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state of mind, that cannot be pleased but by what is the subject of lamentation. This temper has ever been, in the highest degree, odious to gallant spirits. The Persian soldier, who was heard reviling Alexander the Great, was well admonished by his officer, Sir, you are paid to fight against Alexander, and not to rail at him.'

so well as this old lady does to disperse it. She does not know the author of any thing that is told her, but can readily repeat the matter itself; therefore, though she exposes all the whole town, she offends no one body in it. She is so exquisitely restless and peevish, that she quarrels with all about her, and sometimes in a freak will instantly Cicero, in one of his pleadings, defend- change her habitation. To indulge this ing his client from general scandal, says humour, she is led about the grounds bevery handsomely, and with much reason, longing to the same house she is in; and the There are many who have particular en- persons to whom she is to remove being in gagements to the prosecutor; there are the plot, are ready to receive her at her many who are known to have ill-will to him own chamber again. At stated times the for whom I appear; there are many who are gentlewoman at whose house she supposes naturally addicted to defamation, and en- she is at the time, is sent for to quarrel with, vious of any good to any man, who may according to her common custom. When have contributed to spread reports of this they have a mind to drive the jest, she is kind; for nothing is so swift as scandal, no-immediately urged to that degree, that she thing is more easily set abroad, nothing received with more welcome, nothing diffuses itself so universally. I shall not desire, that if any report to our disadvantage has any ground for it, you would overlook or extenuate it: but if there be any thing advanced, without a person who can say whence he had it, or which is attested by one who forgot who told him it, or who had it from one of so little consideration that he did not think it worth his notice, all such testimonies as these, I know, you will think too slight to have any credit against the innocence and honour of your fellow citizens.' When an ill report is traced, it very often vanishes among such as the orator has here recited. And how despicable a creature Whoever receives impressions to the dismust that be, who is in pain for what passes advantage of others, without examination, is among so frivolous a people! There is a to be had in no other credit for intelligence town in Warwickshire, of good note, and than this good lady Bluemantle, who is subformerly pretty famous for much animosity jected to have her ears imposed upon for and dissention, the chief families of which want of other helps to better information. have now turned all their whispers, back-Add to this, that other scandal-bearers bitings, envies, and private malices, into suspend the use of these faculties which mirth and entertainment, by means of a she has lost, rather than apply them to do peevish old gentlewoman, known by the title justice to their neighbours: and I think, for of the lady Bluemantle. This heroine had, the service of my fair readers, to acquaint for many years together outdone the whole them, that there is a voluntary lady Bluesisterhood of gossips in invention, quick mantle at every visit in town. utterance, and unprovoked malice.

This

will board in a family with which she has never yet been; and away she will go this instant, and tell them all that the rest have been saying of them. By this means she has been an inhabitant of every house in the place, without stirring from the same habitation: and the many stories which every body furnishes her with, to favour the deceit, make her the general intelligencer of the town of all that can be said by one woman against another. Thus groundless stories die away, and sometimes truths are smothered under the general word, when they have a mind to discountenance a thing, Oh! that is in my lady Bluemantle's Memoirs.'

Occupet extremum scabies.

good body is of a lasting constitution, though No. 428.] Friday, July 11, 1712.
extremely decayed in her eyes, and de-
crepid in her feet. The two circumstances
of being always at home, from her lame-
ness, and very attentive from her blind-
ness, make her lodgings the receptacle
of all that passes in town, good or bad;
but for the latter she seems to have the
better memory. There is another thing to
be noted of her, which is, that, as it is
usual with old people, she has a livelier
memory of things which passed when she
was very young than of late years. Add to
all this, that she does not only not love any
body, but she hates every body. The statue
in Rome* does not serve to vent malice half

*A statue of Pasquin in that city, on which sarcas. tic remarks were pasted, and thence called Pasquinades. VOL. II.

21

T.

