connection with it. The poor fellow was taken ill when on a journey, and died, as has been said, in the summer of 1778, neglected and in misery, in all probability, the last type of the domestic fool in this country.

The custom of fooling one's neighbours on the 1st of April is widespread, and old enough to make it impossible to say with certainty what may have been its origin. In 1313, Philip the Fair of France gave an entertainment, consisting of a species of dramatic representation of incidents and parables from Scripture; these 'moralities,' as they were called, continued to be common all through the later centuries of the middle ages; and in some parts of Europe they are represented even to the present day. In the month of April, scenes from the Passion of our Lord were usually depicted, including that one where he is sent from Pilate to Herod, and back again from Herod to Pilate. It has been conjectured that this may have given rise to the custom of sending on fruitless errands, and other tricks prevalent at that season. In Germany, the expression, 'sending a man from Pilate to Herod,' is sometimes used to signify sending about unnecessarily. It seems at least as likely, however, that the tricks of the 1st of April may be the remains of some heathenish custom, spread over Europe by the Eastern conquerors. The practice is probably of older date than the fourteenth century, and it is not confined to Europe. Something like it is said to exist even among the savages of the East Indies, about the time of the Huli festivals. One of the best April tricks on record is that of Rabelais, who, finding himself at Marseille without money, and being anxious to get on to Paris, fell on the expedient of filling some phials with dust and ashes, and labelling them as poison for the royal family of France. Having put them in a place where they could not fail to be discovered, he was of course apprehended, and carried to Paris on a charge of treason. There the jest was explained; the trash in the phials was found to be harmless, and Rabelais was liberated.

Of all the extraordinary and atrocious institutions of folly ever developed among mankind, the Feast of Fools is perhaps altogether the most astonishing. This imitation of the old Roman Saturnalia was celebrated in several of the countries of Europe from the fifth to the sixteenth century; and, like the Saturnalia, the principal celebration was held in December, usually on the Holy Innocents' Day; but the festival lasted from Christmas to Septuagesima. Laymen choir-boys, and other inferior servants of the church, and even priests, took part in the performance. The bishop, canons, and other high dignitaries formed part of the audience. An archbishop of fools,' or 'bishop of unreason,' as he was called, was elected, usually from among the choir, and consecrated after a profane and ridiculous form. He then proceeded to read highmass, or, if he preferred, he commissioned some one else to do it, while he seated himself in the bishop's chair, and afterwards gave his blessing to the people, with many extraordinary ceremonies. During mass, the priests played at dice upon the altar, and burned stinking incense in the holy censer. The other performers, masked, and dressed in ludicrous costume, engaged in all sorts of profane foolery, including the most indecent songs and dances. These blasphemous performances were now and then denounced by popes, bishops, and councils; but no effectual prohibitions were issued before the sixteenth century, and even then there were persons who defended them as sacred and well-pleasing to God!

Though in the earlier centuries of Christianity it may have been difficult to abolish all at once every relic of the heathen ceremonies, yet it is extremely difficult to account satisfactorily for the long continuance of these remarkable celebrations. Doubtless, they were more or less in accordance with the spirit of these ages, when, with childish simplicity, men's minds combined the most ridiculous with the noblest

subjects. When we gaze on the slender and elegant columns of a Gothic church, we often find in the tracery of the capitals a squirrel, a monkey, or even a miniature man in a ridiculous attitude, as some quibble or stroke of humour is often introduced in the dramas of Shakspeare, in the midst of the most tragic scenes. Burlesque figures were frequently drawn in the work of the illuminated initial letters in the breviaries, with a licence which would be most startling to an observer whose ideas were formed entirely on the usage of later periods.'

NOXIOUS VAPOURS. ANY one who has passed through a manufacturing district in which the smelting of copper or any similar process is carried on, must have been struck with the barren and desolate aspect of the surrounding country; the grass is dried up, the trees are withered, and even the houses and public buildings appear mouldy and unwholesome. The cause of this desolation is to be found in the noxious vapours proceeding from works of this description, and the evil has become so great-the entire vegetation of a district having in some cases been utterly destroyed-that the attention of the legislature has been called to it, in order that some means may be devised to mitigate the injurious effects of chemical manufactures. For this purpose, a committee was instituted 'to inquire into the injury resulting from noxious vapours evolved in certain manufacturing processes, and into the state of the law relating thereto;' and a great number of curious and interesting facts have been thereby elicited.

