you'll see the mob as bitter at them o' the country's government. The as they are this day at the Tories. lairds hae held their heads ower They speak about the people govern- high, pretending to look down upon ing themsells. Lord help them! If us citizens, because we dinna blaw by the people they mean the weavers about a pedigree, which is dead o' Slockendrouth and sic-like, a bonny men's names; or as if the possession government it wad be! I'm an auld of a wheen ill-wrought acres, that man now, and I hae seen something brings up mair dockens than wheat, o' the world, and my belief is that was better than bank shares, money the Tories are no sae bad as they are in the Funds, or may be heritable called, and the Whigs no sae good as securities. I dinna pretend to greatthey aye pretend to be. There are ness, but there is ane of our lairds some o' the best gentlemen in the who wadna thole to be seen walking country, and the kindest to their wi' the like o' me on the planestanes, tenantry, down yonder at the Mason's that I could roup out o' house and Arms; and it's no a right thing that hame, if it were my pleasure to gie they should be hooted at by a parcel the word. It's no the land that will o' blackguards, ilk ane o' whom, if rule the roast nowadays, nor the he had his deserts, wad get aff cheap lawyers either; and that will be seen wi' a month on the treadmill." afore lang. But for a' that we canna want the land, and we canna want the law; and a' that I seek-and it wad be better for them if they did it o' their ain free-will-is that the gentry would tak' down their pride a peg or twa, and consort wi' us townsfolk, and that we should be a' ae man's bairns. But it will never do to let the scum get to the top o' the kettle. Na, na! I'm for nane o' your mobrule, or Radical ascendancy. I hae seen enough o' that already to serve me for the rest o'my born days." I was hardly prepared for this outburst of sentiment on the part of the Bailie, and, I suppose, betrayed some surprise in my countenance, for he continued: "Maybe, Maister Sinclair, ye wonder to hear an auld Reformer speaking that way; for an auld Reformer I am, and will be to the end o'the chapter. The Tories are no wise in their ain generation, for they hae ridden the country wi' ower tight a curb, and they dinna see that a new order o' things has risen up amongst us. It's trade, sir-trade and commerce that has made this country what it is, and will make it greater yet; and it's no to be supposed that the men who make the country's wealth will submit to be keepit out I expressed my curiosity to know what the experiences were which had made so marked an impression on the respectable Mr M'Chappie ; and he, no doubt pleased at having an auditor entirely to himself, gave vent to the following narrative. CHAPTER VII.—THE BAILIE'S VISIT TO PARIS "Ye maun understand, my lad, that it was no much farther back than a year ago, about the middle o' the summer, when it was minted that there was to be an election in the county; sae there was the usual stramash and hurry, folks riding and running, agents working day and night, and promises fleein' about amang the voters as fast as doos in a field o' pease. Nae doubt our friend Mr Shearaway was in the very thick of it; for he's a lang-headed chield, and a canny, and that empty bladder, the Marquis, wad be sair put to it without him. Weel, sir, ae night as I was sitting down quietly to my supper-for I aye like to hae something tasty, such as a Welsh rabbit or a Finnan haddock, before I mix my tumbler-up rattles a post-chaise to my door, bang goes the knocker, and in comes the lass wi' a letter from Mr Shearaway, telling me that I was wanted instantly in Edinburgh on important business, and that I wasna to lose an hour in coming. I was unco laith to move, for it's enough to try the patience of a saint to be disturbed at supper-time; but needs must when the deil drives, and the deil is aye great at elections; sae I telled them to put up a change o' things in a sma' pockmanty-for I had a kind o' a misgiving that I mightna get hame sac soon as I could wish-took a hasty mouthfu' and a dram, and stepped into the postchaise. "Awa' I whisks to Edinburgh, sleeping as I best could the hale road, never stopping but for ten minutes at Whitburn, where the whisky was awfu' bad, the fire out, and nae loafsugar in the house. It was early day when I got to Edinburgh; but early as it was, there I fand Mr Shearaway up and busy as a bee. My certie! he's no the man to let grass grow at his heels. "Come awa', Bailie,' says he, 'I hae a bit job for you ayont the ordinar. It's a kittle cast, but you're the man to do it.' "It will be something about the election, nae doubt?' says I. "Ye needna be a warlock to guess that,' quoth he, but ye have a warlock's errand before ye; for, man, ye maun cross the sea.' "Where to?' says I-'to Fife?' "Fife!' says he,' d'ye think I am sending ye to Cupar? Na, Bailie; ye maun first to London, and then to Paris.' "Paris!' says I; 'losh keep us, that's in foreign parts, and in a Papish country! What would the like o' me do in Paris?' "That's just what I am going to tell you about,' says he. 