Bank side Temple Bar-but before I could take my place, I was addressed by one of the passengers.

"Be steady, sir; look at the brass pendulum-the regulator, sir; don't you perceive it inclines to this side already; you can't sit on this side, sir; but the ladies opposite will accommodate you, otherwise our lives will be jeopardized."

“Oh, sit at this side, sir-sit here, sir!" squalled the said ladies; and I got seated at last.

"You don't understand the fly-boat, sir," said the last speaker, addressing me again; "but before you get through the next double lock, you'll be wide awake, as I am, to the danger of-

"Oh, is there any danger?" said a bilious little woman at my side.

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Why, for my own part, I never like to alarm people-I hate that; but, when accidents will happen in the best regulated families, why not in this very irregular ?"

"Oh, queen of heaven! we're upside down!" exclaimed a very fat woman, as the boat jarred suddenly against the towing-path, and glanced under a bridge.

"Be calm, be resigned, Mrs. Doolan; keep your eyes upon me, and when you see me bolt through this window, it will be time enough for you to follow my example.”

"But you're such a brave man, Mr. Malone-I declare I feel as weak as water."

Try a drop of the native, Mrs. Doolan; I see you have a bottle in your lap.”

"Ah, fie for shame, Mr. Malone!—it's only a sup of bitters I carry for my daughter, poor thing!"

"Well, Mrs. Doolan, you must take a glass of stout with me." Thus saying, Mr. Malone rang the bell,

got a bottle of Guinness and two tumblers. His good example was followed by the rest of the passengers ; and some excellent bread and cheese was laid on the board. Mr. Malone seemed to be the master-spirit of the passengers: he was one of those reckless rough diamonds, from which the sensitive recoil-a nice man for a small party, some six feet three in his shoes, big boned, and clumsily built. His countenance was not the most prepossessing in the world, though adorned with a rich profusion of carbuncles, abruptnosed, wide-mouthed, beetle-browed, long-visaged, sandy-haired. He thought he was a perfect Adonis ; in a white hat with crape, and a full suit of black ; so, at the ripe age of fifty-four, he gave himself the airs of twenty-four. Emboldened with the double X he had swallowed, he made every one in the boat-his own precious self always excepted-uncomfortable, pulled a crumpled newspaper from his pocket; and, to the great annoyance of a very quiet old clergyman and romantic young lady, who had books, the fellow began to read aloud, pro bono publico, as he said, the prices current of the Dublin Market note-Alum, Alders, Antimony, Butters, Corks, Carlows, per Cool, Bacon, Bees-wax, Hides, Leather, calf, sole ditto, kips; Lead, white, black, pig; Liquorice, Lemon-juice, Lard, bladdered, bleached; Raisins, muscatel, sun, in casks; Skins, goats, sheep, kids." Goss-Here the clergyman laid down his book, and calmly entreated Mr. Malone to read to himself.

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Why should I?" was the polite reply-" why should I be so selfish as to monopolize all the news to myself?"

"Excuse me, sir," replied the other-" I, for one---and I think I may answer for this young lady,--we are

very little interested in the news you have just been reading; it may be news to you, but defend me from such news!"

you

"Upon my word, I'll venture to say, that the ladies and gentlemen would rather listen to my price-current than to your dry sermon, parson; but since request it, I'll put up my paper. Now, then, are you satisfied? I make it a rule never to make any man uncomfortable. I was just getting into the births, deaths, and marriages; but no matter."

Mr. Malone now favoured us with an account of his visit to his landlord, who had just returned from the Continent, where he had resided for many years, married a woman old enough to be his mother, and that ceremony being performed, returned to his country castle in Ireland, where Mr. Malone found him doing the great man.

"His lordship," said Mr. Malone, "is a slight, fairhaired young man, something like you, sir," turning to a gentleman, who blushed to the ears with pleasure, and said

"Like me, sir? How curious!"

"Yes, sir, like you, and not two removes from a fool,—the greatest ass in existence. But her ladyship, she's a duke's daughter, they say; yes, positively, she is the very picture of that lady near the door." "O, indeed, sir, you flatter me!" said the lady.

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Yes, madam, her ladyship is a stout, red-faced punchy old woman."

The poor lady did not look so flattered.

Hitherto I had escaped from the lash of this Goliath, but now it was my turn to enter the lists with him. He heard me speaking about land to one my neighbours, an intelligent Scot, who had a large

of

farm on the banks of the canal, and clasping his hands together, and leaning forward upon his elbows on the board, Mr. Malone looked up and down the cabin, smirking and winking, as he inquired, "Why we got on so slowly with the survey."

I could not pretend to answer that question, especially as I did not understand what survey the gentle

man meant.

"General survey, of course," was his reply. "I was not connected with

"Poh! tell me you're not a land-surveyor ?" No, sir, I am not."

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Humph!" grunted Mr. Malone, looking very serious and austere. "In my younger days-and I'm not very old-it was the custom for every man to say what he was, like a man ; no dandy clerks passed themselves off as officers upon the natives. I didn't say you were a clerk nor an officer, sir; but I premise"

"Humph! Bagsmen formerly, in the good old times, absolutely carried a bag; yes, a bag of patterns and samples, Mrs. Doolan; tea and sugar, Mrs. Hopkins; shewed their wares, and asked orders on all occasions, Miss Prike; now, hoity toity! the bagsman is a traveller, if you please--carries a book. I'll trouble you for your book of patterns, sir."

"Sir," said I, "I have no book of patterns."

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Humph! call it a book of prints; your book of prints, sir," persevered Mr. Malone.

"I have no book of prints, sir."

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Humph! in the tea line, I suppose. I dare say you could give us a hint about bohea. Now, here sit three ladies, I know, going to lay in stock-good

opportunity for you-shew your samples-open your case-do a little business-I'll help you. What say you, Mrs. Quade, shall we look at this gentleman's samples ?"

Mrs. Quade replied, with a toss of her head, "Indeed, she preferred piercing a chest at Kinahan's."

"But consider this young man, and his most respectable house-his hyson, and fine black and green, his flowery pekoe, and—

"I beg your pardon, sir,” said I, not relishing the jest at all; "I am not a mercantile traveller."

"Humph! I remember the time, and it's not very long ago-it was a troublesome time, sir-last rebellion, sir-when, as officer of the Merchant Yeomanry Cavalry, it was my duty to arrest every suspicious character; and though I have retired from business, bought a farm, and the corps is broken up, yet I feel an inclination to resume my authority whenever I smell the air of my native city. Yes, sir, I once arrested a very suspicious character in a canalboat."

"Oh, for love of the Vargin, don't proceed to extremities," squalled the nervous Mrs. Doolan.

"Mrs. Doolan, be calm-keep your eye upon me; if you see me produce-(putting his hand into his waistcoat)-a warrant

"I'll faint, I'll faint, Mr. Malone; you're not in earnest, but you look so savage."

"You grow complimentary, Mrs. Doolan-savage! I flatter myself no lamb could be more peaceably inclined, nor look more sweetly."

Then you do flatter yourself, Mr. Malone; you ought to be ashamed of yourself, so you ought—fright