The works from which the vapours most injurious to vegetable and animal life are evolved, appear to be those devoted to the manufacture of alkali, sulphuric acid or ammonia salts, or to the smelting of copper and lead; so powerful, indeed, is the effect of these noxious gases, that wherever they fall, the vegetation is entirely burned up and destroyed. In the neighbourhood of Swansea, for instance, where there are extensive copper-smelting works, the country is entirely denuded of vegetation; the hillsides present to the view only a barren mass of gravel and stones. Animal life is also endangered to a considerable extent, as the fumes given out during the process of smelting copper contain arsenious acid (white arsenic), which, being deposited on the few blades of grass spared by the withering influence of the vapours, absolutely poisons the animals who wander there in search of food.

The manufacture of soda, which is one of the processes of which the greatest complaints have been made, in consequence of the highly deleterious effects of the vapour evolved, is conducted as follows: Upon the floor of a furnace so constructed that the fire at one end has a communication with the chimney at the other, is laid a quantity of common salt; upon this, sulphuric acid is poured, and the result is a violent decomposition, during which a large quantity of muriatic acid gas is evolved, and passes up the chimney. Being heavier than the atmosphere, this vapour, as soon as it gets into the exterior air, descends on the surrounding country, and destroys the crops and trees. The sulphate of soda which remains on the floor of the furnace is then dried, and a quantity of the same poisonous vapour is again given off. The dry sulphate is then heated with charcoal, and afterwards with chalk, and is thus reduced to carbonate of soda (the soda of commerce), the sulphur passing off, combined with lime, as alkali waste. This alkali waste produces in its turn another nuisance, as it is useless for any purpose of manufacture, and is allowed to accumulate in heaps, throwing out most offensive exhalations. Some of the principal alkali works are at St Helens, and the vege tation for one or two miles round this place is entirely

destroyed by the vapours-the trees lose their leaves, the branches decay, the bark becomes discoloured and hardened, and they are ultimately killed. The orchards and gardens, the produce of which in former years paid half the rent of the small householders, have, since the establishment of the works, yielded little or nothing; the potatoes are cut off as if by a blight; and many of the cows have cast their calves.

It appears, however, to be quite possible to carry on this manufacture without the slightest evolution of noxious vapour, the whole of the muriatic acid produced by the decomposition of the salt being disposed of in condensers erected for the purpose. The apparatus by which this is effected is the invention of a Worcestershire manufacturer named Gossage, who, having had continual complaints made to him of the injury done to the crops in the neighbourhood of his works, determined, if possible, to find out some means of remedying the evil, and after having devoted considerable time and labour to the subject, succeeded in discovering a process by which a perfect condensation of the objectionable gas was effected. This process, which has been since adopted by many others in the trade, consists in passing the muriatic acid gas, as it escapes from the furnace, through several towers filled with coke, which is kept constantly moistened with water; the gas, in making its way upwards through the towers, comes in contact with the moistened coke, and is immediately condensed by the water, for which it has a great affinity; it is then drawn off at the bottom of the tower, and sold for making bleaching-powder and for other manufactures in which muriatic acid is employed. As, however, only a certain quantity of the liquid muriatic acid thus produced is marketable, the remainder is allowed to flow into the streams and rivers in the neighbourhood, where it exercises, to a less noticeable extent, its destructive influence, poisoning the fish, and burning up the vegetation of any portion of the country that may happen to be inundated by the waters which contain it. For this minor evil, there appears as yet to be no remedy; but the greater one, produced by the vapour evolved from the manufactories which do not condense their gas, is clearly preventable; and it is therefore the obvious duty of the legislature to take steps for the protection of the public from those manufacturers who refuse to conduct their business with a proper regard to the health and property of their neighbours.