'Auld Dubity of Switherhaugh, who has voted twice on the Grimalkin side, lives in Paris; and there's something that I ken o', and that he kens weel, that would render it vera inconvenient for him to show himself in Scotland at this time. I may just hint to ye that it's a Justiciary matter. Now, we want a discreet man to go over and persuade him that he had better, for his ain sake, bide where he is; and that if he does that, and makes nae words about it, we'll see whether we canna get a commission for his third son to India. I doubt not that a wink will be as good as a nod to him, for the Switherhaughs were aye a slippery set, but it wadna do to break it to him by a letter. It's a delicate kind of business, so we have pitched on you as the fittest man to carry it through. The election this time will be a neck-and-neck affair; and, according to my calculation, if we can keep Dubity out of the way, we are sure to win.' 66 6 'But, dear me, Mr Shearaway,' says I, 'how am I to win my way to Paris? I canna speak a word o' French.' "Nonsense!' says he; 'everybody on the road speaks English; ye wad be får worse off in Aberdeen. Here are the letters for ye, with a note of directions, and there's a cheque on the Bank of Scotland for your expenses. Ye may spend it all if ye like, for no reckoning will be asked; and if auld Dubity does not appear at the election, there will be a handsome fee forthcoming for your trouble.' "I took the cheque. It was for a bonny sum-three figures, I can tell you; and what mortal man could resist that? I was to get a trip to foreign parts for naething, with the pleasant prospect of a handsome handsel to boot. "I'll do your bidding, Mr Shearaway,' says I, 'and when am I to start?' "For London, by this afternoon's steamer,' says he; and from that to Paris as hard as ye can drive. So good-luck attend ye.' "Weel,' thought I as I gaed up the Mound to the bank to get the cheque cashed, 'siller maun be unco plenty amang the Carrabases to gar them spend it in sic gates; but that's no business o' mine." "In a word, I got the cash and was aff to London that afternoon. Sair sick I was, to be sure; for the wind was in the eastward, and when we got to a place that they ca'ed Flamborough, I thought that my haill inside wad hae gane into the ocean. But what wi' nips o' brandy, and ae thing and anither, I got ower the warst of it, arrived in London, and in twa days after that I had landed in France. Here I soon found that Mr Shearaway was clean wrang about the accomplishments of the foreigners. At the very first house I came to, I says to the waiter after dinner-and it was the first word I had spoken, for I just took whatever meat they put down, keeping aye a bring me a tumb jealous look that it wasna frogs or sic-like abomination. "Lad,' says I, ler o' toddy and a ladle." "I wish ye had seen the creature's face. He was mair like a puzzled cockatoo than a 'sponsible Christian. "Sare,' says he, 'I spike Inglis.' "Spike the deevil,' says I, but bring me my toddy!' "Ye will hardly believe it, but there were twa Englishers there at the table d'hôte, as they ca' it, who didna seem to understand me any better than the Frenchman, but I made the best fend of it I could with cauld brandy-and-water, and set aff in the diligence, which is the French name for the stage-coach, to Paris. I dinna mind much about the road, except that the wine was sour, and the vivers rather queer; but I was wakened out of a sound nap by the bawling of a chield they ca'ed the conductor, on the top of the diligence, by which I understood that we were coming near to the great city of Paris. Now, as I had been informed that we would be stopped at the gates for examination of the luggage and siclike, the French folk being sic inveterate smugglers and rogues that a son would cheat his ain father, I thought it right to gather myself up; 'for, thinks I, 'as linen is scarce in these parts, wha kens but they may take a fancy to my shirts?' But when we came to the ports, no a soul was there, not even a policeman. They were standing wide open, the guard-house was clean deserted; and for aught I could see, the great city of Paris might have been as empty as Edinburgh in the hinder end of August, when the grass grows thick in the squares, and the only living things ye encounter are a wean niffering a bawbee for grosarts wi' an auld woman at a stall. But for a' that, it was evident that something by ordinar was ga'en on inside; for cannon began to bang, no as our folk fire, regular and precisely, on the King's birth-day, but clap after clap, as if the guns had been doublebarrelled, and whiles I thought I could hear a kind of roar, maist terrible and gruesome, like the backdraught of a mighty sea. The French folk that were wi' me in the diligence began to cock their lugs, and to look queer; and I heard them jabbering to ane anither in a quick, raised, jerky kind o' way but what it was they said I couldna understand, for I hae nae knowledge o' their purley VOOS. Weel-on gaed the coach, the sound o' the cannon aye growing