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my clerk.

up there.

Till he did start. But now I zee'un guilty, Tur. Where will you ha?. it paid ?
Az var as I can look at ’un. Would you Hugh. Faith, I ain a stranger
ha' more?

Here i’ the country: know you cha : Hugh. Yes, I will have, sir, what the

Hugh, law will give me.

The vicar of Pancras ? You gave your word to see him safe forth- Tur. Yes, who knows not him?? coming;

Hugh. I'll make him my attorney to t I challenge that : but that is forfeited ;

ceive it, Beside, your carelessness in the pursuit, And give you a discharge. Argues your slackness, and neglect of duty, Tur. Whom shall I send for't? Which ought be punish'd with severity: Pre. Why, if you please, send Metaph Pre. He speak's but reason, Turfe. Bring

Tree worth the man

And Turfe, I much cominend thy wikling And you are quit: but otherwise your word It's argument of thy integrity. Binds you to make annends for all his loss, Tur. But my integrity shall be my zell And think yourself befriended, if he take it,

still: Without a farther suit or going to law. Good Mr. Metaphor, give my wife this key, Come to a composition with him, Turfe; And do but whisper it into her hand : The law is costly, and will draw on charge. (She knows it well enough) bid her, by tka Tur. Yes, I do know, I vurst mun vee a Deliver you the two zeal'd bags o'stivet, Returvey,

That lie i the corner o'the cupboard, stos And then make legs to my great man o'law, At my bed-side, they're vifty pound a press To be o' my counsel, and take trouble- And bring 'em to your master. vees,

Met. If I prove not And yet zay nothing for me, but devise As just a carrier as my friend Tom Longvi. All the strict means, to ransackle me o' my 3 Then call me his curtall, change my na money.

of Miles, A pest'lence prick the throats o’’un. I do To Guilcs, Wiles, Piles, Biles, or the too. know 'un

You can devise, to crambo with for ale. As well az I was i' their bellies, and brought Hugh. Come hither, Miles, bring by the

token too What would you ha' me do? what would Fair Awdrey; say, her father sent for her: you ask of me?

Say, Clay is found, and waits at Pancz Hugh. I ask the restitution of my money;

church, And will not bate one penny o' the sum :

Where I attend to marry them in haste. Fourscore and five pound: I ash, besides, For, (by this means) Viles, I may say ttt ! Amendment for my hurts; my pain and

thee, suffering

Thy master must to Awdrey married be. Are loss enough for me, sir, to sit down with ; But not a word but muin: go get thee giri I'll put it to your worship; what you Be wary of thy charge, and keep it chise award me,

Met. O super-dainty chanon! ricar is l'll take ; and gi' him a general release.

coney *, Pre. And what say you now, neighbour Make no delay, Miles, but away ; Turfe?

And bring the wench, and money. Tur. I put it

[nab. Hugh. Now, sir, I see you meant butto 'Ev'n to your worship's bitterment, bab,

néstly ; I shall have a chance o' the dice for't, I And, but that business calls me hence awar,

hope, let 'em e'en run: and-- I would not leave you till the sun were lovi, Pre. Faith, then I'll pray you, 'cause he But, Mr. justice, one word, sir, with you. is my neighbour,

By the same token, is your mistress sent 1: To take a hundred pound, and give him day. By Metaphor, your clerk, as from her fathe Hugh. Saint Valentine's day, I will, this Who, when she comes, I'll marry her to you

Unwitting to this Turfe, who shall attend Before sun-set: my bond is forfeit else. Me at the parsonage: this was my plot 'Ev'n to your worship’s BitTERMENT.] i. e. Arbitrement, Arbitration.

Know you chanon Hugli,
The vicar of Pancras ?

Tur. Yes, WE who not him?] We is superfluous, and the necessary word is wanting ; but the reader will find it in the text.

