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THE LADLE AND BOWL. A man was brought before Lord Mansfield, when on the home circuit, who was charged with stealing a silver ladle. In the course of the evidence, the counsel for the crown was rather severe upon the prisoner for being an attorney. "Come, come," said his lordship in a whisper to the counsel, "don't exaggerate matters; if the fellow had been an attorney, depend upon it he would have stolen the bowl as well as the ladle.

A SMART REPROOF.

It is related of a dissenting minister, who resided the greater part of his days in the city of Norwich, (a wag in his turn) that as he was in the midst of a discourse, he perceived one of his congregation fast asleep just under his pulpit-raising his voice to its highest pitch, he suddenly exclaimed, "Fire! fire! fire!" The offender awaking, as suddenly jumpt up, crying in his turn, "Where? where? where?" "In hell for sleepers!" was the reproof.

THINGS AS THEY WERE. When Buonaparte had abdicated the throne of France in 1814, it was said by some person at a fashionable party in Paris, that things were to be restored to the same state they were previous to the Revolution. "Oh! I am delighted to hear that," exclaimed a lady present, who was no longer possessed of the bloom of youth, "for then I shall be only 18 years of age."

THE NON-PAYMENT OF THE CIVIL LIST.

George the Second, once, in a great rage, sent for Mr. Pelham, then minister, to demand a reason why the civil list was not paid. The minister replied, "The money destined for that purpose had been appropriated to another use, more urgent." His majesty, with an oath, told him, that if he did not pay it, he must get another minister who would; "I will not," added the king, "be the only gentleman in the king dom who does not pay his servants' wages when due."

NOTHING TO BOAST OF.

It was said by Sir Thomas Overbury, that the man who has nothing to boast of but illustrious ancestors, is like a potatoe-the only good thing belonging to him is under ground.

ANECDOTE OF BURNS.

"Once on a time, when the poet Burns dined with a party of friends at Glasgow, among the company was a Mr. Barton, a dandy of that day, both in dress and language, his constant expressions being "D-n my eyes! D-n my blood!" Burns had frequently been requested to write an epitaph for him, but declined the task, till Barton one day adding his own entreaty, Burns drew forth his pencil and wrote the following:

"Here cursing, swearing, Barton lies;
A bean, a buck, or d-n my eyes!
Who in his life did little good,
And his last words were-'d-n my blood!'"

EPIGRAMS.

VPON A COBLER.

Death and this man were long at a stand Because hee was still on the mending hand; At length comes Death in wond'rous fowle weather

And ripps vpp his soule from ye vpper leather.

ON A TAYLOUR.

To one a Taylor did this reason give

For his large bill that "all men wish to live:" Nay Taylour, by my faith (quoth he) you lye; Your father hang'd himselfe-HEE wisht to dye.

ANECDOTE OF A MISER.

A miser having lost an hundred pounds, promised ten pounds reward to any who should bring it him. An honest poor man, who found it, brought it to the old gentleman, demanding the ten pounds. But the miser, to baffle him, alledged that there was a hundred and ten pounds in the bag when lost. The poor man, however, was advised to sue for the money; and, when the cause came on to be tried, it appearing, that the seal had not been broken nor the bag ript, the judge said to the defendant's counsel, The bag you lost had an hundred and ten pounds in it, you say;" "Yes, my Lord," says he: "Then," replied the judge," according to the evidence given in court, this cannot be your money: for here are only an hundred pounds: therefore the plaintiff must keep it till the true owner appears."

66

THE POET'S CORNER.

A LAMENT.

I saw the wild flower adown in the glade,
I saw the brook ripple along in the shade;
I heard the lark warble aloft in the sky,
But sad was my heart, and more tearful
mine eye.

I wandered alone by the shadowy grove,
The daisy was blooming, and cooing the dove,
To water the daisy, soft stole from mine eye
A tear, and the dove seem'd to mock my sad
sigh.

1 sought the green bower, my William's retreat,
The thyme and the moss was all wither'd of late;
The primrose and violet bedecked the sad
scene,

But dead were their flowers, and drooping the
green.

The pine tree that lately had shaded the view,
The lightning had shiver'd, and splinter'd the

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WRITTEN IN A YOUNG LADY'S
PRAYER BOOK..