The vapours evolved by the smelting of copper seem to be even more injurious than those produced in the manufacture just described; and in this case there seems to be no practical remedy for the disastrous effects of such vapours. Several new processes for obtaining copper from the raw material have been tried, but none of them have been found to answer commercially, and the manufacturers have invariably returned to the old method, which consists of several processes, the first of which, called the roasting process, being the one which produces the mixture of deleterious vapours so prejudicial to the health of the plants and animals in the neighbourhood. The object of this process is to cause the sulphur and other substances contained in the ore to be separated from the copper, so that the latter may be reduced to such a state that it can be easily fused and purified in the after-processes. This is effected by spreading the ore over the bottom of the furnace, and admitting air by means of apertures in the sides, the result of which is that the sulphur, arsenic, &c., contained in the ore, pass off in the form of sulphurous, arsenious, and arsenic acids, which are carried into the air, and descend on the surrounding country. The sulphurous acid is the most hurtful of these gases, as it spreads over the country for miles, and only falls to the ground when it comes into contact with moisture, for which it has a great attraction, and by which it is immediately changed into sulphuric acid, and burns up

every bit of vegetation on which it falls. The devastating influence of this gas is said to extend sometimes to a distance of twenty miles from the works which produce it. The other ingredients of the 'coppersmoke,' although very injurious in their effects-some of them, as arsenious acid, being absolute poisons-are very heavy, and consequently fall to the ground within a few hundred yards, and produce no injurious effect on the country at a greater distance. Several suggestions have been made for the purpose of preventing or mitigating the injury inflicted by copperworks, but the only one of any practical utility appears to be that of passing the vapours through long flues, and allowing them to go into the air only at a great height, by which means a portion of the injurious matters are deposited, and the rest are dispersed to such an extent, before falling to the ground, that their influence is considerably weakened. The principal objection to employing these means is the alleged fact, that the tall chimneys create too much draught, and necessitate the employment of skilled workmen instead of ordinary workmen, thus materially increasing the working expenses.

Similar fumes of sulphurous acid are evolved in the process of smelting lead, but as it is to the interest of the manufacturers to pass the fumes through long flues before permitting them to go into the air, in consequence of the large quantity of lead which is deposited in their passage, this means of decreasing the injurious effects of the vapour seems to be generally made use of. It is, however, very inadequate, as the sulphurous acid always remains, and finds its way into the atmosphere; and, however diluted it may become, it must always produce more or less injury to vegetation when it reaches the ground. Besides these manufactures, those of ammonia, alum, sulphuric acid, Portland cement, coke, and others give off noxious gases, but there are means available for preventing their escape in each of these processes; in the preparation of coke, for instance, it is only necessary to cause the vapours evolved to pass through a tall chimney. The method adopted for getting rid of the gases evolved in the manufacture of Portland cement is very ingenious, and shews to what profitable account scientific men can turn products which have previously been looked upon as not only useless, but positively injurious.

Portland cement is made by mixing four parts of chalk with one part of the mud of the Thames, and then drying the mixture on a heated floor. It is then burned in kilns formed of alternate layers of coke and cement, and during this burning, very offensive gases are given off. On being chemically examined, these gases were found to consist principally of carbonic oxide and sulphuretted hydrogen, both of which are easily inflammable; and it was suggested that if these gases were burned, the process of manufacturing cement would be innocuous, and that, at the same time, the heat given out by their combustion might be applied to the drying-floor. This was done by passing the gases proceeding from the kilns over a coke-fire, and directing them underneath the drying-floor, the small portion of sulphurous acid resulting from the combustion being condensed in a cistern filled with wet coke. It was found that by this process not only was all smell taken away, but there was a very considerable saving in coal, one manufacturer having reckoned that he saved at least six hundred pounds yearly by the adoption of this method.

We have hitherto spoken only of those manufactures which cause the evolution of gases prejudicial to animal or vegetable life, but there are also numerous trades producing effluvia so offensive as to render it absolutely necessary to close all the doors and windows of the houses in the vicinity; and as these trades are carried on in London, the nuisance created by them is almost as much deserving of attention as

that caused by the manufactures previously alluded to, even although their directly injurious effect on health is not alarming. The unavailing attempts that have been made to compel an abatement of the nuisance in the case of several of these unwholesome trades, will also serve to shew the inadequacy of the existing laws relative to nuisances, and the difficulty of practically applying those laws.