Hor Ars Poet. ver. 417 The devil take the hindmost! -English Proverbs. IT is an impertinent and unreasonable fault in conversation, for one man to take up all the discourse. It may possibly be objected to me myself, that I am guilty in this kind, in entertaining the town every day, and not giving so many able persons, who have it more in their power, and as much in their inclination, an opportunity to oblige mankind with their thoughts. "Besides,' said one whom I overheard the other day, why must this paper turn altogether upon topics of learning and morality? Why should it pretend only to wit, humour, or the like things which are useful only

to men of literature, and superior educa- | what tracts of land have been purchased tion? I would have it consist also of all by a constant attendance within a walk of things which may be necessary or useful to thirty foot. If it could also be noted in the any part of society; and the mechanic arts equipage of those who are ascended from should have their place as well as the libe- the successful trade of their ancestors into ral. The ways of gain, husbandry, and figure and equipage, such accounts would thrift, will serve a greater number of peo- quicken industry in the pursuit of such acple than discourses upon what was well quisitions, and discountenance luxury in the said or done by such a philosopher, hero, enjoyment of them. general, or poet.'-I no sooner heard this To diversify these kinds of information, critic talk of my works, but I minuted what the industry of the female world is not to be he had said; and from that instant resolved unobserved. She to whose household virto enlarge the plan of my speculations, by tues it is owing, that men do honour to her giving notice to all persons of all orders, husband, should be recorded with veneraand each sex, that if they are pleased to tion; she who has wasted his labours, with send me discourses, with their names and infamy. When we are come into domestic places of abode to them, so that I can be life in this manner, to awaken caution and satisfied the writings are authentic, such attendance to the main point, it would not be their labours shall be faithfully inserted in amiss to give now and then a touch of trathis paper. It will be of much more conse-gedy, and describe that most dreadful of quence to a youth, in his apprenticeship, all human conditions, the case of bankto know by what rules and arts such-a-one ruptcy: how plenty, credit, cheerfulness, became sheriff of the city of London, than to full hopes, and easy possessions, are in an see the sign of one of his own quality with instant turned into penury, feint aspects, a lion's heart in each hand. The world, diffidence, sorrow, and misery; how the indeed, is enchanted with romantic and man, who with an open hand the day beimprobable achievements, when the plain fore could administer to the extremities of path to respective greatness and success, others is shunned to-day by the friend of in the way of life a man is in, is wholly his bosom. It would be useful to show how overlooked. Is it possible that a young man just this is on the negligent, how lamentat present could pass his time better than able on the industrious. A paper written in reading the history of stocks, and know- by a merchant might give this island a true ing by what secret springs they have had sense of the worth and importance of his such sudden ascents and falls in the same character, it might be visible from what he day! Could he be better conducted in his could say, that no soldier entering a breach way to wealth, which is the great article adventures more for honour, than the trader of life, than in a treaties dated from does for wealth to his country. In both 'Change-alley by an able proficient there? cases, the adventurers have their own adNothing certainly could be more useful, vantage; but I know no cases wherein every than to be well instructed in his hopes and body else is a sharer in the success. fears; to be diffident when others exult; It is objected by readers of history, that and with a secret joy buy when others the battles in those narrations are scarce think it their interest to sell. I invite all ever to be understood. This misfortune is persons who have any thing to say for the to be ascribed to the ignorance of historians profitable information of the public, to take in the methods of drawing up, changing their turns in my paper: they are welcome the forms of a battalia, and the enemy refrom the late noble inventor of the longi- treating from, as well as approaching to, tude, to the humble author of straps for ra- the charge. But in the discourses from the zors. If to carry ships in safety, to give correspondents, whom I now invite, the help to a people tossed in a troubled sea, danger will be of another kind; and it is newithout knowing to what shores they bear, cessary to caution them only against using what rocks to avoid, or what coast to pray terms of art, and describing things that are for in their extremity, be a worthy labour, familiar to them in words unknown to the and an invention that deserves a statue; at reader. I promise myself a great harvest the same time, he who has found a means of new circumstances, persons, and things, to let the instrument which is to make your from this proposal; and a world, which visage less horrible, and your person more many think they are well acquainted with, snug, easy in the operation, is worthy of discovered as wholly new. This sort of insome kind of good reception. If things of telligence will give a lively image of the high moment meet with renown, those of chain and mutual dependance of human little consideration, since of any considera- society, take off impertinent prejudices, tion, are not to be despised. In order that enlarge the minds of those whose views are no merit may lie hid, and no art unim-confined to their own circumstances; and, proved, I repeat it, that I call artificers, as well as philosophers, to my assistance in the public service. It would be of great use if we had an exact history of the successes of every great shop within the city walls,

in short, if the knowing in several arts, professions, and trades, will exert themselves, it cannot but produce a new field of diversion and instruction, more agreeable than has yet appeared.