Youth, beauty, health, aud mirthful ease,
Have each their sev'ral powers to please;
But where's the nymph among the fair
That knows the charm, the pow'r of prayer?
Believe me, Hebe, in this book

The brighest eye may deign to look;
May seek, may find a better grace
Than e'er adorn'd the fairest face.
Yet the recital of the words
Nor love, nor joy, nor grace affords;
When prayer its proper music brings,
The soul itself must strike the strings..
The pious heart, with love sincere,
May breathe its sighs in secret here;
Or burn with joys to all unknown,
But breasts of angels and its own.

THE TWOPENNY BAG.
Whereat the gentleman began to stare-

"My friends," he cried, " p-x take you for your care."-Pope.

X. has adopted our motto, and we congratulate him on the result; indeed, his "Lament" is in such very pretty strains, that we shall lament if we do not hear from him often.

It won't do, indeed it won't, Mr. Teaseall. It may be true, that the lady you mention

"Wigs, gowns, skins, and trimming, "Good books for the women

"Paid bells, and musicians, "Drugs, nurse, and physicians, "Balls,raffles, subscriptions,and chairs, "Plays,concerts,tea,negus,andprayers," but personal abuse is not what we want for our pages. We have, as requested, put the manuscript en feu.

The second Letter of "Giles in Lunnun to his brother Dick in the Country," is received, and will appear soon.

"Cockneyisms" next week.- -W. M. B. will see that we have not neglected his communications. He may guess the rest.

"Sigh no more ladies," for we have just received an "Ode" addressed to your dear selves, one and all-but really the gentleman has told his "tale of love" in such low strains, that we forbear inserting it: for the consequence might be fatal to some of our fair readers, though among the rational part

"One half would never be believed,

"And t'other never read."

Contributions (post paid) to be sent to the Editor, at the Publishers.

"We ought not, like the spider, to spin a flimsy web wholly from our own magazine; but, like the bee, visit every store, and cull the most useful and the best."-GREGORY.

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VOLCANO IN JAPAN. M. TITSINGH, in his account of the above volcano, says, "In September, 1783, I received from Yedo the following particulars of the dreadful ravages occasioned by the eruption of the volcano, Asma-ga-daki, in the districts of Djozou and Zinzou. At eight o'clock in the morning, there arose in the province of Sinano, a very strong east wind, accompanied with a dull noise, like that of an earthquake, which increased daily. In four days there was a tremendous noise, and a shock of an earthquake; the walls of the houses cracked, and seemed ready to tumble; each successive shock was more violent, till the flames burst forth, with a terrific uproar, from the summit of the mountain, followed by a tremendous eruption of sand and stones: though it was broad day, every thing was enveloped in profound darkness, through which the flames alone threw at times a lurid light. For three days the mountain never ceased to cast up sand and stones. The large village of Sakamoto, and several others, situated at the foot of the volcano, were soon reduced to ashes, by the ignited matter which it projected, and by the flames which burst from the earth. (See the Engraving.) The inhabitants fled; but the chasms, every where formed by the opening of the grouud, prevented their escape, and in a moment a great

disappeared with their inhabitants, or were swept away."

Java, one of the finest islands in the world, is almost entirely volcanic. In 1586,there was an eruption which killed 10,000 persons. In 1772, a great part of the Passandayang was swallowed, with violent explosions. Forty villages were destroyed; 2957 inhabitants, and 15 miles in length and six of breadth were ingulphed. But a more extraordinary eruption was that of Tomboro, a mountain in Sambawa, in 1815. So tremendous was this explosion, that its effects extended over the Molucca Islands, Java, and a large portion of Celebes, Sumatra, and Borneo, to a circumference of 1000 miles from its centre, by tremulous motions; and the report of the explosion was heard at Java, 300 miles distant; while showers of ashes fell upon the island, and totally darkened the atmosphere. The ashes lay an inch and a half deep at Macassar, distant 250 miles. The sea was, for many miles round Sambawa, so covered with pumice stone and trunks of trees, as to impede the progress of ships; and the atmosphere was, for two entire days, in total darkness. The explosions were not only heard at Java, and the before-mentioned islands, but at Banca and Amboyna; the latter 890 miles distant, the former 986.