The two London districts most affected in this way are those of Camden Town and Poplar, in the former of which is a small space called Belle Isle, consisting of a collection of manufactories all of a most offensive kind. In this unsavoury spot, there are nine varnishmakers, numerous stuff-melters, whose trade consists in collecting and boiling down animal refuse of every kind; three tallow-melters, two soap-boilers, two manure-manufacturers, two black-japan makers, a lucifer-match maker, a printing-ink maker, three knackers, and three pig-feeders. The other favoured district, that of Poplar, contains-four factories, dealing with the refuse of gas; seventeen works for making manure, chiefly from fish-decaying organic matter and other offensive materials; ten works for boiling bones and animal refuse, including a candlefactory and a soap-factory; five varnish-makers; eleven manufacturing chemists, including one smelter of antimony; one set of coke-ovens and one of gasworks. All these trades are more or less injurious, the varnish-making and the stuff-melting being perhaps the most offensive. In the former process, which consists in boiling various ingredients in oil, a white fume is produced, having an odour very much resembling the effluvium from burning paint, which is one of the most offensive in existence. The injurious nature of the stuff-melting process, in which all sorts of diseased and putrid meats are boiled down, is sufficiently obvious to every one. It has been pretty clearly proved, however, that almost all these businesses can be carried on in such a manner that no perceptible odour shall be given out; the only difficulty is to get the manufacturers to use apparatus effective for the purpose, which they will only do on compulsion, as its adoption entails considerable trouble and expense.

The only act under which persons creating a nuisance of this character can be proceeded against, is the Nuisances Removal Act, the 27th clause of which says: 'If any candle-house, melting-place, or soap-house, or any slaughter-house, or any building or place for boiling offal or blood, or for boiling, burning, or crushing bones; or any manufactory, building, or place used for any trade, business, process, or manufacture causing effluvia, be at any time certified to the local authority by any medical officer, or any two legally qualified medical practitioners, to be a nuisance, or injurious to the health of the inhabitants of the neighbourhood, the local authority shall direct complaint to be made before any justice, who may summon before any two justices in petty sessions assembled at their usual place of meeting, the person by, or in whose behalf the work so complained of is so carried on; and such justices shall inquire into such complaint, and if it shall appear to such justices that the trade or business carried on by the person complained against is a nuisance, or causes any effluvia injurious to the health of the inhabitants of the neighbourhood, and that such person shall not have used the best practicable means for abating such nuisance, or preventing or counteracting such effluvia, the person so offending (being the owner or occupier of the premises, or being a foreman or other person employed by such owner or occupier) shall, upon summary conviction of such offence, forfeit and pay a sum of not more than five pounds, nor less than forty shillings.'

Although this clause would appear at first sight to give sufficient power to the magistrates to deal with preventable nuisances, there are three difficulties, and

almost insurmountable ones, in the way of obtaining any effectual relief from it. The first is the insufficient power granted to the inspectors, who can demand admission to the works only between nine in the morning and six in the evening; whereas many of the processes complained of are carried on during the night. The second is the fact that, these inspectors, if refused admission, must obtain an order from the magistrates before they can enforce it; and by the time that order is obtained, all evidence of the nuisance can be removed. The third, and perhaps the most important, is the necessity of obtaining legal evidence as to which of the works among a certain number all producing offensive odours gave birth to that effluvium of which complaint is made, which is, of course, practically impossible, as no one could separate one effluvium from another in such a way as to be able to swear that any one factory created the nuisance he was annoyed by at any particular day and hour. Besides this, when, as in the case of Belle Isle, a collection of factories on the border of one parish spreads offensive effluvia over another, the local authority of the aggrieved parish has no power of proceeding against the offending parties. Thus we see that, in the present state of the law, it is next to impossible to compel the abatement of a nuisance of the kind, however great it may be; and it is stated that the inhabitants of Islington have been proceeding against the Belle Isle manufacturers for the last twenty years, while that delightful spot is still in as bad a state as ever.

These remarks apply equally to the case of nuisances created by the noxious gases evolved from the chemical manufactures treated of in the former part of this article, there being, besides, this additional difficulty, that such manufactures would probably not be considered to belong to the class specified in the Nuisances Removal Act, which seems to apply more particularly to nuisances arising from the manufactures of animal matter. In a similar manner, the act for compelling the consumption of smoke would not apply, as the term smoke is intended to signify the products of the combustibles used in the furnace, and not the gases evolved by the manufacture. The only course open is, therefore, an indictment for nuisance, which is so expensive and so uncertain in its results, that but few individuals would care to move in it.

The general conclusion to which we are brought by the above facts is, that the law in its present state is utterly inadequate for the prevention of the injury to life and health caused by the evolution of noxious gases and offensive effluvia in certain manufactures, and that, as many of these manufactures can be conducted in such a way as to be entirely inoffensive, it is necessary that some change in the law should be made, in order to enforce the adoption of the best known means for condensing or consuming these noxious vapours.