T.

No. 429.] Saturday, July 12, 1712.

-Populumque falsis dedocet uti

Vocibus-
Hor. Od. ii. Lib. 2. 19.
From cheats of words the crowd she brings
To real estimate of things.-Creech.

'MR. SPECTATOR,-Since I gave an account of an agreeable set of company which were gone down into the country, I have received advices from thence, that the institution of an infirmary for those who should be out of humour has had very good effects. My letters mention particular circumstances of two or three persons, who had the good sense to retire of their own accord, and notified that they were withdrawn, with the reasons of it to the company in their respective memorials.' "The humble Memorial of Mrs. Mary Dainty, Spinster,

"Showeth,

"That conscious of her own want of merit, accompanied with a vanity of being admired, she had gone into exile of her own accord.

"She is sensible, that a vain person is the most insufferable creature living in a wellbred assembly.

"That she desired, before she appeared in public again, she might have assurances, that though she might be thought handsome, there might not more address of compliment be paid to her than to the rest of the company.

"That she conceived it a kind of superiority, that one person should take upon him to commend another.

"Lastly, that she went into the infirmary, to avoid a particular person, who took upon him to profess an admiration of her.

"She therefore prayed, that to applaud out of due place might be declared an offence, and punished in the same manner with detraction, in that the latter did but report persons defective, and the former made them so.

"All which is submitted, &c." There appeared a delicacy and sincerity in this memorial very uncommon; but my friend informs me, that the allegations of it were groundless, insomuch that this declaration of an aversion to being praised was understood to be no other than a secret trap to purchase it, for which reason it lies still on the table unanswered.'

"The humble Memorial of the Lady Lydia Loller,

"Showeth,

"That the lady Lydia is a woman of quality; married to a private gentleman. "That she finds herself neither well nor

ill.

"That her husband is a clown. "That the lady Lydia cannot see company.

"That she desires the infirmary may be her apartment during her stay in the country.

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"That as soon as he has forgot himself, he will wait on the company."

'His indisposition was allowed to be sufficient to require a cessation from company.' "The Memorial of Frank Jolly, "Showeth,

"That he hath put himself into the infirmary, in regard he is sensible of a certain rustic mirth, which renders him unfit for polite conversation.

"That he intends to prepare himself, by abstinence and thin diet, to be one of the company.

"That at present he comes into a room as if he were an express from abroad.

"That he has chosen an apartment with a matted antechamber, to practise motion without being heard.

"That he bows, talks, drinks, eats, and helps himself before a glass, to learn to act with moderation.

"That by reason of his luxuriant health he is oppressive to persons of composed behaviour.

"That he is endeavouring to forget the word 'pshaw, pshaw.'

"That he is also weaning himself from his cane.

"That when he has learnt to live without

his said cane, he will wait on the company, &c."

"The Memorial of John Rhubarb, Esq. "Showeth,

"That your petitioner has retired to the infirmary, but that he is in perfect good health, except that he has by long use, and for want of discourse, contracted an habit of complaint that he is sick.

"That he wants for nothing under the sun, but what to say, and therefore has fallen into this unhappy malady of complaining that he is sick.

"That this custom of his makes him, by his own confession, fit only for the infirmary,

and therefore he has not waited for being sentenced to it.

"That he is conscious there is nothing more improper than such a complaint in good company, in that they must pity, whether they think the lamenter ill or not; and that the complainant must make a silly figure, whether he is pitied or not.

"Your petitioner humbly prays that he may have people to know how he does, and he will make his appearance."

