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story is told of a young Armenian have you written ? said the grand peasant and his wife, who were res- vizier. cued from danger and pollution by “ “Yes, at your highness's service, the kindness and protection of Hajji. answered the mirza; I have written
The Persians are about this time (reading from his paper) that the inengaged in a war with the Russians, fidel dogs of Moscovites (whom Allah and our hero is sent home from the in his mercy impale on stakes of living army the bearer of despatches relating fires !) dared to appear in arms to the to an unsuccessful skirmish:
number of fifty thousand, flanked and “I presented myself at the grand supported by a hundred mouths spoutvizier's levee, with several other cou- ing fire and brimstone; but that as riers, from different parts of the empire, soon as the all-victorious armies of the and delivered my dispatches. When Shah appeared, ten to fifteen thousand he had inspected mine, he called me of them gave up their souls; whilst to him, and said aloud, "You are prisoners poured in in such vast numwelcome! You also were at Hamamlû? bers, that the prices of slaves have The infidels did not dare to face the diminished one hundred per cent, in Kizzil bashes, eh? The Persian horse all the slave-markets of Asia.' man, and the Persian sword, after all, « Barikallah! Well done,' said the nobody can face. · Your kban, I see, grand vizier. You have written has been wounded; he is indeed one of well. If the thing be not exactly so, the Shah's best servants. Well it was yet, by the good luck of the Shah, it no worse. You must have had hot will be, and therefore it amounts to work on each bank of the river.' the same thing. Truth is an excellent
"To all of this, and much more, I thing when it suits one's purpose ; but said “Yes, yes,' and no, no,' as fast very inconvenient when otherwise.' as the necessity of the remark re- «• Yes, said the mirza, as he looked quired; and I enjoyed the satisfaction up from his knee, upon which he rested of being looked upon as a man just come his hand to write his letter, and quotout of a battle. The vizier then called ing a well known passage in Saadi, to one of his mirzas or secretaries: Falsehood, mixed with good inten'Here,' said he, you must make out tions, is preferable to truth tending to a fatteh numeh (a proclamation of vic- excite strife.' tory), which must immediately be sent “The vizier then called for his shoes, into the different provinces, particu- rose from his seat, mounted the horse larly to Khorassan, in order to over. that was waiting for him at the door awe the rebel khans there; and let the of his tent, and proceeded to the auaccount be suited to the dignity and dience of the Shah, to give an account character of our victorious monarch. of the different despatches that he had We are in want of a victory just at just received. I followed him, and present; but, recollect, a good, sub- mixed in with his large retinue of serstantial, and bloody victory.
vants, until he turned round to me, “How many strong were the enemy?' and said, “You are dismissed; go, inquired the mirza, looking towards and take your rest.”” me. Bisyar, bisyar, many, many, We said that Zeenab had been transanswered 1, hesitating and embarrassed ferred to the Royal Harem. It was how many it would be agreeable that discovered that she had not entered I should say.- Put down fifty thou- those sacred precincts a virgin; she is sand,' said the vizier, coolly. How condemned to death, and Hajjî himself many killed ?' said the mirza, looking is ordered to see the last rites perfirst at the vizier, then at me. Write formed to the hapless victim of his ten to fifteen thousand killed,' an- own passions: swered the minister; remember these “The night was dark and louring, letters have to travel a great distance, and well suited to the horrid scene It is beneath the dignity of the Shah to about to be acted. The sun, unusual kill less than his thousands and tens in these climates, had set, surrounded of thousands. Would you have him by clouds of the colour of blood ; and, less than Rustam, and weaker than as the night advanced, they rolled on Afrasaib? No, our kings must be in unceasing thunders over the summits drinkers of blood, and slayers of men, of the adjacent range of Albors. At to be held in estimation by their sub- sudden intervals the moon was seen jects and surrounding nations. Well, through the dense vapour, which covered her again as suddenly, and moved-I was transfixed like a lump restored the night to its darkness and of lifeless clay, and if I am asked solemnity. I was seated lonely in the what my sensations were at the time, guard room of the palace, when I I should be at a loss to describe them heard the cries of the sentinels on the I was totally inanimate, and still I watch-towers, announcing midnight, knew what was going on. At length, and the voices of the muezzins from one loud, shrill, and searching scream the mosques, the wild