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Wind horns. Enter a Lord from hunting, with a Train.

Lord. Huntsman, I charge thee, tender well my hounds,

Brach, Merriman, the poor cur is imbost';

And couple Clowder with the deep-mouth'd Brach.
Saw'ft thou not, boy, how Silver made it good
At the hedge-corner in the coldest fault?
I would not lose the dog for twenty pound.

Hun. Why, Belman is as good as he, my Lord;
He cried upon it at the meerest loss,

And twice to day pick'd out the dullest scent:
Truft me, I take him for the better dog.

Lord. Thou art a fool; if Eccho were as fleet,
I would efteem him worth a dozen fuch.
But fup them well, and look unto them all,
To morrow I intend to hunt again.

Hun. I will, my Lord.

Lord. What's here? one dead, or drunk? fee, doth he breathe?

2 Hun. He breathes, my Lord. Were he not warm'd with ale,

This were a bed but cold, to fleep fo foundly.

Lord. Omonftrous beaft! how like a fwine he lies!
-Grim death, how foul and loathsomellis thy image!.
Sirs, I will practise on this drunken man.
What think you, if he were convey'd to bed,
Wrapt in fweet cloaths; rings put upon his fingers;
A most delicious banquet by his bed,

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And brave attendants near him, when he wakes;
Would not the beggar then forget himself?

1 Hun. Believe me, Lord, I think he cannot chuse, 2 Hun. It would feem ftrange unto him, when he wak'd.

Lord. Even as a flatt'ring dream, or worthless fancy.
Then take him up, and manage well the jeft:
Carry him gently to my faireft chamber,

And hang it round with all my wanton pictures;
Balm his foul head with warm diftilled waters,
And burn fweet wood to make the lodging fweet.
Procure me mufic ready, when he wakes,
To make a dulcet and a heav'nly found;
And if he chance to fpeak, be ready ftraight,
And with a low fubmiffive reverence

Say, what is it your Honour will command?
Let one attend him with a filver bafon

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Full of rose water, and beftrew'd with flowers;
Another bear the ewer; a third a diaper;

And fay, will't pleafe your Lordship cool your hands?
Some one be ready with a coftly fuit,

And ask him what apparel he will wear;
Another tell him of his hounds and horse,
And that his Lady mourns at his disease;
Persuade him, that he hath been lunatick.
And when he fays he is,fay, that he dreams;
For he is nothing but a mighty Lord.
This do, and do it kindly, gentle Sirs:

It will be paftime paffing excellent,
If it be hufbanded with modefty".

1 Hun. My Lord, I warrant you, we'll play our


As he fhall think, by our true diligence,

He is no less than what we fay he is.

Lord. Take him up gently, and to bed with him;

6 -modefty.] By modefty is meant moderation, without fuffering our merriment to break into any excess.


And each one to his Office, when he wakes.

[Some bear out Sly. Sound Trumpets.

Sirrah, go fee what trumpet is that founds.

Belike, fome noble gentleman that means,[Ex. Servant. Travelling fome journey, to repofe him here.


Re-enter a Servant.

How now? who is it?

Ser. An't please your Honour, Players
That offer Service to your lordship.
Lord. Bid them come near:

Enter Players.

Now, Fellows, you are welcome.
Play. We thank your Honour.

Lord. Do you intend to ftay with me to-night? 2 Play. So please your Lordship to accept our duty Lord. With all my heart. This fellow I remember, Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest fon : 'Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman fo well: I have forgot your name; but, fure, that part Was aptly fitted, and naturally perform'd.

Sim. I think, 'twas Soto that your Honour means '. Lord. 'Tis very true; thou didft it excellent: Well, you are come to me in happy time, The rather for I have fome fport in hand, Wherein your cunning can affift me much.

* It was in thofe times the cuftom of players to travel in companies, and offer their fervice at great houfes

7 Ithink, 'twas Soto] I take our Author here to be paying a Compliment to Beaumont and "Fletcher's Women pleas'd, in which Comedy there is the Character of Soto, who is a Farmer's Son,

B 4

and a very facetious Servingman. Mr. Rowe and Mr. Pope prefix the Name of Sim to the Line here fpoken; but the firft folio has it Sincklo; which, no doubt, was the Name of one of the Players here introduc'd, and、 who had play'd the Part of Soto with Applaufe.


There is a Lord will hear you play to-night;
But I am doubtful of your modefties,
Left, over-eying of his odd Behaviour,
(For yet his honour never heard a Play)
You break into fome merry Paffion,
And fo offend him; for I tell you, Sirs,
If you should smile, he grows impatient.

Play. Fear not, my lord, we can contain ourfelves; Were he the verieft antick in the world.

2 Play. [to the other.] Go get a Difhclout to make clean your fhoes; and I'll fpeak for the properties . [Exit Player. My lord, we must have a fhoulder of mutton for a property, and a little Vinegar to make our devil roar. Lord. Go, firrah, take them to the buttery, And give them friendly welcome, every one: Let them want nothing that the house affords.

[Exit one with the Players. Şirrah, go you to Bartholomew my page, And fee him dreft in all fuits like a lady.

That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber,
And call him Madam, do him all obeifance.
Tell him from me (as he will win my love)
He bear himself with honourable action,

Property, in the language of a play-house, is every implement neceffary to the exhibition.

9 A little Vinegar to make our devil roar.] When the acting the mysteries of the old and new teftament was in vogue; at the reprefentation of the mystery of the Paffion, Judas and the Devil made a part. And the Devil, wherever he came, was always to fuffer fome difgrace, to make the people laugh: As here, the buffoonery was to apply the gall and vinegar to make him roar.

And the Paffion being that, of
all the myfteries, which was most
frequently reprefented, vinegar
became at length the standing
implement to torment the De-
vil: And used for this purpose
even after the myfteries ceafed,
and the moralities came in vogue;
where the Devil continued to
have a confiderable part.
The mention of it here was to
ridicule fo abfurd a circumftance
in thefe old farces.



Such as he hath obferv'd in noble ladies
Unto their lords, by them accomplish'd;
Such duty to the drunkard let him do,
With foft low tongue, and lowly courtesy;
And fay; what is't your Honour will command,
Wherein your lady and your humble wife,'
May fhew her duty, and make known her love?
And then with kind embracements, tempting kiffes,
And with declining head into his bosom,
Bid him thed tears, as being over-joy'd
To fee her noble lord reftor'd to health,
Who for twice feven years hath esteem'd himself*
No better than a poor and loathfome beggar:
And if the boy have not a woman's gift

To rain a fhower of commanded tears,


An onion will do well for fuch a fhift;

Which in a Napkin being clofe convey'd,
Shall in defpight enforce a wat❜ry eye.
See this dispatch'd, with all the haste thou canst;
Anon I'll give thee more inftructions. [Exit Servant.
I know the boy will well ufurp the grace,
Voice, gate, and action of a gentlewoman. .
I long to hear him call the drunkard, husband;
And how my men will stay themselves for laughter,
When they do homage to this fimple peasant.
I'll in to counfel them: haply, my prefence
May well abate the over-merry fpleen;

Which otherwife will go into extreams. [Exit Lord.

• In former editions, Who for thefe feven Years hath efleem'd himself No better than a poor and loathSame Beggar.]

I have ventur'd to alter a Word here, against the Authority of the printed Copies; and hope, I fhall be juftified in it by two fubfequent Paffages. That the

Poet defign'd, the Tinker's fuppos'd Lunacy fhould be of fourteen Years ftanding at leaft, is evident upon two parallel Passages in the Play to that Purpose.


*It is not unlikely that the onion was an expedient used by the actors of interludes.


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