THE UNRECEIPTED BILL. READER, did you ever journey on an omnibus from Paddington to the terminus of that railway which has of late endeavoured to obliterate the remembrance of its past by calling itself the Great Eastern? If so, you will understand the advantage, during that arduous travel, of having a conversable companion. Such a one had I a while ago, who caused me to forget the dreary wastes of Islington and the squalid fastnesses of Shoreditch, in the following touching episode of his own life-drama:

There was nothing in his external appearance that would have led you to suppose him suffering from an inexpiable wrong. His brow was not what a writer of any principle could have honestly called 'noble,' nor had it the appearance of being 'scathed,' although it was red. His form was not 'slight and graceful,' for he was somewhat inclined to obesity. His hair

was not at all like a raven's wing,' and there was very little of it. His age might not be fixed about that period when the enthusiasm of the Boy begins to be tinged by the soberer tints of manhood.' Neither Bulwer nor Byron would have chosen him for their hero for the contemptuous curl' of his lip, which was thick and straight, nor for that of his nose, which was in the anti-Roman direction-upward. The sole claim that he could have put forward to the pity of the lovers of romance was, that he was an orphanand it was high time he should be so, for he was fifty, if he was a day. His profession, indeed (which he confided to me), was something mysterious, for he was 'in the wine and cigar line;' which, though not an uncommon combination, is surely a curious one, suggested, I suppose, by the association of ideas; but who ever heard of any other occupation similarly suggested? of the 'sherry and soda-water' line, for instance, or the 'shoe and stocking' trade?

And yet this man had a grievance, and was as ready to tell it, and at considerable length too, as the moodiest and most soliloquising hero of melodrama. We had got no further than the Marylebone Road, when I found myself in possession of the principal features of his biography; he had so 'cottoned' to me (to use his own expressive words), that he had, at that point, confided to me his birthplace, his state of celibacy, his religious views-which, however, were principally of a negative character, being, for one thing, strongly anti-Mormon *-his tendency to colds in the head (with illustrations), and his pecuniary embarrassments-which last, however, did not prevent him offering me hospitality at every house of entertainment at which our vehicle drew up.

In the Marylebone Road, then, my friend and I were importuned to purchase literature: Buy the Life of Garibaldi, sir; Buy the Lord Mayor's Show' -a gorgeous procession occupying several feet of paper, but coloured with more profusion than discrimination-Buy the Pilgrim's Progress, price one penny, sir.'

'Jolly book is the Pilgrim's Progress,' remarked my companion approvingly.

Jolly?' said I; 'well, really'

'I mean horrible,' explained the Communicative One. I like the giant immensely who lived in Dublin -no, in Doubting Castle. I am an unfortunate man, and to read of misfortunes gives me a great deal of pleasure. There was a copy of that book, sir, in the home of my infancy, and I used to read it, lying upon my stomach on the hearth-rug; that had pictures in it, that had. I will bet a shilling this has got no pictures.'

'Well,' said I, 'you can scarcely expect pictures in an edition so exceptionally cheap as this.'

'One penny, sir,' reiterated the news-vender the Pilgrim's Progress, price one penny. Very suitable for a present.'

My stout companion shivered like a jelly just escaped from its mould. 'Not if I know it,' exclaimed he. I was very nearly being persuaded to buy that rascal's book; but now he has let the cat out of the bag. Suitable for a present indeed! And where's his receipt, I should like to know?'

'Nay,' said I, 'you must be a man of business to the backbone if you expect a receipt for a penny-book. You don't suppose that the conductor of this omnibus will give us a written release from our liability to pay his fare, do you?'

I am no lawyer,' responded my new acquaintance, and cannot answer you that question; but I will never buy anything whatever without an acknowledgment in writing. If I had made that resolve

What I say is this, if a man can't drive a gig (and he can't,

in nine cases out of ten), how can he drive a pair, and much more tandem-why, it's out of the question, bless you; one wife is one too many. From Notes of his Conversation.

a year ago, I should not now be riding in an omnibus, but in my own carriage.'

'Explain yourself,' said I; 'I am all attention.' "You must know, then, that this time twelvemonth I was heir-presumptive of Morgan Ap Holog, the celebrated Welsh carcass-butcher; you can scarcely fail to have heard of him, I reckon.'

I was not only ignorant of the reputation of the gentleman referred to, but I had the most indefinite notion of what a carcass-butcher might be. A butcher who is not a carcass-butcher, thought I, must surely sell exceedingly fresh meat: but I concealed my doubts, and nodded assentingly, as though one who had never known of Mr Ap Holog must be himself unknown indeed.

