dently older than himself, but still retaining all the vivacity of youth. She dressed elaborately, wore many ornaments, was highly rouged, and had a freedom of manner which would instantly have put me on my guard in my intercourse with her, had I been under the influence of any thing like prudential motives. There were many other ladies and gentlemen at the lodge; but as they were persons with whom I had no connexion, I have but little to say of them.

"And now I begin to feel anew a distaste for gay and pleasurable life. O, how flat and stale do all those scenes appear in the review, in which I once took so much delight! Believe me, my child, that the most gay and successful course of fashionable and worldly life, possesses no charms, and yields no pleasures, comparable to the substantial joys and expansive prospects attending the path of the humble and lowly Christian.

"Who can describe the vapidness, the sordid feelings, the languor and vexation, which accompany the life of an unconverted man, and the society of worldly persons?

"But to return to facts. I was led into the lodge in the manner I described, and suddenly found myself at the height of my wishes, and precisely in that situation after which the secret desires of my heart had panted. I was now brought into temptation, which I had never been sufficiently careful to avoid.

"As I beheld the glow of admiration with which I was received by every one present, my cheeks flushed with secret triumph; and I ascended the steps of the portico with the feelings of a monarch who first mounts the throne to which he has long aspired. The next moment, however, just as the duke de Nemours was preparing to lead me into the house, I looked back, and my eye fell upon the little winding path which led to the cabin of the old shepherd. Swift as lightning which flashes from pole to pole, were the recollections which at that instant darted through my soul. My father, the shepherd, madame d'Esten, every scene of comparatively innocent childhood at once presented themselves to my view, and the voice of conscience was prophetic and painful. A tear trembled in my eye, but I brushed it hastily away, and stepped with apparent gaiety into the large hall in the centre of

the building, where the fascinations of novelty soon removed those painful feelings which had so recently occupied my mind. In common with all unsanctified persons, I had been in the habit of associating the ideas of magnificence with happiness, and I regarded at that moment all the splendours which surrounded me as so many promises of future enjoyment. I was led through the great hall by the duke, into the saloon beyond. This was the most sumptuous apartment of the lodge. Its brilliancies are indeed faded, the worm and rust have now despoiled them; but it had then been but lately furnished, and would have rivalled some of the most splendid

chambers of Versailles.

"I was seated on a sofa at the upper end of the room. madame de Portalier placed herself on my right hand, and the duke on my left; and there I received the more particular compliments of all present, until, intoxicated by vanity, I was led to feel that I was then only beginning to live, and that all with whom I had been previously conversant had treated my transcendent merits with a degree of injustice, which I should have accounted for by supposing that their eyes had been blinded by envy, had not my own father and nurse been of the number; but how can envy find a place in the breasts of such dear connexions? A splendid feast, a pantomime in a small theatre which had been prepared in the lodge, and a ball, concluded this memorable day; and I arose the next morning only to enjoy a participation of the same pernicious amusements.

"A fortnight was spent in this manner, a fortnight principally devoted to me by all the splendid company there assembled; and during that period such was the delirium of my feelings, that I can recollect experiencing only one uneasy day. That day was the Sabbath, and the first Sabbath which I had ever spent in the society of unholy persons.

"The service of the church was performed that day by a person who had fulfilled the duties ever since the death of my father, a young pastor, who happened at that time to be visiting his parents in the village, and whom I had known from childhood.

"It had once been thought that the parents of this

young man hoped for a connexion with our family; but how this matter passed off, I never inquired, being totally indifferent on the subject. Probably I had made it appear by my manner, which was generally indifferent and haughty to those whom I chose to think my inferiors, that I was by no means disposed to accommodate myself to this arrangement.

"The village bell early in the morning first awakened me to the recollection of the day. I was being dressed, and the window was open. I felt an indescribable sensation, as this sound vibrated on my ear; and when released from the hands of my waiting-maids, (for I had already acquired the habit of being served by others,) I went to a closet within my room, and there stood for a while hearkening to the sound, which I could not but hear distinctly, although it was mingled with the crowing of the cock, the lowing of cattle, the barking of dogs, and the noise of the wind amidst the trees.