3 Then call me his CURTAL.] i. e. bis Horse. It seems to have been a proverbial phrase ; and so Falstatt, in Shakespear,

“ Call me horse" "O super dainty chanon! vicar in coney.) These two last words should probably be joined in one; the sense of it is fine or curious : a conny thing is an expression yet used in the North, to signify what is nice and delicate.


very day,

that way:



Which I must now make good; turn chanon Vor h' had no house, save an old tub, to again,

dwell in, In my square cap. I humbly take my leave. (I vind that in records) and still he turu'd it Pre. Adieu, good captain. Trust me, ľthe wind's teeth, as't blew on his backside, neighbour Turfe,

And there they would lie routing one at - He seems to be a sober gentleman:

other, E. But this distress hath somewhat stirr'd his A week sometimes. patience.

Med. Thence came, A Tale of a Tub; And men, you know, in such extremities, And the virst Tale of a Tub, old D’ogenes Apt not themselves to points of courtesie;


(lady. I'm glad you ha' made this end.

Scri. That was avore sir Peter Tub or his Tur. You stood my friend :

Pan. I, or the 'squire their son, Tripoly
I thank your justice-worship; pray you be

Prezent anon at tendring o'the money, Cle. The 'squire is a fine gentleman !
And zee me have a discharge: vor I ha' no Med. He is more :

A gentleman and a half; almost a knight; l' your law quiblins.

Within zix inches : that's his true measure. Pre. I'll secure you, neighbour.

Cle. Zure you can gage ’un.

Med. To a streak, or less :
The SCENE interloping.

I know his d'ameters and circumference :
Medlay, Clench, Pan, Scriben.

A knight is six diameters, and a 'squire

Is vive, and zomewhat more: I know't by Mied. Indeed there is a woundy luck in

compass names, sirs,

And scale of man. I bave upo' my rule here And a main mystery, an'a man knew where The just perportions of a knight, a 'squire; To vind it. My godsire's name, I'll tell you, With a tame justice, or an officer rampant, Was In-and-Inn Shittle, and a weaver he was, Upo' the bench, from the high constable And it did fit his craft : for so his shittle Down to the headborough, or tithing-man ; Went in, and in still; this way, and then Or meanest minister o' the peace, God save And he nam’d me In-and-Inn Medlay: which Pan.' Why you can tell us by the square,

neighbour, A joiner's craft, because that we do lay Whence he is call’d a constable, and whafThings in and in, in our work. But I am


[do that. truly

Med. No, that's a book-case: Scriben can Architectonicus professor rather :

That's writing and reading, and records. That is (as one would zay) an architect. Scri. Two words,

Cle. As I am a varrier and a visicary ; Cyning and staple, make a constable : Horse-smith of Hamstead, and the whole As we'd say, a hold or stay for the king. town leach

Cle. All constables are truly John's for Med. Yes, you ha' done woundy cures,

the king,

[Roger. gossip Clench.

Whate'er their names are, be they Tony or Cle. An' I can zee the stale once through Med. And all are sworn as vingars o' the a urine-hole,

one hand, I'll give a shrewd guess, be it man or beast. To hold together 'gainst the breach o' peace; I cur'd an ale-wife once that had the stage The high constable is the thumb, as one

Worse than five horses, without rowelling. The hold-fast o' the rest.
My god-phere was a Rabian or a Jew; Pun. Pray luck he speed
(You can tell, D'oge !) they call'd’un doc- Well i' the business between captain Thums
tor Rasi.

And him.
Scri. One Rasis was a great Arabic doctor. Med. I'll warrant ’un for a groat;
Cle. He was king Harry's doctor, and my I have his measures here in rithmetique,

How he should bear 'un self in all the lines
Pan. Mine was a merry Greek, To-Pan Of's place and office: let us zeek 'un out.

of Twiford,
A jovial tinker, and a stopper of holes ;

Who left 'em nietal-man of Belsise, his heir.
Med. But what was yours, D'oge?