notes of whose of the bitterest woe was heard, which chant floating on the wind, ran through was suddenly lost in an interval of the my veins with the chilling creep of most frightful silence. A heavy fall, death, and announced to me that the which immediately succeeded, told us hour of murder was at hand! They that all was over. I.was then roused, were the harbingers of death to the and with my head confused, half helpless woman. I started up, I could crazed and half conscious, I immedinot bear to hear them more, I rushed ately rushed to the spot, where my on in desperate haste, and as I came Zeenab and her burthen lay struggling, to the appointed spot, I found my five a mangled and mutilated corpse. She companions already arrived, sitting un- still breathed, but the convulsions of concerned on and about the coffin that death were upon her, and her lips was to carry my Zeenab to her eternal moyed as if she would speak, although mansion. The only word which I had the blood was fast flowing from her power to say to them was, Shoud?' mouth. I could not catch a word, Is it done? to which they answered, although she uttered sounds that “Ne shoud,' it is not done. To which seemed like words. I thought she ensued an awful silence. I had hoped said, "My child! my child!', but perthat all was over, and that I should haps it was an illusion of my brain. have been spared every other horror, I hung over her in the deepest despair, excepting that of conducting the me- and having lost all sense of prudence lancholy procession to the place of and self-preservation, I acted so much burial, but no, the deed was still to up to my own feelings, that if the men be done, and I could not retreat. around me had had the smallest suspi
“On the confines of the apartments cion of my real situation, nothing could allotted to the women in the Shah's have saved me from destruction. I palace stands a high octagonal tower, even carried my phrensy so far as to some thirty gez in height, seen con- steep my handkerchief in her blood, spicuous from all parts of the city, at saying to myself, this, at least, shall the summit of which is a chamber, in never part from me!' I came to mywhich he frequently reposes and takes self, however, upon hearing the shrill the air. It is surrounded by unappro- and dæmon-like voice of one of her priated ground, and the principal gate murderers from the tower's height, of the harem is close to its base. On crying out, 'Is she dead? “Aye, as the top of all is a terrace (a spot, ah! a stone,' answered one of my ruffians. never by me to be forgotten!) and it Carry her away then,' said the voice. was to this that our whole attention "To hell, yourself,' in a suppressed was now rivetted. I had scarcely ar. tone, said another ruffian ; upon which rived, when, looking up, we saw three my men lifted the dead body into the figures, two men and a female, whose taboot, placed it upon their shoulders, forms were lighted up by an occasional and walked off to the burial-ground gleam of moonshine, that shone in a without the city, where they found a wild and uncertain manner upon them. grave ready dug to receive it. I They seemed to drag their victim be walked mechanically after them, ab. tween them with much violence, whilst sorbed in most melancholy thoughts, she was seen in attitudes of supplica- and when we arrived at the burial tion, on her knees, with her hands ex- place, I sat myself down on a gravetended, and in all the agony of the stone, scarcely conscious of what was deepest desperation. When they were going on. I watched the operations at the brink of the tower her shrieks of the Nasackchies with a sort of unwere audible, but so wild, so varied meaning stare; saw them place the by the blasts of wind that blew round dead body in the earth; then shovel the building, that they appeared to me the mould over it; then place two like the sounds of laughing madness, stones, one at the feet and the other at
“ We all kept a dead and breathless the head. When they had finished, they silence : even my five ruffians seemed came up to me and said that all was done to which I answered. •Go those of Irak, and from the seas of bome; I will follow. They left me Hind to the sheres of the Caspian, stated on the grave, and returned to add his name will be well known." the town.
** But wbo was your father' said tbe * The night continued dark, and old woman. distant thunders still ecboed through • My fatber?" said I, after a pause, the mountains. No other sound was 'be was a man of great power. More beard, sare now and then the infant- beads came under his thumb, and be like cries of the jackall that now in took more men with impunity by the packs, and then by two or three at a beard, than even the chief of the time, kept prowling round the man. Wahabi himself." sions of the dead."
“I had now gained sufficient time to This is in the best style of Anastasius, arrange a little off-hand genealogy for and convinces us of the identity of the myself; and as the old woman's coudauthor.