"The lower regions of the valley lay in mist, which the sun had not yet had power to dispel; but the higher parts of the valley and the snowy mountains beyond were gloriously illuminated. The image of my father rose before my mind, and I remembered him, as I had often seen him at this hour of the Sabbath, taking his simple breakfast, while he meditated on that portion of Scripture on which he proposed to speak during the day: musing, yet not morosely, not austerely; for he would frequently communicate his thoughts, and thus prepare us for what we were to hear from the pulpit. I then in fancy followed him to his church, beheld his benignant smile on all the people, his humble courtesies, and heard his tender pleadings with the sinner, his enlightened and cheerful views of the happiness of the redeemed, and remembered his look of paternal love when by chance his eye fell upon me. These recollections were indescribably bitter to me; and I wept so abundantly, that I was glad to plead a headach, to account for my non-appearance in the saloon, where the party generally spent the morning at the billiard-table, tric trac, or in some such trifles as are invented for the destruction of time, by those who do not recollect, that he who kills time may at last be found to have extended the sentence of death, as far as he is con

cerned, even into eternity. For if time be not redeemed, eternity must remain without hope.

"My husband seemed affected with my indisposition, (for I was then very dear to him, and it was my own fault that I did not fix his regard. Oh, I was in this most dreadfully faulty! but, alas! in what relation of life have I not been so?) He acquiesced in my remaining quietly in my room all the morning; but at dinner-time he persuaded me to join the party, and as I had a culpable backwardness in telling him wherefore I wished to be alone, he had the less difficulty in inducing me to submit. "As I looked pale when I appeared, a vast deal of sympathy, too great for the occasion, was expressed; and during the rest of the evening, the duke and his sister devoted themselves to me, and by their whispered flatteries rendered this perhaps the most dangerous evening I had spent at the lodge.

"At the end of this same week, we all left the valley, and spent our next Sabbath at a beautiful village on the Lake of Geneva. There we parted; the duke and his sister proceeding over the Simplon to Rome; the rest of our companions passing over into France; and my husband, with me, proceeding through the Hauenstein into the German territories, where we proposed to linger awhile, taking occasion to see all that was worthy of notice in that part of the world.

Gay as I had been at the lodge, I certainly found a relief to my spirits as I became more distant from all that could remind me of home; my conscience became more insensible, and I found more amusement for my thoughts.

"We staid some time at Baden, Carlsruhe, Cologne, and several other places, where the comte met with acquaintance. In these towns we took lodgings, and commonly dined in public, spending many of our evenings at the theatre, and in other public places. It was at Cologne, however, that I first began to perceive some defects in my husband which I had little suspected, and which, when discovered, I made no attempts to correct, but rather increased by my own imperious carriage.

"The comte was evidently not a man of good temper This first appeared towards his servants, and then to me. He was frequently peevish, and inclined to jealousy and

suspicion. He was also too fond of games of hazard, as is too much the case with his countrymen in general. This I might have observed at the lodge; but it was not till we reached Cologne, where he found some old companions, that he began to leave me in an evening to indulge this dangerous propensity.

"It would have been the endeavour of a good wife to draw him by gentle methods from this dangerous society: but I had no idea of winning by such means. The duke de Nemours had told me that the comte might consider himself a most fortunate man in having seen me first, and thus having possessed the opportunity of carrying away the prize—insinuating, that, had he first seen me, it should not have been so. These were mere words of course, and would not have been uttered to a woman whom the duke had respected; but they tallied so entirely with an opinion which I had myself conceived, after I had been a few days at the lodge, that they sunk deeply into my heart, and there operated like subtle and deadly poison. With this opinion of myself, I was prepared to resent every thing like neglect on the part of my husband; and this was the occasion of our first disagreement at Cologne.

"This disagreement, however, and several others, passed over without any very evident diminution of regard, though I believe that quarrels between married persons always tend to lessen affection. We proceeded in some degree comfortably together till our arrival in Paris, which was at the end of about six months after our marriage.

"It was the spring time, and as yet not very hot, when we took possession of the Hotel de B, which my husband then owned, a large and elegant house in the Fauxbourgh St. Honore, the back of which looked towards the Champs Elysees. The house stood far back in a square court, surrounded by offices, and fronted towards the street by a high gateway with a porter's lodge.

"I was not at this period quite so great a novice as to be much surprised at the magnificence of the suit of staterooms on the first floor, through which my husband led me to my own apartments in the left wing of the house;