for salvation The ecstacies, which many newborn souls possess, were not mine. But if I was not lost in rapture on reflecting upon what I had escaped, I was filled with a sweet peace, a heavenly calmness, which I never can describe. The honors, applauses, and titles, of this vain world, appeared like trifles light as air. The character of Jesus appeared infinitely lovely, and I could say with the Psalmits, whom have I in heaven but thee, and there in none on earth I desire besides thee. The awful gulf I had escaped, filled me with astonishment. My gay associates were renounced, and the friends of Jesus became my dear friends. The destitute, broken state of the church at Haverhill, prevented me from openly professing my faith in Jesus; but it was a privilege, which I longed to enjoy. But alas! these seasons so precious did not long continue. Soon was I led to exclaim-0 that I were as in months past! My zeal for the causc of religion almost entirely abated; while this vain world engrossed my affections, which had been consecrated to my Redeemer. My Bible, once so lovely, was entirely neglected. Novels and romances engaged my thoughts, and hour after hour was foolishly and sinfully spent in the perusal of them. The company of Christians became, by degrees, irksome and unpleasant. I endeavored to shun them. The voice of conscience would frequently whisper, "all is not right." Many a steepless night have I passed after a day of vanity and sin. But such conflicts did not bring me home to the fold, from which, like a stray lamb, I had wan dered far away. A religion, which was intimately connected with the amusements of the world, and the friendship of those who are at enmity with God, would have suited well my depraved heart. But I knew that the religion of the Gospel was vastly different. It exalts the Creator, while it humbles the creature in the dust. "Such was my awful situation! I lived only to wound the cause of my ever blessed Savior. Weep, Oh my soul! when contemplating and recording these sins of my youth. Be astonished at the long suffering of Jehovah!-How great a God is our God! The death of a beloved parent and uncle, had but little effect on my hard heart. Though these afflictions moved my passions, they did not lead me to the Fountain of consolation. But God, who is rich in mercy, did not leave me here! He had prepared my heart to receive his grace, and he glorified the riches of his mercy, by carrying on the work. I was providentially invited to visit a friend in Newburyport. I complied with the invitation. The evening previous to my return home, I heard the Rev. Mr. Mac F. It was the 28th of June 1809. How did the truths which he delivered sink deep into my inmost soul! My past transgressions rose like great mountains before me. The most poignant anguish seized my mind; my carnal security fled; and I felt myself a guilty transgressor, naked before a holy God. Mr. B. returned with me the next day to Haverhill. Never, no, never, while memory retains her seat in my breast, shall I forget the affectionate man ner in which he addressed me. His conver sation had the desired effect. I then mad the solemn resolution, as I trust, in th strength of Jesus, that I would make a sincer dedication of my all to my Creator, both fo time and eternity. This resolution produce a caim serenity and composure to which I ha long been a stranger, How lovely the way salvation then appeared!-O how lovely wa the character of the Savior! The duty of pro fessing publicly on which side I was, now wa impressed on my mind. I came forward, an offered myself to the church; was accepte received into communion; and commemora ed, for the first time, the dying love of th blessed Jesus, August 6, 1809 This was precious season long to be remembered!the depths of sovereign grace! Eternity will t too short to celebrate the perfections of Go "HARRIET ATWOOD." To Miss F. W. of Beverly. Haverhill, Aug. 1809—Sabbath morn. "A FEW moments this sacred morning sha be devoted to my beloved Miss W. After di continuing for so long a time our correspon ence, I again address you. By the endeari title of a friend, I again attempt to lay op my heart before you. But what shall I sa Shall I tell you, that since I last saw you have made great progress in divine grace? you, my ever dear friend, will I unbosom t V finite mercy, again to call up my attention to the concerns of my soul; again to show me the evil of my ways. I have now publicly profes sed my faith in him. I have taken the vows of the covenant upon me, and solemnly surrendered myself to him, eternally, O, Miss W. should I now be left to dishonor this holy cause, what would be my eternal condemnation? O pray for me. Entreat God to hare mercy upon me, and keep me from falling After I left you at the Academy, I by degrees grew more and more neglectful of serious and eternal realities. When I review the past year of my life; when I reflect upon the wound I have brought upon the blessed religion of Jesus, I am constrained to cry, why has God extended his mercy to the vilest of the race of Adam? Why has he again showed favor to me, after I have so wickedly abused his precious invitations, and grieved his holy Spirit? It is a God, who is rich in mercy, abundant in goodness, and of great compassion, that has done these great things, as I trust for me. How can I be too much engaged for him, too much conformed to his holy will, after these vabundant manifestations of his love and mercy. O that I could spend my few remaining days as I ought, even en irely devoted to the delightful service of the dear Redeemer. Sabbath eve. I have just returned from the house of God, where I have heard two excellent sermons preached by our beloved pastor. What unspeakable privileges we enjoy! The Gospel trump is sounding in our ears, Jesus is proclaimed as "ready and willing to save alt those that come unto God by him." And why, my dear Miss W. are not these privileges taken from us, and given to the heathen, who have never heard of a Savior, and are perishing for lack of knowledge? God is indulging us with them for wise and holy ends. And it we do not estimate them according to their real -value, and improve under the calls and invitations of the Gospel, there will remain for us "no more sacrifice, but a fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation." When sitting beneath the Gospel's joyful sound, I think I can never again be careless or inattentive to religious concerns. But how soon does the world intervene between God and my soul how soon do the trifling vanities of time engross my affections. O, my dear friend, die you know the temptations, with which I an surrounded, I am confident you would pity me. and intercede for me, at the throne of grace. But I have this consolation; Jesus was tempted while on earth; he pities his tempted saints, and will surely enable them to persevere unto the end. "He knows what sore temptations mean, I long dear Miss W. to see, you. I long to Converse with you on the great importance of being really children of God. I long for your assistance while wandering in this wilderness I think, if I know my heart, I can say, I do love God, and his children. If I do not love Him if I do not love his image whenever I see it, I know not what I love. Though Providence |