tenance expanded at what I had said, Hajji now flies in despair from the I continued to speak to ber after this residence of the court; but fearful of manner: being discovered by the agents of the ** If your mistress wants high blood, Shah, he takes refuge within the then let her look to me. Be assured, sacred precincts of the tomb of Fatj- that she and her brothers, be they who meh, which enjoys the privilege of the they may, will never exceed me in sanctuary. The description of priestly descent. Arab blood flows in my hypocrisy, and of his own affected ob- reids, and that of the purest kind. My servance of religious rites, is suffi. ancestor was a Mansouri Arab, from ciently well drawn to be offensive. the province of Nedj in Arabia Felix, After a short period he is permitted who, with the whole of his tribe was to return to Ispahan in time to close established by Shah Ismael of Persia the eyes of his dying father. The in some of the finest pastures of Irak, wickedness of his mother and his old and where they have lived ever since. schoolmaster deprives him of the My great ancestor Kâtir, ben Khur, greater part of his father's wealth; ben Asp, ben Al Madian, was of the and he goes forth once more into the tribe of Koreish, and that brought him world as an adventurer. This is an in direct relationship with the family amusing portion of the work, and of our blessed Prophet, from whom though a little too minute in its de all the best blood of Islam fows." tails, and too much loaded with allu- « * Allah, Allah!' exclaimed the old sions to, and descriptions of oriental woman,' enough, enough. If you are manners and customs, is extremely all this, my mistress wants to more. graphic and lively. His adventures And if your riches are equal to your are strangely varied, and full of all birth, we shall be entirely satisfied." that sort of peril, which attaches to “As for my riches,' said I, 'I cannot the actions of a man eager to turn boast of much cash; but what merchant every thing to his own advantage, and ever has cash at command! you must little scrupulous as to the delicacy and know as well as myself, that it is honesty of the means. He at last re always laid out in merchandize, which solves to turn pipe-merchant, and sets is dispersed over different parts of the off for Constantinople, under the ad. world, and which in due time returns vice and protection of his old master, back to him with increase. My Persian Osman Aga. Here he attracts thé silks and velvets are now travelling notice and captivates the affections of into Khorassan, and will bring me a young, rich, and handsome Turkish back the lamb-skins of Bokhara. My widow. She proposes to marry him; agents, provided with gold and otter but requires, in the first place, some skins, are ready at Meshed to buy the account of his family and fortune. shawls of Cashmire, and the precious
“ Although I was not prepared for stones of India. At Astracan, my this, yet such was the quickness with cotton stuffs are to be bartered against which I had seized the whole extent sables, cloth, and glass-ware; and the of the good fortune awaiting me, that Indian goods which I buy at Bassorah with the same quickness I without and send to Aleppo, are to return to hesitation said, Family? Family, me in the shape of skull caps and did you say? Who is there that does shalli stuffs. In short, to say prenot know Hajji Baba? Let him in- cisely what I am worth, would be as quire from the confines of Yemen to difficult as to count the ears in a field
of wheat; but you may safely tell your sport with the old man." Accordingly mistress that the man of her choice, they consulted each other, and soon whenever he gathers his wealth to resolved in what manner they would gether, will astonish her and her divert themselves on this occasion: family by its extent.'”
namely, by compelling him to preach They are married; but poor Hajjî, them a sermon in the stump of a hollow unable to withstand the temptation of tree that happened to be on the spot. sudden prosperity, indulges in the Mr. Dod kept jogging on, little thinkmost boundless prodigality, and ex. ing of any plot forming against him. cites the jealousy and hatred of his At length he arrived where the stucountrymen. Through their means dents were waiting for him; the comhis lies are detected, his impostures pliments of the meeting having passed, exposed, and he is shamefully ex. they enquired of the good man if the pelled from the habitation of his new report they had heard of his having wife. In his destitution he flies to preached against drunkenness of late the Persian ambassador, and after re- was true. Mr. Dod replied, the precounting to him the history of his life, valency of such evils, and especially is taken into his household, partly as amongst those from whom better things a secretary and partly as a spy. In might be expected, he could not disthe course of his duties in the latter pence with a delay in reproving, conof these employments, we are pre- sistent with his public character as a sented with some well-written satirical minister, therefore he had inveighed sketches of European character and against a vice so detestable in the sight customs. Hajjî returns to Persia, and of God and all good men. The colle. by making himself of service to the gians then said they had a favour to Vizier, is at last appointed chief secre- request of him, that he would indulge tary of the embassy to England. At them with a sermon from a text of their this point the narrative breaks off, own choosing. To this Mr. Dod rewith a promise of continuation at some plied in the negative, alleging it was future period. We trust that such highly unreasonable to require a man period may soon arrive. A more lively, publicly to deliver his sentiments upon pleasant, and facetious book we have any subject, without first giving him not lately read; and setting aside its an opportunity to ruminate the same in merely agreeable qualities, it is en his own thoughts in private. “Besides,” titled, on the ground of its instructive added he, “I am upon a journey in pictures of Persian manners, to very
pursuit of other concerns at present, considerable praise.
