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THE HOUSEWIFE.. hide, fine in the string, and small and
short in the legs and shins. So much No. XII.
difference is there in the quality of TO ESCAPE FROM OR GO INTO beasts, that two beasts of the same
A HOUSE ON FIRE. age and breed shall be bought in toCreep or crawl with your face near gether, made equally fat, and to be of the ground, and although the room be an equal weight, and one, by carrying full of smoke to suffocation, yet near a greater proportion of his weight in the floor the air is pure, and may be his or her prime pieces (viz. rumps, breathed with safety. The best escape sirloins, &c.) shall fetch more money from upper windows is a knotted rope, by from 7 to 10 per cent, Sheep are but if a leap is unavoidable, then the chosen by precisely the same points as bed should be thrown out first, or beds beasts, only it is necessary to examine prepared for the purpose.
their eye-veins with greater circum
spection, to ascertain if they be free CURE FOR CORNS.
from the rot, which last particular reTake some chalk, bruise it, and quires some practice to become premake it into a paste with water, and ficient in. apply it to those troublesome things in the form of a plaster, and it will im- THE MUSES' WILD WREATH, mediately stop the pain.--Dr.Chalmers
THE SMUGGLER'S CHAUNT. on Corns and Wens.
When sprites unholy vigils keep, CURE FOR THE STING OF A Allur'd by thirts of gain, WASP.
We break the heavy bonds of sleep Take a nob of common blue, such as To prowl across the main. washerwomen use, wet it in warm
* We value not the bounding spray, water, and apply it as a poultice; it
Nor heed the surge's roar; will instantly relieve the pain caused
canced But while our cutter stems her way, by the sting of either a wasp or a bee.
Impel the sweeping oar.
"Tis not for us the Queen of Night HOW TO CHOOSE LEAN SHEEP Gives lavisly her beams; AND BEASTS.
"Tis not for us the silver light The first thing to be thought of, Around her orbit streams; either in a sheep or a bullock, is its But if the skins be pitchy dark, age--recollecting that a sheep grows If clouds her beauty veil, considerably more in its second, a We haste to launch our stealthy bark, heifer in her third, and a steer in its And bend the scudding sail. fourth year, than in any other year of Our disport lies in coming storms, its life; and that a sheep ceases to No fears our souls appal ; grow at three, a heifer at five, and an We see them in a thousand forms, ox at seven years old. The points to And madly dare them all : choose an ox, a steer, or an heifer by, And many a proudly swelling breast, are, in the first place, the eye-as a Aye, many an outlaw brave, full and expressive eye is, in either of Shall find a couch of lasting rest these, as in every other animal, the Beneath the briny wave. index to all its good qualities. In the second, third, fourth, and fifth places,
Yet would we not our birth-right yield.
es, For landsmen's life of ease a good full taste or chog (what is com
monly a double chin in the human
Let them securely range the fields, species) to the tongue, a fine neck, a
We boldly sweep the seas; well-spread bosom, or, as the butchers A restless, lawless course is ours, call it, crop, and a good, free, full. A desperate part to play ; veined shoulder. In the sixth, seventh. Nor reck we how the morning lowers eighth, ninth, tenth, and eleventh If fortune smiles to day. places, a fine taper tail, two well. And Woman (lamp of loveliness! spread hips, a good broad back and Where kindlier passions burn) chine, round sides, a pair of high-laid, The Outlaw's fortunes deigas to bless, long, and well-proportioned rumps, And o'er his fate to mourn. (weand full but not coarse-fleshed thighs. No prayer, no tomb, perchance have In the twelfth, thirteenth, fourteenth, No flow'ret decks our bier; and fifteenth places, kind in the under But Love our fading memory points, slock of coat, thin and loose of Will hallow with a tear.
THE CHEESE WRING,
CORNWALL. Is a natural pile or combination of It consists of eight stones: the upperrude rocks, rising to the height of most, as Borlase was informed, was thirty-two feet, and standing near the formerly a logan, or rocking stone; top of a hill. The stones are placed but part of it having been broken off, one above another; and from the shape the equipoise was destroyed, and it is of some of them resembling a large now inmoveable: on the top were cheese the group obtained its name. two hollows, or basins, one of which is
yet whole. The great weight of the state of these is very different from upper part, and the slender bearing that of the bones we find in any of the between the third and fourth stones, other caverns, being of a black, or more have excited much admiration, “how properly speaking, dark umber colour such an ill-grounded pile could resist throughout, and many of them readily the storms of such an exposed situa- crumbling under the finger into a soft tion for so many ages." On the same dark powder, resembling mummy hill are several other small groups, all powder, and being of the same nature of granite, and one of the stones of the with the black earth in which they are enormous measurement of eleven yards embedded. The quantity of animal in length, and nine in breadth; the matter accumulated on this floor is the thickness, on a medium, little more most surprising, and the only thing of than two feet. The hill is of a conical the kind I ever witnessed; and many shape; and the diameter of the summit hundred, I may say thousand, indiviabout one hundred yards. Round the duals must have contributed their retop is an immense number of small mains to make up this appalling mass stones, seemingly ranged by art, and of the dust of death. It seems in great forming a rampart or wall. Within the part to be derived from comminuted circle are many large masses of rocks, and pulverised bone ; for the fleshy with excavations on the tops of some parts of animal bodies produce by their of them, called rock basins; these are decomposition so small a quantity of nearly regular and uniform, and gene- permanent earthy residuum, that we rally two together, with a spout or must seek for the origin of this mass channel between them.
