite

In what it covets. Who desireth knowledge,
Desires it infinitely. Who covets honour,
Covets it infinitely. It will be then
No hard thing for a coveting man to prove,
Or to confess, he aims at infinite wealth.
Com. His soul lying that way.

Int. Next, every man
Is i' the hope or possibility

Of a whole world; this present world being nothing,

But the dispersed issue o' th' first one'. And therefore I cannot see, but a just man May, with just reason, and in office ought Propound unto himself

Com. An infinite wealth!

I'll bear the burden: go you on, sir Moth. Int. Thirdly, if we consider a man a

member

Ought on their mistress' picture; every piece, Fro the penny to the twelve-pence, being the hieroglyphick,

one.

And sacred sculpture of the sovereign.
Com. A manifest conclusion, and a safe
[ing voice
Int. Fifthly, wealth gives a man the lead-
At all conventions; and displaceth worth,
With general allowance to all parties:
It makes a trade to take the wall of virtue,
And the mere issue of a shop right honour-
able.

Sixthly, it doth enable him that hath it,
To the performance of all real actions, [ing
Referring him to himself sti 1, and not bind-
His will to any circumstance, without him.
It gives hir precise knowledge of himself;
For, be he rich, he straight with evidence
knows

Whether he have any compassion,
Or inclination unto virtue, or no;
Where the poor knave erroneously believes,
If he were rich, he would build churches, or
Do such mad things. Seventhly, your wise

poor men

Have ever been contented to observe [them;
Rich fools, and so to serve their turns upon
Subjecting all their wit to the others' wealth,
And become gentlemen parasites, squire
bawds,

To feed their patron's honourable humours.
Eighthly, 'tis certain that a man may leave
His wealth, or to his children, or his friends;
His wit he cannot so dispose by legacy,
As they shall be a Harrington the better for't.
Com. He may entail a jest upon his house,
Or leave a tale to his posterity,

To be told after him.

Sir Moth! has brought his politic Bias with him,

A man of a most animadverting humour;
Who, to endear himself unto his lord,
Will tell him, you and I, or any of us,
That here are met, are all pernicious spirits,
And men of pestilent purpose, meanly af
fected

Unto the state we live in; and beget Himself a thanks with the great men o' the time,

By breeding jealousies in them of us,
Shall cross our fortunes, frustrate our endez-
vours,
[cali'd
Twice seven years after: and this trick be
Cutting of throats, with a whispering, or a
pen-knife.
[honour,

I must cut his throat now: I am bound in
And by the law of arms, to see it done:
I dare to do it, and I dare profess
The doing of it; being to such a rascal,
Who is the common offence grown of man
kind,

And worthy to be torn up from society.
Com. You shall not do it here, sir.
Iro. Why? will you

Entreat yourself into a beating for him,
My courteous brother? If you will, have at

Com. How they are scatter'd!

Iro. Run away like cimici,

Into the crannies of a rotten bed-sted.

Com. I told you, such a passage would disperse 'em, [law, Although the house were their fee-simple in And they possest of all the blessings in it. Iro. Pray heaven they be not frighted from their stomachs,

That so my lady's table be disfurnish'd
Of the provisions!

Com. No, the parson's calling,
By this time, all the covey again, together.
Here comes good tidings! dinner's o' the
board.