louder and louder, and very soon it was mingled with a brattling that I kent to be the discharge of musketry; and I said to mysel', though I canna assert that I was altogether without misgivings, Nae doubt it will be a military review; and the folk that should hae lookit after the gate will hae gane in to see the ploy !' But, my certie! it wasna lang afore I fand out my error; for nae sooner did we turn a corner than the diligence was beset by twa or three hundred blacka-vised scoundrels, maist o' them in blue shirts aboon their other claes; and in a jiffy they had cut the traces, ta'en away the horses, and signed to us passengers to come out. The Frenchmen that were inside spanged like puddocks out of a pail o' het water, but deil a bit would I budge without my pockmanty. Then they tried to pu' me out, neck and heels, but I made fecht wi' my umbrella, and gaed a chield a paik below the ribs that doubled him up like a carpenter's rule. Sae they just let me sit where I was, drawing the diligence broadside to the street; and in twa minutes' time they had jammed it in wi' carts, auld barrels filled wi' paving-stanes, and mony other kinds o' lumber, sae that a cat could hardly hae cruppen out; and an unco terror came over me, for I thought they were going to bury me alive. But that was a vain imagination; for presently I hears a loud skelloch among the blackguards that were scrambling on the top, and down they slid like spiders; and then I saw, what in the perturbation of my mind I hadna observed at first, that ilka ane o' them had a gun, and a gay wheen o' them baygonets stuck into the muzzle. Now, if there is ae thing I detest mair than anither, it is the sight of a gun, for I have been a peaceful man a' my days, and never handled powther since I was a laddie at school, and burnt my fingers with a pluff; sae ye may wcel imagine what was my state o' mind when the vagabonds began to take aim as it were through the windows o' the diligence, and me sitting inside! I looked up the street to see if there was ony chance of escape in that direction, for I felt as if I could have fled for refuge to the uttermost parts of the earth; but what think ye I saw there? Naething less than a hail regiment o' soldiers charging down upon me! I had just time to clap down on the floor, and was beginning to say a bit o' a prayer, when pash gaed ae bullet clean through the wood-work, and then a perfect volley; and I fand that I was in the very centre of what they call a barricade, that the soldiers and the mob were fighting, and that I lay between their shots. How lang that lasted I canna say, for I clean lost my judgment and my senses. I hae a kind o' indistinct recollection that I howled like a pointer dog tied up in a strange stable, and tried to cover myself up wi' the straw that was lying in the bottom o' the coach, but I ken naething mair; and when I came to mysel' the firing was done, and maist feck o' the mob had disappeared. They telt me afterwards that the soldiers had been defeated at that barricade, and sure enough there were a hantle o' them, puir chields! lying dead and bloody in the streets; but I caredna which had the better, sae that I could make my escape out of that accursed coach. Sae, finding that the firing was over, I lifted up my head, and gave a halloo that might be heard the hail length of the Trongate of Glasgow. Presently it was answered; and after muckle wark, twa ill-looking rogues, wi' knives in their belts, whom I jaloused to be butchers, got the door open, and harled me out. Thankful I was to heaven for that blessed deliverance; and no a little glad, moreover, to find my pockmanty, though there were nae less than three holes in it. I may tell ye that, afterwards, when I came hame, I found a bullet sticking in ane o' my folded shirts, just at the place where my breast would have been if I had it on, which I could not regard as other than a special providence. But what was I to do next? I could have found my way as readily through the great city of Nineveh as through Paris. I couldna speak a word o French, nor could I make any Frenchman understand me-a' the doors were steeked, and the very window-shutters closed; and nae wonder, for when bullets are fleeing about, the best place for a sensible man is the cellar. Sae I bethought me that I wad apply to the twa men that had helped me out o' the coach; for though my tongue was in a manner useless, and indeed clove to the roof of my mouth, I kent that there was a language common to all mankind, and that is the clink o' siller. Sae, in my haste, I put my hand into my pouch, and pulled out a wheen franc pieces, that are just like our ain shillings, without observing that there were twa or three coins o' solid gowd amang them; and these I offered to the Frenchmen, signifying at the same time, by thrawing my face and pointing wi' my thumb, that I would be glad to be lodged, wi' my pockmanty, in a place where I might be safe, and also get something to drink, for I was amaist choked wi' an awful thirst. Nae sooner did they see the siller than they leugh like mad. 