born out of a difcarded ftatefman's head, and thence delivered to be nurfed and dandled by the rabble. Sometimes it is produced a monfter, and licked into fhape: at other times it comes into the word completely formed, and is spoiled in the licking. It is often born an infant in the regular way, and requires time to mature it; and often it fees the light in its full growth, but dwindles away by degrees. Sometimes it is of noble birth; and sometimes the spawn of a stock-jobber. Here it screams-aloud at the opening of the womb; and there it is delivered with a whisper. I know a lie, that now disturbs half the kingdom with its noise, which, although too proud and great at present to own its parents, I can remember its whisper-hood. To conclude the nativity of this monster; when it comes into the world without a fting, it is stillborn; and whenever it lofes its fting, it dies. No wonder if an infant fo miraculous in its birth, fhould be destined for great adventures; and accordingly we fee it has been the guardian spirit of a prevailing party, for almost twenty years. It can conquer kingdoms without fighting, and fometimes with the lofs of a battle. It gives and refumes employments; can fink a mountain to a mole-hill, and raise a mole-hill to a mountain ; has prefided for many years at committees of elections; can wafh a black-moor white; make a faint of an atheist, and a patriot of a profligate; can furnish foreign minifters with intelligence, and raife or ler fall the credit of the nation. This goddess flies with a huge looking-glafs in her 3 hands, hands, to dazzle the croud, and make them fee, according as the turns it, their ruin in their interest, and their intereft in their ruin. In this glass you will behold your beft friends, clad in coats powdered with fleurs de lis, and triple crowns; their girdles hung round with chains, and beads and wooden fhoes; and your worst enemies, adorned with the enfigns of liberty, property, indulgence, moderation, and a cornucopia in their hands. Her large wings, like thofe of a flying fish, are of no use but while they are moist; fhe therefore dips them in mud, and foaring aloft fcatters it in the eyes of the multitude, flying with great fwiftness; but at every turn is forced to ftoop in dirty ways for new fupplies. I have been fometimes thinking, if a man had the art of the fecond fight for feeing lies, as they have in Scotland for feeing fpirits, how admirably he might entertain himself in this town, by obferving the different fhapes, fizes, and colours of thofe fwarms of lies, which buzz about the heads of fome people, like flies about a horfe's ears in fummer; or thofe legions hovering every afternoon in Exchange-alley, enough to darken the air; or over a club of difcontented grandees, and thence fent down in cargoes to be scattered at elections. There is one effential point, wherein a political liar differs from others of the faculty; that he ought to have but a fhort memory, which is neceffary, according to the various occafions he meets with every hour of differing from himself, and fwearing to both fides of a contradiction, as he finds the perfons difpofed with whom he has to deal. In defcribing the virtues and vices of mankind, it is convenient, upon every article, to have fome eminent person in our eye, from whom we copy our description. I have ftrictly obferved this rule; and my imagination this minute reprefents before me a certain great man* famous for this talent, to the conftant practice of which, he owes his twenty years reputation of the moft skilful head in England, for the management of nice affairs. The fuperiority of his genius confifts in nothing else, but an inexhauftible fund of political lies, which he plentifully diftributes every minute he fpeaks, and by an unparalleled generofity forgets, and confequently contradicts, the next half hour. He never yet confidered, whether any propofition were true or falfe, but whether it were convenient for the prefent minute or company, to affirm or deny it; fo that if you think fit to refine upon him, by interpreting every thing he fays, as we do dreams, by the contrary, you are still to feek, and will find yourself equally deceived whether you believe or not the only remedy is to suppose, that you have heard fome inarticulate founds, without any meaning at all; and befides, that will take off the horror you might be apt to conceive at the oaths, wherewith he perpetually tags both ends of every propofition; although at the fame time, I think, he cannot with any justice be taxed with perjury, when,he invokes God and Chrift; because * The first earl of Wharton. he he has often fairly given public notice to the world, that he believes in neither. Some people may think, that fuch an accomplishment as this, can be of no great ufe to the owner, or his party, after it has been often prac tifed and is become notorious; but they are widely mistaken. Few lies carry the inventor's mark, and the most prostitute enemy to truth, may spread a thousand without being known for the author: befides, as the vileft writer has his readers, fo the greatest liar has his believers: and it often happens, that if a lie be believed only for an hour, it has done its work, and there is no farther occasion for it. Falfhood flies, and truth comes limping after it; fo that when men come to be undeceived, it is too late; the jeft is over, and the tale has had its effect like a man, who has thought of a good repartee, when the difcourfe is changed, or the company parted; or like a physician, who has found out an infallible medicine, after the patient is dead. Confidering that natural difpofition in many men to lie, and in multitudes to believe, I have been perplexed what to do with that maxim fo frequent in every body's mouth; that truth will at laft prevail. Here has this ifland of ours, for the greatest part of twenty years, lain under the influence of fuch counfels and perfons, whofe principle and intereft it was, to corrupt our manners, blind our understanding, drain our wealth, and in time destroy our conftitution both in church and ftate; and we at laft were brought to the very * brink of ruin; yet, by the means of perpetual mifrepresentations, have never been able to diftinguish between our enemies and friends. We have seen a great part of the nation's money got into the hands of those, who, by their birth, education and merit, could pretend no higher than to wear our liveries; while others, who, by their credit, quality, and fortune, were only able to give reputation and fuccefs to the Revolution, were not only laid afide as dangerous and ufelefs +, but loaden with the fcandal of Jacobites, men of arbitary principles, and penfioners to France; while truth, who is faid to lie in a well, feemed now to be buried there under a heap of stones. But I remember, it was a ufual complaint among the Whigs, that the bulk of the landed men was not in their interefts, which fome of the wifeft looked on as an ill omen; and we faw it was with the utmost difficulty, that they could preserve a majority, while the court and miniftry were on their fide, till they had learned those admirable expedients for deciding elections, and influencing diftant boroughs, by powerful motives from the city. But all this was mere force and conftraint, however upheld by moft * Were only able-by this arrangement the word, only, becomes of ambiguous meaning, and the ear is hurt by the repetition of the fame words, at the commencement of the two members of the fentence fo near each other-were only able-were not only, &c. This may be prevented by fubftituting the word, alone, in the place of the first, only; as thus- While others, who, by their credit, quality, and fortune, were alone able to give reputation and fuccefs to the Revolution, were not only laid afide,' &c. But loaden with the fcandal of Jacobites-may mean with the fcandal thrown on them by Jacobites; it should be-with the fcandal of being Jacobites, &c. VOL. III. C dextrous |