Uncle Ap, as I used to call him, had a liking for me, sir, above all his nephews: some said it was because of my merits, and others that it was owing to the fact, that he saw a good deal of my cousins, who lived in Wales like himself, and very little of myself, who lived in London; but, at all events, it was not for me to discourage his good-will. On the contrary, I felt it to be my duty to make him as tender as his mutton, and to leave nothing undone which might cause him to "cut up well" in my favour. He was very old and ailing, and the attentions of his relatives, as is usual in such cases, were unremitting. Personal service in my case was out of the question, and yet it was necessary that I should do something to exhibit my affection. Under these circumstances, I made Uncle Ap a present of a handsome clock. handsome, but I am bound to say that it was not dear: its cheapness, in fact, first attracted me-its beauty grew upon me afterwards. Some persons may think it was not a suitable offering to lay at the feet of an expiring carcass-butcher and, indeed, I did hesitate between it and a second-hand accordion, for a considerable time. It may be urged that a clock was the last thing that should have been given to one whose account with time was about to close for ever; that you might as well offer a man a case of cigars upon his marriage-day, or a free ticket (for one) to Her Majesty's Theatre; but I had my reasons, nevertheless, and I sent Uncle Ap the clock.

It was

To say he was pleased, is to give a feeble idea of the old gentleman's satisfaction: such a consummate work of art had probably never reached the Principality before. It was bought in Wardour Street; but where it was made, I cannot imagine. A cuckoo clock would have been a wonder at Aberystdoverm, but in this timepiece there was a whole aviary of mechanical birds, besides a peacock with twelve feathers in his tail, who came out at noon, and screamed. The contemplation of it is said to have added months to Uncle Ap's existence, which, before the arrival of this gift, had been rather destitute of objects of interest. He could not read by reason of a defective education; and even if it had been otherwise, there is, I believe, no Welsh literature except prophecies and mystic ballads, such as would have had little interest for a respectable carcass-butcher. English he did not understand, even sufficiently to discriminate between the genders or the parts of speech; and when he wanted to express a wish for liquor, he would murmur: "Her is dry."

'I bought the clock, and paid for it over the counter, directing the shopman to send it to Mr Ap Holog's address, which a letter of acknowledgment from Aberystdoverm soon informed me had been done. I naturally thought that the transaction was thus completed. Conceive, then, my confusion, sir, when not long afterwards I received a second communication from my uncle's amanuensis (a malignant second-cousin), which ran as follows: "Your uncle,

Ap Holog, desires me to forward to you the enclosed account. He cannot imagine but that you intended to make him a present of the timepiece in question; if otherwise, however, he will himself have no

objection to make the very reasonable outlay demanded by Messrs Veneer and Dodge."

I

The bill for the clock accompanied this epistle. had taken no receipt on purchasing it, nor was it my custom to do so, at establishments where my name and address were unknown. I forgot, however, that in this case I could be reached by a swindling tradesman (as had now happened) at second-hand. The fraud, it is true, was but to a small amount, but herein lay the most unfortunate part of the business. You will easily imagine, sir, that I am not the man to tell a falsehood, but still I had rather led my uncle to suppose that that time-piece was not bought for nothing. His ignorance of the arts had led him to put a fabulous price upon the gift, and I had not disabused him of that error. There was no harm, I suppose, in his picturing to himself an affectionate nephew, who had denied himself every personal gratification, in order to secure for his aged and ailing relative an invaluable article of vertu. Uncle Ap had now, however, become acquainted with the actual amount of pounds, shillings, and pence expended, and the knowledge thereof had evidently not given him pleasure.

'My connection by the mother's side with Wales has given me a somewhat hasty temper, and I put myself into a pretty passion when I got my cousin's letter; my connection by the father's side with England has endowed me with the strongest determination not to be imposed upon, and I resolved that Messrs Veneer and Dodge should never get money twice over for that clock from me. I wrote them a letter explaining the circumstances as they had actually happened, and appending a few comments, which were not perhaps of a conciliatory character. From a wish not to be personally mixed up with a dispute of this nature, I signed myself A. B., and requested the expected apology to be addressed to the post-office. Messrs Veneer and Dodge did not apologise. They reiterated their desire to be paid twice over, and accompanied it with threats. A. B., in reply, secure in his impalpability, indulged in withering satire. Then Messrs Veneer and Dodge adopted a device from the brute creation; as certain animals, when in search of prey, will sometimes feign to be dead, in order more surely to secure their victims, so this respectable firm pretended to die in a commercial sense. They declared themselves to be bankrupts, and appointed an official assignee to continue their correspondence for them.