therefore I desire you will lay aside and desist from any farther solicitations
in this affair.” To which the students A SERMON UPON THE WORD answered, they were thoroughly perMALT,
suaded he was master of elocution, and · Preached in the Stump of a hollow Tree, subiect, that they could not bear the
never at a loss for matter upon any by the Rev. John Dod, M. A. author of
thoughts of denial, and perhaps a fair the most Approved Sayings.
opportunity might never again preThe Drunkard feels his vitals waste, sent itself. Mr. Dod seeing himself Yet drowns his health to please his taste, thus beset, replied, “Well, gentlemen, Till all his active powers are lost, And fainting life draws near the
as you are thus urgent for my com
pliance, pray what is the subject I am Mr. Dod being for some time in a to handle." They answered the word village near Cambridge, and having is Malt; and for the want of a better, frequently observed the irregular be- here, sir, is your pulpit, pointing to haviour of some of the students of the the stump of a hollow treo at hand. University, particularly excess in drink. Hereupon the venerable man mounted ing, to which they were greatly ad. the rostrum, and addressed his hearers dicted, took occasion to explode such in the following manner: practices in public from the pulpit. It “Beloved, I am a little man, come at happened some time after that several a short warning, to deliver a brief disof these young sparks riding out, met course, upon a small subject, to a thin Mr. Dod on the road; they saw him congregation, and from an unworthy some distance off, and immediately, on pulpit. Beloved, my text is Malt: it the first sight of him, cried out, “here cannot be divided into words, it being comes father Dod, pow we'll have some but one, therefore of necessity I must reduce it into letters, which I find it draw to a close, take with you the to be M-A-L-T.
characteristic of a drunkard. M-my beloved, is moral,
A drunkard is the annoyance of mo. A is allegorical,
desty, L-is literal,
The spoil of civility. His own shame, T-is theological.
his wife's sorrow; The moral is set forth to teach you His childrens' curse, his neighbour's drunkards good manners.
The alehouse man's benefactor;
The devil's drudge;
A walking swill bowl;
The picture of a beast; The allegorical is when one thing is The monster of a man. spoken and another thing intended; the thing expressed is malt, the thing OLD CHEAPSIDE AND ITS signified is the oil of malt, which you .
CROSS. Bacchanalians make
Few remains in London connected M-your meat,
with its ancient religious customs erA- your apparel,
cited so much abhorrence of the Pious, L-your liberty,
during the reign of Puritanism, as T-your text.
those architectural ornaments deno. The literary is according to the minated Crosses. Cheapside Cross. letters.
Charing Cross, and Paul's Cross, were M-much
the most obnoxious of these objects, A-ale,
and occasioned various pamphlets to little
be written for and against their demoT-thrift.
lition, which, while they show the The theological is according to the extreme violence of party spirit at the effects it produces, which I find to time, afford some amusing particulars consist of two kinds.
of their history. . The first respects this life. The
Of simple crosses, raised to excite second that which is to come.
devotion, numerous specimens exist in The effects it produces in this, are different parts of the country, as sein some
veral of them did formerly in the M-murder,
metropolis. These, however, though in others
comparatively more or less adorned, A-adultery,
were rude essays to what followed. in all
As the building art advanced, such L-licentious lives,
sort of ornaments became an object of in marry
decoration, on which the labour of the T-treason.
architect and sculptor were profusely The effects consequent in the world lavished. Piles of solid masonry, ex. to come, are
quisitely wrought and ornamented with M-misery,
statues, succeeded the simple pillar A-anguish,
placed in the church-yard, or on the 1-lamentation,
road-side, and gracing the most public T-torment.
situations, vied at length with the Thus, sirs, having briefly opened columns and obelisks of antiquity, and explained my short text, give me while the crucifix itself was lost in the leave to make a little use and improve- magnitude of the building on which it ment of the foregoing.
was elevated. Of this description, And, first, by way of exhortation, rank in a very eminent degree, the M-my masters,
crosses or memoriajs of affection erect A-all of you
ed by King Edward the First to his leave off
Queen, Eleanor, of which those of T-tippling.
Cheapside and Charing were the only Or, secondly, by way of communi ones in London. Paul's Cross, being cation,
erected for a different purpose, belongs M-my masters,
to another class. A-all of you
Cheapside, as the principal thorough look for
fare of London, was, from the earliest T-torment.
times the great theatre of exhibiNow, to wind up the whole, and tion of the splendour of our ancestors;