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"The valetudinarian was likewise easily excused: and the society, being resolved not only to make it their business to pass their time agreeably for the present season, but also to commence such habits in themselves as may be of use in their future conduct in general, are very ready to give into a fancied or real incapacity to join with their measures, in order to have no humourist, proud man, impertinent or sufficient fellow, break in upon their happiness. Great evils seldom happen to disturb company; but indulgence in particularities of humour is the seed of making half our time hang in suspense, or waste away under real discomposures.

you may with authority censure whatever looks ill, and is offensive to the sight; the worst nuisance of which kind, methinks, is the scandalous appearance of poor in all parts of this wealthy city. Such miserable objects affect the compassionate beholder with dismal ideas, discompose the cheerfulness of his mind, and deprive him of the pleasure he might otherwise take in surveying the grandeur of our metropolis. Who can without remorse see a disabled

sailor, the purveyor of our luxury, destitute of necessaries? Who can behold the honest soldier that bravely withstood the enemy, prostrate and in want among friends? It were endless to mention all the variety of wretchedness, and the numberless poor that not only singly, but in companies, implore your charity. Spectacles of this nature every where occur; and it is unaccountable that amongst the many lamentable cries that infest this town, your comptrollergeneral should not take notice of the most shocking, viz. those of the needy and afflicted. I cannot but think he waived it merely out of good breeding, choosing rather to waive his resentment than upbraid his countrymen with inhumanity: however, let not charity be sacrificed to popularity; and if his ears were deaf to their complaint, let not your eyes overlook their persons. There are, I know, many impostors among them. Lameness and blindness are certainly very often acted; but can those who have their sight and limbs employ them better than in knowing whether they are counterfeited or not? I know not which of the two misapplies his senses most, he who pretends himself blind to move compassion, or he who beholds a miserable object with"The humble Petition of Jeoffry Hotspur, out pitying it. But in order to remove such

Among other things, it is carefully provided that there may not be disagreeable familiarities. No one is to appear in the public rooms undressed, or enter abruptly into each other's apartment without intimation. Every one has hitherto been so careful in his behaviour, that there has but one offender, in ten days' time, been sent into the infirmary, and that was for throwing away his cards at whist.

He has offered his submission in the following terms:

"Showeth,

Esq.

"Though the petitioner swore, stamped, and threw down his cards, he has all imaginable respect for the ladies, and the whole

impediments, I wish, Mr. Spectator, you I would give us a discourse upon beggars, that we may not pass by true objects of charity, or give to impostors. I looked out of my window the other morning earlier than ordinary, and saw a blind beggar, an "That he humbly desires it may be con-hour before the passage he stands in is sidered, in the case of gaming, there are many motives which provoke the disorder. "That the desire of gain, and the desire of victory, are both thwarted in losing.

company.

frequented, with a needle and a thread thriftily mending his stockings. My astonishment was still greater, when I beheld a lame fellow, whose legs were too big to walk within an hour after, bring him a pot of ale. I will not mention the shakings, distortions, and convulsions, which many of them practise to gain an alms; but sure I am they ought to be taken care of in this condition, either by the beadle or the magistrate. They, it seems, relieve their posts, according to their talents. There is the voice of an old woman never begins to beg till nine in the evening; and then she is destitute of lodging, turned out for want of rent, and has the same ill fortune every night in the year. You should employ an officer to hear the distress of each beggar that is constant at a particular place, who is ever in the same tone, and succeeds be'SIR,-As you are a Spectator-general, cause his audience is continually changing,

"That all conversations in the world have indulged human infirmity in this case. "Your petitioner therefore most humbly prays, that he may be restored to the company: and he hopes to bear ill-fortune with a good grace for the future, and to demean himself so as to be no more than cheerful when he wins, than grave when he loses." T.

No. 430.] Monday, July 14, 1712.

Quære peregrinum, vicinia rauca reclamat.
Hor. Ep. xvii. Lib. 1. 62.
The crowd replies,

Go seek a stranger to believe thy lies.--Creech.

"For higher of the genial bed by far,
And with mysterious reverence, I deem."

though he does not alter his lamentation.
If we have nothing else for our money, let
us have more invention to be cheated with. I am, sir, your humble servant,
All which is submitted to your spectatorial
vigilance; and I am, sir, your most humble
servant.'