'Matters having thus assumed a serious character, where villany must be met by its match, I consulted an attorney. Having become possessed of all the facts, this gentleman shook his head, and asked whether, in the event of the case going to the County Court, my Uncle Ap Holog would appear to give evidence respecting the letter in which I had given him notice of the dispatch of the gift. The judge would have to weigh my oath against that of some hireling of the Messrs Veneer and Dodge, and the least collateral testimony would be most valuable. "Uncle Ap a witness!" cried I; "why, he has been bedridden for a twelvemonth."

"But could not some relative of his be summoned to swear to the receipt of the letter in question?

He might be summoned," said I, "but he wouldn't come. The law is by no means so powerful in the Principality as it is in Westminster; and if he did come, he would be sure to witness dead against me." "Are you a freemason?" inquired the attorney abruptly.

"Yes," said I; "but why do you ask? Are you a lunatic?"

"I ask because, if Messrs Veneer and Dodge are freemasons likewise, they may acknowledge their I have known this happen in similar cases more than once. Some persons will not listen to reason or justice, who will yet pay every attention

error.

to the same arguments, when urged by a gentleman with his thumb to his nose, and his fingers in a mystic attitude."

"Having acknowledged this compliment to the society of freemasons all over the world, I informed the attorney that the parties in question were not of the Brotherhood. Then," said he, "you had better pay the money over again."

66

I made up six-and-eightpence by means of as many coppers as I could, and having presented it to the man of law, dismissed him.

For an entire week, I received no more threatening missives, and began to imagine that all fraudulent proceedings were now abandoned. At the expiration of that period'-here my stout companion's voice became well-nigh choked with emotion-' I received this, sir-this.' He extracted from a side-pocket a worn and dirty envelope, and placed it in my hands. It bore the post-mark of Aberystdoverm; within it was a receipted bill for L.3, 19s. 114d., and a letter written in such a hand as when a field of leeks bows all its stalks before the waving east.'

'Read it,' ejaculated my companion, and then tell me if I am not the most unfortunate dog in Christendom.'

'My dear sir,' said I, 'there is no time. Yonder is the railway-station for which I am bound.' 'Well, then, listen,' cried he, and may my sad case be a warning to a fellow-creature.'

'Mr Morgan Ap Holog begs to forward the enclosed receipted bill for the timepiece, and is happy to find himself thereby relieved of obligation. The clock has stopped for a considerable period, but Mr Ap H. detects no immediate signs of his own dissolution. It would have been better, he conceives, to have given a little more money for a little more time.'

'And what did the old gentleman mean by that observation?'

'He meant this, sir, that Messrs Veneer and Dodge had reapplied to him instead of me, and had had the indelicacy to set forth the details of the transaction between us. They had pleaded, as an additional aggravation to my not having paid them (twice over), that I had got the clock at a great bargain; and as for its having stopped so early (which, it seems, had been complained of by my uncle), I had bought it very cheap, upon the express understanding, that it should be warranted only for two months certain, since the person for whose use it was intended could not possibly live over that period. The whole estate of Aberystdoverm,' added my companion, dropping a tear upon me, as I slowly descended from the omnibusbox by help of the strap, has passed into native hands by reason of that unreceipted bill.'

FEATHERS.

ALL nature ministers to man; all creatures are his purveyors. The winds that blow, the showers that fall, the sun that shines-all are means to his comfort. He has dominion over the beasts of the forest, the fish of the sea, and the fowls of the air. It is with this last order of creation that we have now to do.

Beautiful in every variety of colour and size, from the humming-bird, flitting through the sunshine of the tropics, to the kingly eagle of the north, from the ostrich of the desert to the lark of the English meadow, birds are among the fairest marvels of a world of beauty, and they have this above many other creatures, that not only do they while living charm our sight by their shape, and our sense by their song, but when dead, they adorn us with their clothing. They pour the thrill of melody in streams which make glad the hope of youth, and cheer the feebleness of age; and when they yield to the universal conqueror, their plumage lends beauty to man's rejoicing, and majesty to his grief. Their