Tub, Hilts, Metaphor.
Scri. Vaith, I cannot tell,

[had Tub. Hilts, how do'st thou like o' this If mine were kyrsin'd or no. But zure he

our good day's work? A kyrsin naine, that he left me, Diogenes. Hil. As good e'en ne'er a whit, as ne'er A mighty learned man, but pest'lence poor.

the better. Why you can tell'us by the SQUIRE, neighbour.] It should be squarc, an instrument or kind of rule used by carpentera.


would zay,

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Tub. Shall we to Pancras or to Kentish- And wast made up of patches, parings, town, Hilts?

[to us,

shreds : Hil. Let Kentish-town or Pancras coine Thou, that when last thou wert put out If either will: I will go honie again.

of service, Tub. Faith, Basket, our success hath been Travell’dst to Hamstead-heath on an Ashbut bad,

We'nesday, And nothing prospers that we undertake ; Where thou didst stand six weeks the Jack For we can neither meet with Clay nor Aw

of Lent, drey, For boys to hurl three throws a penny at thee

, The chanon Hugh, nor Turfe the constable: To make thee a purse : seest thou this boid We are like men that wander in strange

bright blade?

[grave woods,

(seek. This sword shall sbred thee as small unto the And lose our selves in search of them we As minc'd meat for a pie. Pll set thee in Hil. This was because we rose on the

earth wrong side :

All, save thy head and thy right-arm at But as I am now here, just in the mid-way,

liberty, I'll zet my sword on the pummel, and that To keep thy hat off while I question thee Jine

What? why? and wbither thou wert going The point valls to, we'll take, whether it be

now, To Kentish-town, the church, or home again. With a face ready to break out with busines Tub. Stay, stay thy hand; here's justice And tell me truly, lest I dash't in pieces. Bramble's clerk,

Met. Then, Basket, put thy smiter up, Enter Metaphor.

and hear; Th’unlucky hare hath crost us all this day. I dare not tell the truth to a drawp sword. I'll stand aside whilst thou pump'st out of Hil. 'Tis sheath’d, stand up, speak with him

out fear or wit. His business, Hilts; and how he's now Met. I know not what they nean; but employed.

constable Turfe Hil. Let me alone, I'll use him in his kind. Sends here his key for moneys in his cupboard Met. Oh for a pad-horse, pack-horse, or Which he must pay the captain that 3 a post-horse,


robb'd To bear me on his neck, his back, or his This morning. Smell you nothing? I am as weary with running as a mill-horse Hil. No, not I: That hath led the mill once, twice, tbrice Thy breeches yet are honest. about,

Met. As my mouth. After the breath hath been out of his body. Do

not smell a rat? I tell you truth, I could get up upon a pannier, a pannel, I think all's knavery: for the chanon whs Or, to say truth, a very pack-saddle,


[key, Till all my honey were turn’d into gall, Me in the ear, when Turfe had gi’n me his And I could sit in the seat no longer : By the same token to bring Mrs. Awdres, Oh the legs of a lackey now, or a footman, As sent for thither; and to say, John Clay Who's the surbater of a clerk-current, Is found, which is indeed to get the wench And the confounder of his trestles dormant ! Forth for my master, who is to be married But who have we here, just in the nick ? When she comes there: the chanon has bs Hil. I'ın neither nick, nor in the nick:

rules therefore

Ready, and all there, to dispatch the matter. You lie, sir Metaphor.

Tub. Now, on my life, this is the chanon's Met. Lie? how?

plot! Hil. Lie so, sir. (He strikes up his heels. Miles, I have heard all thy discourse to Mlet. I lie not yet i my throat.

Wilt thou be true, and I'll reward thee well, Tiil. Thou ly’st o' the ground.

To make me happy in my mistress :Awdrer Dost thou know me ?

Met. Your worship shall dispose of Me Met. Yes, I did know you too late.


[head Hil. What is my name, then?

Thro' all his parts, e'én from the sole o' the Met. Basket.

To the crown o' the foot, to manage of your Hil, Basket? what?

service. Met. Basket, the great

Tub. Then do thy message to the mistress Mil. The great what?

