Since this "thief of the world" has made off with your bloom, And left you some score of stale years in its room- And at times, when annoy'd by the slights of mankind, And hold round the tea-urn a solemn divan. A convention of tattling-a tea party hight, Which, like meeting of witches, is brew'd up at night: Where each matron arrives, fraught with tales of surprise, With knowing suspicion and doubtful surmise; Like the broomstick whirl'd hags that appear in Macbeth, Each bearing some relic of venom or death, "To stir up the toil and to double the trouble, That fire may burn, and that caldron may bubble." When the party commences, all starch'd and all glum, They talk of the weather, their corns, or sit mum: They will tell you of cambric, of ribands, of lace, How cheap they were sold and will name you the place. They discourse of their colds, and they hem, and they cough, And complain of their servants to pass the time off; Or list to the tale of some doting mamma How her ten weeks old baby will laugh and say taa! But tea, that enlivener of wit and of soulMore loquacious by far than the draughts of the bowl, Soon unloosens the tongue and enlivens the mind, And enlightens their eyes to the faults of mankind, A "Twas thus with the Pythia, who served at the fount That flow'd near the far-famed Parnassian mount, While the steam was inhaled of the sulphuric spring Her vision expanded, her fancy took wing; By its aid she pronounced the oracular will That Apollo commanded his sons to fulfil. But alas! the sad vestal, performing the rite, Appear'd like a demon-terrific to sights E'en the priests of Apollo averted their eyes, And the temple of Delphi resounded her cries. But quitting the nymph of the tripod of yore, We return to the dames of the tea-pot once more. In harmless chit-chat an acquaintance they roast, It would stick in the throat, so they butter it first While with shrugs and surmises the toothless old dame, The wives of our cits of inferior degree Will soak up repute in a little bohea; The potion is vulgar, and vulgar the slang With which on their neighbours' defects they harangue; And by nods, innuendoes, and hints, and what not, While madam in laces and cambrics array'd, Or in gunpowder blow them in dozens all up. Ye Samquas, ye Chinquas, ye Chonquas, so free, Who discharge on our coasts your cursed quantums of tea, Oh! think, as ye waft the sad weed from your strand, Of the plagues and vexations ye deal to our land. As the Upas' dread breath, o'er the plain where it flies, Empoisons and blasts each green blade that may rise, So, wherever the leaves of your shrub find their way, The social affections soon suffer decay: Like to Java's drear waste they embarren the heart, Till the blossoms of love and friendship depart. Ah, ladies, and was it by Heaven design'd That can blot from their bosoms that tenderness true, Tis the sensitive plant, it recoils from the breath; And shrinks from the touch as if pregnant with death. How often, how often, has innocence sigh'd, Has beauty been 'reft of its honour-its pride, Has virtue, though pure as an angel of light, Been painted as dark as a demon of night, All offer'd up victims, an auto da fe, At the gloomy cabals-the dark orgies of tea! If I, in the remnant that's left me of life,.... Not nibbled, and mumbled, and put to the rack, odott Description of the powerful Army that assembled at the City of New-Amsterdam-together with the interview between Peter the Headstrong and General Von Poffenburgh; and Peter's Sentiments respecting unfortunate great Men. WHILE thus the enterprising Peter was coasting, with flowing sail, up the shores of the lordly Hudson, and arousing all the phlegmatic little Dutch settlements upon its borders, a great and puissant concourse of warriors was assembling at the city of New-Amsterdam. And here that invaluable fragment of antiquity, the Stuyvesant manuscript, is more than commonly particular; by which means I am enabled to record the illustrious host that encamped itself on the public square, in front of the fort, at present denominated the Bowling Green. In the centre then was pitched the tents of the men of battle of the Manhattoes; who, being the inmates of the metropolis, composed the life-guards of the governor. These were commanded by the valiant Stoffel Brinker hoof, who whilome had acquired such immortal fame at Oyster Bay-they displayed as a standard, a beaver rampant on a field of orange; being the arms of the province, and denoting the persevering industry, and the amphibious origin of the Nederlanders*. On their right hand might be seen the vassals of that renowned Mynheer Michael Pawt, who lorded it over the fair regions of ancient Pavonia, and the lands away south, even unto the Navesink mountainst, and was moreover patroon of Gibbet-Island. His standard was borne by his trusty squire, Cornelius Van Vorst; consisting of a huge oyster recumbent upon a sea green field; being the armorial bearings of his favourite metropolis, Communipaw. He brought to the camp a stout force of warriors, heavily armed, being each clad in ten pair of linsey woolsey breeches, and overshadowed by broad brimmed beavers, with short pipes twisted in their hatbands. These were the men who vegetated in the mud along the shores of Pavonia; being of the race of genuine copperheads, and were fabled to have sprung from oysters. At a little distance was encamped the tribe of warriors who came from the neighbourhood of Hell-Gate. These were commanded by the Suy Dams, and the Van Dams, *This was likewise the great seal of the New-Netherlands, as may still be seen in ancient records. † Besides what is related in the Stuyvesant MS. I have found mention made of this illustrious Patroon in another manuscript, which says: "De Heer (or the Squire) Michael Paw, a Dutch subject, about 10th Aug. 1630, by deed purchased Staten-Island. N.B. The same Michael Paw had what the Dutch call a colonnie at Pavonia, on the Jersey shore, opposite New-York, and his overseer, in 1636, was named Corns. Van Vorst—a person of the same name, in 1769, owned Pawles Hook, and a large farm at Pavonia, and is a lineal descendant from Van Vorst." + So called from the Navesink tribe of Indians, that inhabited these parts-at present they are erroneously denominated the Neversink, or Neversunk mountains. |