'Ahi!' quo' ane o' them; and he whips up my pockmanty; and the other chieldhe was a desperate-looking ruffian that!-takes haud o' me by the arm and awa' we set, up ae street, and down anither, till we cam' to the maist blackguard bit in a town that I ever saw in my born days. Lord kens, some of the closes in Edinburgh are bad enough, and there are wynds in Glasgow whereof the stench would scunner a sow, but nane o' these were sae fearsome as that back-court in Paris, the very walls of which seemed to reek with the filthiness of abomination. When I saw it, I felt as if I could have parted wi' my pockmanty to be back again in the broad street where the diligence was; for though bullets are bad, butchers' knives are muckle waur. The ane may not happen to hit, as I kenned by recent experience; but the ither, when applied to a man's thrapple, will go through it as readily as through cheese. In a word, I began to see that I had louped out of the frying-pan into the fire; but I was fairly in the grip of the Philistines, and had nae help for it but to go on. "They took me into a side-entry, and then half led, half drove me down a stair into a laigh_room, wherein there was nae furnishings but three auld chairs and a broken table. A fearfu' den it was, wi' stains on the wa's that might hae been blude, only it was impossible to see clearly, for the only light came through a single pane up near the ceiling, that was as thick incrusted wi' dirt as though it had been smeared wi' treacle. The sight of it made me grue, and I felt as if cauld water had been poured down my back, and a red-hot wire rammed up my spine; for I couldna help thinking of the murder-hole of Burke and Hare. Weel, ane o' the men-he was the lad that carried my pockmanty, and though far frae bonny, wasna just sae ill-looking as his neighboursigns to me to sit down, which I did; and then he cries out Jean!' I was hopeful when I heard that, for the warst limmer amang the lasses has aye some kind o' human feelingthat is, when a man is concerned, for they'll no stick at pyking out the e'en of their ain sex-but instead of a lass, in comes an awesome carle wi' red hair and a hunchback, and teeth like the tusks o' a boar. 'It's a' ower wi' me now!' thinks I; ‘Lord forgie me my sins, and Mr Shearaway for sending me on sic a fule's errand! I might have got some mercy from the other twa, for after they had stripped me to the sark, maybe they wad hae let me gang; but if ever man was a murderer, it's that redheaded limb o' Satan!' "But they didna just proceed to extremities; for after a deal of jabbering, the man they called Jean gaed out at a back-door, and presently came ben, bearing with him a bottle and twa mugs, at the sight whereof I was somewhat comforted, for it was on my mind that he had gone to look for a hatchet, or some such implement of destruction. Still I did not consider that as equivalent to an assurance of safety to life, but only as a kind o' short reprieve. For,' thinks I, 'maist probably they intend to do the job cannily, and without a kick-up; sae they'll hocus the drink, tie me up in a sack, and when its dark fling me into the river.' However, to do the loons justice, they didna try to make me drink onything but what they took themsells; for ane o' them filled the mugs out o' the bottle, and took a good swig of it before I tasted mine. It was a white kind o' wine, unco wersh and fushionless, but no a' thegither unpalatable to a man wha was perishing wi' thirst. Then the man Jean made a sign that I couldna interpret otherwise than as a demand for payment; whereupon, thinking it best, under sic circumstances, to be liberal, I tendered him a five-franc piece, but he shook his head, and frowned, as much as to say that it wasna enough, sae I had to gie him another crown, which was an awful price surely for a bottle o' drink no muckle stronger than sma' beer. Wï' that he seemed contented; sae I, thinking they might maybe let me out now that they had gotten something, raise up, and was about to lift my pockmanty, when ane o' the chields takes me by the twa shouthers, and makes me sit down, pointing to the bottle, which was now empty, as much as to say-'Deil a bit o' you stirs frae this house till we hae anither chopin.' What could I do? They had me fairly at their will, sae I even made a virtue o'necessity, and signed to Jean for a second bottle, which he made nae difficulty about bringing, for it's my notion he had seldom sic a customer, and I had to gie him ither ten francs, which he pouched wi' a kind o' keckle. "Weel-that bottle lasted nae time, and I thought they wad be ettling for a third; but it seems that they had made up their minds to clean me out in another way; for ane o' them pulls out a pack o' playing-cards-sair dirty they were too and says something to me about a Jew. "Jew?' says I; 'Na, friend, ye are clean mistaken in that! I am nae Jew, but a decent Christian frae Slockendrouth, that ye may hae heard tell o'; and if ye will bring me to ony respectable inn or lodging-house-for I wad be laith if Mr Jean was to have ony mair trouble on my account-I'll gie you and that other |