Tell her thy token, bring the money hither, Alet. Lubber

And likewise take young Awdrey to tby I should say, lover, of the 'squire his master.

charge : Hil. Great is my patience, to forbear Which done, here, Metaphor, we will attend thee thus,

And intercept thee. And for thy reward Thou scrape-hill, scoundrel, and thou scum You two shall share the money, I the maid: of nian ;

If any take offence, I'll make all good. Uncivil, orange-tawny-coated clerk :

Met. But shall I have half the money, Thou cam’st but half a thing into the world,

sir, in faith?



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Tub. I, on my 'squireship shalt thou ; With Mrs. Awdrey: 'pray you, use her well, and my land.

As a gentlewoman should be us’d. For my Alet. Then, if I make not, sir, the clean

pari, liest 'scuse

I do incline a little to the serving-man; To get her hither, and be then as careful We have been of a coat-I had one like To keep her for you, as 'twere for myself,

yours; Down o' your knees, and pray that honest Till it did play me such a sleeveless errand, Miles

As I had nothing where to put mine arms in, May break his neck ere he get o'er two stiles. And then I tirew it off. 'Pray you go be

fore her, SCENE III.

Serving-man like, and see that your nose Tub, Hilts.

drop not. Tub. Make haste, then: we will wait As for example, you shall see me: mark, here thy return.

(hopes, How I go afore her : so do you. Sweet This luck unlook'd for bath reviv'd iny

Miles, Which were opprest with a dark melan- She for her own part, is a woman cares not choly:

What man can do unto her in the way In happy time we linger'd on the way, Of honesty and good manners. So farewell To niect these summons of a better sound, Fair Mrs. Awdrey: farewell Mr. Miles. Which are the essence of my soul's content. I have brought you thus far onward o' your Hil. This heartless fellow; shame to

way: serving-men;

[do! I must go back now to make clean the rooms, Stain of all liveries; what fear makes bim Where my good lady bas been. Pray you How sordid, wretched and unworthy things ;

commend ine

stift. Betray his master's secrets, ope' the closet To bridegroom Clay; and bid him bear up Of his devices, force the foolish justice Met. Thank you, good Hannibal Puppy; Make way for your love, plotting of his

I shall fit


The leg of your commands with the strait Like him that digs a trap to catch another, Of dispatch presently. And falls into't himself !

Pup. Farewell, fine Metaphor. Tub. So would I have it;

Met. Come, gentle mistress, will you And hope 'twill prove a jest to twit the

please to walk ? justice with.

Avd. I love not to be led : I'd go alone. Hil. But that this poor white-liver'd rogue Met. Let not the mouse of my good should do'i ?

meaning, lady, And merely out of fear?

Be snap'd up in the trap of your suspicion, Tub. And hope of money, Hilts.

To lose the tail there, either of her truth, A valiant man will nibble at that bait.

Or swallow'd by the cat of misconstruction. Hil. Who, but a fool, will refuse money Awd. You are too finical for me; speak proffer'd ?

plain, sir. Tub. And sent by so good chance. Pray heaven he speed.


Hil. If he come empty-handed, let him
To go back empty-headed; I'll not leave him

Tub, Awdrey, Hilts, Metaphor, Lady, PolSo much of brain in's pate, with pepper and

Ålartin. [To them. ] vinegar,

Tub. Welcome again, my Awdrey : welTo be serv'd in for sauce to a calf's-head.

come, love: Tub. Thou serv'd him rightly, Hilts.

You shall with me; in faith deny me not. Hil. I'll scal as much

I cannot brook the second hazard, mistress. With my hand, as I dare say now with my Awd. Forbear, squire Tub, as minė own

tongue; • But if you get the lass from Dargison, I am not for your mowing. You'll be flown What will you do with her ?

Ere I be fledg’d. Tub. We'll think o'that

Hil. Hast thou the


Miles? When once we have her in possession, go

Met. Here are two bags, there's fifty pound in each.


Tub. Nay, Awdrey, I possess you for this SCENE IV.

Sirs, take that coin between you, and di

vide it. Puppy, Metaphor, Awdrey.