'SIR,-I was last Sunday highly transported at our parish-church; the gentleman in the pulpit pleaded movingly in behalf of the poor children, and they for themselves much more forcibly by singing a hymn; and I had the happiness of being a contributor to this little religious institution of innocents, and am sure I never disposed of money more to my satisfaction and advantage. The inward joy I find in myself, and the good-will I bear to mankind, make me heartily wish those pious works may be encouraged, that the present promoters may reap delight, and posterity. the benefit of them. But whilst we are building this beautiful edifice, let not the old ruins remain in view to sully the prospect. Whilst we are cultivating and improving this young hopeful offspring, let not the ancient and helpless creatures be shamefully neglected. The crowds of poor, or pretended poor, in every place, are a great reproach to us, and eclipse the glory of all other charity. It is the utmost reproach to society, that there should be a poor man unrelieved, or a poor rogue unpunished. I hope you will think no part of human life out of your consideration, but will, at your leisure, give us the history of plenty and want, and the natural gradations towards them, calculated for the cities of London and Westminster. I am, sir, your most humble servant,

'T. D.'

MR. SPECTATOR,-I beg you would be pleased to take notice of a very great indecency, which is extremely common, though, I think, never yet under your censure. It is, sir, the strange freedoms some ill-bred married people take in company; the unseasonable fondness of some husbands, and

the ill-timed tenderness of some wives. They talk and act as if modesty was only fit for maids and bachelors, and that too before both. I was once, Mr. Spectator, where the fault I speak of was so very flagrant, that (being, you must know, a very bashful fellow, and several young ladies in the room,) I protest I was quite out of countenance. Lucina, it seems, was breeding; and she did nothing but entertain the company with a discourse upon the difficulty of reckoning to a day; and said she knew those who were certain to an hour; then fell a laughing at a silly inexperienced creature, who was a month above her time. Upon her husband's coming in, she put several questions to him; which he, not caring to resolve, "Well," cries Lucina, "I shall have 'em all at night."-But lest I should seem guilty of the very fault I write against, I shall only entreat Mr. Spectator to correct such misdemeanors.

No. 431.]

THOMAS MEANWELL.'

Tuesday, July 15, 1712.
Quid dulcius hominum generi a natura datum est,
Tull.

quam sui quique liberi?

What is there in nature so dear to a man as his own

children?

the several unhappinesses of life, and comI HAVE lately been casting in my thoughts paring the infelicities of old age to those of due to the negligence and misconduct of infancy. The calamities of children are parents; those of age to the past life which led to it. I have here the history of a boy and girl to their wedding-day, and I think I cannot give the reader a livelier image of the insipid way in which time uncultivated passes, than by entertaining him with their authentic epistles, expressing all that was remarkable in their lives, till the period of their life above-mentioned. The sentence at the head of this paper, which is only a ture so dear as a man's own children to warm interrogation, What is there in nahim?' is all the reflection I shall at present make on those who are negligent or cruel in the education of them.

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I am now entering into my one and twentieth year, and do not know that I had one day's thorough satisfaction since I came to years of any reflection, till the time they say others lose their liberty-the day of my marriage. I am son to a gentleman of a very great estate, who resolved to keep me out of the vices of the age; and, in order to it, never let me see any thing that he thought could give me any pleasure. At ten years old I was put to a ed orders every post to use me very severegrammar-school, where my master receivly, and have no regard to my having a great estate. At fifteen I was removed to the university, where I lived, out of my father's want, till I was big enough to be married, great discretion, in scandalous poverty and and I was sent for to see the lady who sends you the underwritten. When we were put together, we both considered that we could not be worse than we were in taking one another, and, out of a desire of liberty, entered into wedlock. My father says I am another gentleman. I am, sir, your most now a man, and may speak to him like

humble servant,

RICHARD RENTFREE.'

'MR. SPEC, I grew tall and wild at my mother's, who is a gay widow, and did not care for showing me, till about two years and a half ago; at which time my guardianuncle sent me to a boarding-school, with orders to contradict me in nothing, for I had been misused enough already. I had not been there above a month when, being in the kitchen, I saw some oatmeal on the

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