number of persons were swallowed up LITERARY CHARACTERIS=

or consumed by the flames. The water of the rivers Yoko-gawa and Carousawa boiled; the course of the Yonegawa, one of the largest rivers of Japan, was obstructed, and the boiling water inundated the adjacent country. The bears, hyænas, and other beasts of prey, fled from the mountains, and flocked to the neighbouring villages, where they devoured the inhabitants, or mangled them in a most horrible manner. The number of dead bodies floating upon the rivers was incalculable. Twenty-seven villages were swallowed up, and four only escaped; namely, Matsyeda, Yasouye, Takasakie, and Fousie-oka. At the last of these places there fell a shower of redhot stones, each weighing four or five ounces. At two o'clock the same day, the mountain of Asama cast forth a torrent of flames and balls of fire, and the whole country was enveloped in darkness. Many other villages, besides those here named, either partly

TICS AND CURIOSITIES.

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SWIFT'S LAST LINES.

Swift, in his lunacy, had some intervals of reason. On one occasion his physicians took him with them to enjoy the advantages of fresh air. When they came to the Phoenix Park, Dublin, Swift remarked a new building which he had never before seen, and asked "what it was designed for?" To which Dr.Kingsbury answered, "That, Mr. Dean, is the magazine for arms and powder, for the security of the city." "Oh, oh!” says the Dean, pulling out his pocketbook, "let me take an item of that. This is worth remarking; 'my tablet's!'" as Hamlet says, my tablet's! memory put down that."" Which produced the following lines, being the last the Dean ever wrote:—

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"Behold a proof of Irish sense 1

Here Irish wit is seen;
When nothing's left that's worth defence,
We build a magazine."

and then put up his pocket-book,
laughing heartily at the conceit, and
clenching it with, "When the steed's
stolen, shut the stable door."

HYPER-CRITICISM.

PARLIAMENT.

ON THE DIGNITY, POWER, AND AUTHO-
RITY OF THE PARLIAMENT, AND OF
THE ORDERS OBSERVED, THEREIN.-
FROM A PAPER WRITTEN IN THE
REIGN OF QUEEN ELIZABETH.

[Continued from page 391.]

Also, every one of these members ought to be incorrupt, no briber, nor taker of rewards, gifts, or money, either When Colman read his admirable for devising of any Bill, or for speakopera of Inkle and Yarico to the late ing of his mind, but to do all things Doctor Mosely, the Doctor made no uprightly and in such sort as is best remark during the progress of the for the King and Commonwealth." piece, but when it was ended, being asked what he thought of it? It won't do," said the Doctor, "stuff, nonsense!" Every body else having been delighted with it, this decided disapprobation puzzled the circle; and on being asked why? "I'll tell you," replied the critic, you say in the finale

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Also, every one ought to be of a quiet, honest and gentle behaviour; none taunting, checking, or misusing another in any unseemly words or deeds, but all, affections set apart, to do and endeavour, in wisdom, sobriety, and knowledge, that which that place requireth.

Also, all the prisons, wards, jails, within the realm, and the keepers of the same, are at the commandment of the Parliament for the custody and safe keeping, or punishment, of all and every such prisoners as shall be sent to any of them by the Parliament-houses, or any of them: howbeit most commonly the Tower of London is the prison which is most used.

Also, if any one of the Parliamenthouse be served, sued, arrested, or attacked by any writ, attachment, or minister of the King's Bench, Common Pleas, Chancery, or what court soever within this realm, the party so troubled and making complaint thereof to the Parliament-house, then forthwith the Serjeant-at-Arms is to be sent to the same court, not only advertising that the party so molested is one of the Parliament-house, but also inhibiting and commanding the officers of the said court to call in the said process, and not to deal any further against the said party; for the Parliament being the highest court, all other courts are inferior, and yield and give place to the

same.

Also, as every one of the Parliamenthouse is free for his own person for all manner of suits to be commenced against him, so are all his servants free, and not to be troubled or molested, but being troubled, they have the like remedy as the master hath or may have.

Also, no manner of person, being not one of the Parliament-house, ought to

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