principally in decayed bones. The
cave is so dry, that the black earth lies THE CAVE OF KUHLOCH. in the state of loose powder, and rises
in dust under the feet; it also retains · FROM PROFESSOR BUCKLAND.
so large a proportion of its original “ The Cave of Kuhlock (in Fran- animal matter, that it is occasionally conia),” says the Professor, " is more used by the peasants as an enriching remarkable than all the rest, as being manure for the adjacent meadows. the only one I have ever seen, except. The exterior of this cavern presents ing that of Kirkdale, in which the a lofty arch, in a nearly perpendicular animal remains have escaped disturb. cliff, which forms the left flank of the ance by diluvial action; and the only gorge of the Esbach, opposite the Castle one also in which I could find the of Rabenstein. The depth of the valley black animal earth, said by other below it is less than 30 feet, whilst writers to occur so generally, and for above it the hill rises rapidly, and which many of them appear to have sometimes precipitously, to 150 or 200 mistaken the diluvial sediment in feet. This narrow valley or gorge is which the bones are so universally simply a valley of denudation, by embedded. The only thing at all like which the waters of the Esbach fall it, that I could find in any of the other into those of the Weissent. The caverns, were fragments of highly de- breadth of the entrance arch is about cayed bone, which occurred in the 30 feet, its height 20 feet. As we ad. loose part of the diluvial sediment in the vance inwards the cave increases in caves of Scharzfeld and Gailenreuth; height and breadth, and near its inner but in the cave of Kahloch it is far extremity divides into two large and otherwise. It is literally true that in lofty chambers, both of which termithis single cavern (the size and pro- nate in a close round end, or cul de sac, portion of which are nearly equal to at the distance of about 100 feet from those of the interior of a large church) the entrance. It is intersected by no there are hundreds of loads of black fissures, and has no lateral communi. animal dust entirely covering the whole cations connecting it with any other ca. floor, to a depth which must average verns, except one small hole close to its at least six feet, and which, if we mouth, and which opens also to the multiply this depth by the length and valley. These circumstances are imbreadth of the cavern, will be found to portant, as they will assist to explain exceed 5000 cubic feet. The whole of the peculiarly undisturbed state in this mass has been again and again dug which the interior of this cavern has over in search of teeth and bones, remained, amid the diluvian changes which it still contains abundantly, that have affected so many others. though in broken fragments. The The inclination of the floor, for about
30 feet nearest the mouth, is very fogs and clouds; but in vain do I considerable, and but little earth is assail this wall, which bids defiance to lodged upon it, but further in, the my power.” interior of the cavern is entirely cover- The Mouse was astounded at this ed with a mass of dark brown or information. “What !” thought he, blackish earth, through which are dis- “is this Wall, that is so near me- this seminated, in great abundance, the Wall that protects my habitation, so bones and teeth of bears and other strong and so mighty? Well, then, it animals, and a few small fragments of shall be in future the object of my limestone, which have probably fallen adoration." from the roof; but I could find no “Ah!" sighed the Wall, “knowest rolled pebbles. The upper portion of thou not that thou and thy kindred this earth seems to be mixed up with a bave for upwards of a century been quantity of calcareous loam, which, undermining my foundation? Seest before it had been disturbed by digging, thou not that I cannot stand much probably formed a bed of diluvial sedi- longer ?" ment over the animal remains; but as Scarcely had it uttered these words, we sink deeper, the earth gets blacker, when it fell with a tremendous crash. and more free from loam, and seems Filled with astonishment the Mouse wholly composed of decayed animal crept about among the ruins; and, as matter. There is no appearance of he was too short-sighted to discover either stalactite or stalagmite having the connection of all created beings, ever existed within this cavern." he was frequently tempted to adore
either himself, or nothing at all. THE PHILOSOPHIC MOUSE; A FABLE.
Hare Jocose ; or, the Doggerel Deca
moran; being Ten Facetious Tales in BY AUGUSTUS VON KOTZEBUE.