My pretty sweeting, give me now the leave Pup. You see we trust you, Mr. Meta- To challenge love and marriage at your phor,

hands. But if you get the lass from Darrison.] The meaning of this last term is unknown to me; whether it be a proper name, taken from some romance, and how applied, I know pot; or whether a corruption from Kentish-town, which is not improbable.

mother says,


this way.

for you :

you for.


Awd. Now, out upon you, are you not Lad. It must be now, my business lies asham'd?

(cuse me What will my lady say? In faith, I think Tub. Will not an hour hence, madam, el. She was at our house : and I think she ask'd Lad. 'Squire, these excuses argue mor:

your guilt. And I think she hit me i'th' teeth with you, You have some new device now to project

, I thank her ladyship: and I think she means Which the poor tileman scarce will thani Not to go hence till she has found you. Tub. How say you??

What? will you go? Was then my lady mother at your house? Tub. I ba ta'en a charge upon me, Let's have a word aside.

To see this maid conducted to her father, Awd. Yes, twenty words.

Who, with the chanon Hugh, stays her 2 Lad. 'Tis strange, a motion, but I know

Pancras, not what,

[Totten, To see ber married to the same John Clar Comes in my mind, to leave the way to Lad. "Tis very well: but, 'squire, take And turn to Kentish-town again my journey:

you no care, And see my son, Pol-Martin, with his I'll send Pol-Martin with her for that office: Awdrey.

You shall along with me; it is decreed. Ere while we left her at her father's house : Tub. I have a little business with a friend And hath he thence remov'd her in such

madam. haste !

Lad. That friend shall stay for you, What shall I do? shall I speak fair, or chide?


for him. Pol. Madam, your worthy son with du- Pol-Martin, take the maiden to your care teous care

Commend me to her father. Can govern his affections : rather then Tub. I will follow you. Break oil their conference some other way, Lad. Tut, tell not me of following. Pretending ignorance of what you know. Tub. I'll but speak a word. Tub. An' this be all, fair Awdrey, I am Lad. No whispering: you forget yours: thine.

And make your love too palpable: a squire Lail. Mine you were once, though scarce- And think so beanly? fall upon a cow-shar: 1. now your own.

You know my mind. Come, I'll to Turt: Hil. 'slid, my lady! my lady!

house, Met. Is this my lady bright?

And see for Dido and our Valentine. Tub. Mariam, you took me now a little Pol-Martin, look to your charge, I'll loc tardy.

[d vout

to mine. Lad. At prayers I think you were: what, so

[They all go out but Pol-Martine Of late, that you will shrive you to all con

Andrey. fessors

Pol. I smile to think, after so many profile You meet by chance! come, go with me, This maid hath had, 'she now should fall :

good squire, And leave your linen ® : I have now a bu

That I should have her in my custody: siness,

'Twere but a mad trick to make the esser And of importance, to impart unto you. And jump a match with her immediately Tub. Madam, I pray you, spare me but She's' fair and handsome, and she's rich an hour;

enough: Please you to walk before, I follow you. Both time and place minister fair occasion -

She means
Not to go hence till she has found you, How say YOU?

Tub. W us then my lady mother at your house ?] If the reader thinks with me, be 7 be disposed to alter the present ordination of these speeches : for I must own, that I thir Tub's part here should begin with the question, How suy you? which is expressive of his surprize at what Awdrey had just been telling him. We ought to read then, if the case be $0, as follows:

She means
Not to go hence till she has found you. Tub. How say you ?
Was then my lady mother at your

house? • Tub. An' this all, fair Awdrey, I am thine.] We must supply something to give meaning to the first part of this verse. I


it stood originally thus ; An' this be all, fair Awdrey, I am thine. 'Tis probable she was clearing some suspicions he had entertained ; and as he was new satisfied, he had no scruple remaining, but was wholly hers.

Come, go with me, good squire, And leave your linen.] The words are spoke of Awdrey, and so perhaps there may be no dificulty in applying the last word; but Mr. Theobald queries the expression

, and has wrote in his margin Leman, that is, mistress,


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