Verse. To which are added, some An old mouse, who studied philo Miscellaneous Pieces. By Joseph sophy in an empty garret, and during Lunn, Esq. London, 1823. a severe famine had meditated a great
The above verses are by the author deal on the nature of the gods, conclud
of “ Family Jars," and “Fish out of ed at length to acknowledge the Sun as
Water," performed at the Haymarket the supreme being, because it dispenses
Theatre last summer; he is also author light and heat, draws forth the blos.
of a tragedy; and to prove the versasom, and brings the fruit to maturity
tility of his talents presents to the enlivens the healthy and refreshes the
world these tales, which consist of sick. The Sun heard the prayer of the
the Smuggler--Passion and Pennance
-The Village Hoax-Change of AirMouse, and mildly replied, “ Poor
The Servant of all Work-The Hidden little animal, I am but a creature like
Treasure-The Hen Roost-and the thyself; a fog, a cloud, spreading themselves before me, have the power
Only Son; these, with the exception
of one or two, which are certainly cento obscure my light, and to deprive the
sureable, are well calculated to enliven earth of my heat." “ The Sun is right," thought the
a merry Christmas-evening. As a samMouse, “ I suffered myself to be daz
ple, we copy of the productions--the zled by his splendour: it is the Cloud,
CHANGE OF AIR. that by right, deserves my adoration.” “ Full many a dire exposure spring, we
« Ip" said the Cloud, " thou art See, from one mere lapsus linguæ."--ANON. egregiously mistaken. I am but a be. Where London's dome exalts its towering composed of vapours, that ascend i ng head from your earth into the atmosphere. O'er the urn'd ashes of th' illustrious The Wind plays with me, gives me dead : this or that form at pleasure, and the While many a jostled bumpkia, passing Tempest completely disperses me."
under, “ In this case,” cried the mouse, “I Lifts his strain'd eyes and opes his must acknowledge the Tempest as the mouth with wonder; mightiest of beings, because it governs Where, all around, in rich display we the clouds which obscure the sun."
find “ Me?" roared the Tempest, “it is Provisions for the stomach, limbs, and true, that I hold sovereign sway over mind :
tebat, kisd reader, I mrmise.
For passing thro' a sing denszeh-pet.
Com esse 'tus error hard pra foot kast)
For rewrig had the grea Rete mr.
Resotring bere to make a stund,
When, é propus, betore their faces,
Scarce distant mais a hanred paces, - raty rosted in her coastitation,
A seat, love, wood-brasit bowse ap That ali the physic, Which Sity doctor hard prescrib'd,
With full-blowiezlastize was mantiedi And she, by gallus, hari imbibid, Wrozht, in its forte, no jot a dími.
And, to complete their lock,
A glaring placard stock Bot, for the golden lining of her parse,
l'pon a board, intelligence affunded That, I confes,
That, in this bouse of boards, you might Grew daily lesa,
be boarded. la ratio as her malasly grew worse.
Thither they steerd, This (as their bleeding patient still war
And ask'd to see rich)
The landlady, Neu gave the Doctors' consciences a Who straight appeared. twitch;
The cousins, in a sigh-fraught siper, But was, of course,
(Something between a smile and The fertile source
whimper) Of anxious cares
Their pious errand faultering told: To her next heirs;
u We have a calued sick relation, A couple of necessitous and sly Who, being now infirm and old, Pirst cousins,
Has singled out this situation; Who, seeing thus the guineas daily fly Hoping that your salubrious air, By dozens,
For some few years, her life may spare. Renolv'd, it possible, to check
But, hark ye! we have cause to fear Their long expected fortune's wreck. That deaths of late are frequent here.
This we entreat you not to mention, They sought the suffering invalid,
For 'twould defeat our kind intention, And on their knees began to plead, That of her life she'd take more heed. But, mum!
w To-morrow morning she shall come; “ Yield," argued they, “ to our advice, Don't drop a word And 'twill relieve you in a trice. That you have heard Discard your doctors; nauceous drugs Of death, for years, within a mile! forbear;
“ No," said the housewife with a Quit London's smoke and try a CHANGE smile; OP AIR!
“ You need not fear-my tongue ne'er Depute to us the pleasing duty,
slips : To find a genial spot to suit ye; No word of death shall’scape my lips." And you shall find our loving plan
Next morn the fragile lodger came : More efficacious
With eager haste th' officious dame, Than all the med'cine-monger clan,
At her approach, With hands rapacious."
Flew to the coach, The feeble patient gave consent, Dropt her best courtsey-lent her And to their tasks the cousins went. shoulder, For many a day beyond the city's bound. To be the lady's crutch, and told her The busy pair pursued a weary round. Thus, “My first floor has been preAnd many a rural village had they mu
par'd : pac'd,
The fires are good : the beds well Ere they could find an air to please .. air'd; their taste.
I'm quite convinc'd that, on inspection,
The rooms will merit your election: At length, to finish their preambula. And, if th' improvement of your case. tions,
Can be obtain'd by change of place, An accident fulfill'd their expectations; No spot's so well adapted to insure