314

CHAPTER THIRD.

THE LAW OF PARENTS.

THE adaptation of the physical and moral laws under which man is placed, to the promotion of human happiness, is beautifully illustrated in the relation which exists between the law of marriage and the law of parent and child. Were the physical or moral conditions of marriage different in any respect from those which exist, the evils which would ensue would be innumerable. And, on the contrary, by accurately observing these conditions, we shall see that they not only contain a provision for the well-being of successive generations, but also establish a tendency to indefinite social progress.

For instance, we see that mankind are incapable of sustaining the relation of parent until they have arrived at the age of maturity, attained to considerable knowledge and experience, and become capable of such labor as will enable them to support and protect their offspring. Were this otherwise, were children liable to become parents— parent and child growing up together in physical and intellectual imbecility-the progress of man in virtue and knowledge would be impossible, even if the whole race did not perish from want and disease.

Again, the parent is endowed with a love of his offspring, which renders it a pleasure to him to contribute to its welfare, and to give it, by every means in his power, the benefit of his own experience. And, on the contrary, there is in the child, if not a correspondent love of the parent, a disposition to submit to the parent's wishes, and to yield (unless its instincts have been mismanaged) to his authority. Were either of these dispositions wanting, it is evident that the whole social system would be disarranged, and incalculable misery entailed upon our race.

Again, it is evident that civil society is constituted by the surrender of the individual's personal desires and propensities to the good of the whole. It of course involves the necessity of self-restraint-that is, of habitual self-government. Now, in this point of view, the domestic society is designed to be, as has been frequently remarked, the nursery for the state.

Thus, the parent being of an age and having experience sufficient to control and direct the child, and being instinctively impelled to exert this control for the child's benefit; and the child being instinctively disposed to yield to his authority, when judiciously exerted; the child grows up under a system in which he yields to the will of another, and thus he learns at home to submit to the laws of that society of which he is soon to become a member. And hence it is that the relaxation of parental authority has always been found one of the surest indications of the decline of social order, and the unfailing precursor of public turbulence and anarchy.

But still more, it is a common remark, that children are influenced by example more readily than by any other means. Now, by the marriage constitution, this principle of human nature is employed as an instrument of the greatest possible good. We stated that the basis of the marriage covenant is affection, and that it supposes each party to prefer the happiness of the other to its own. While the domestic society is governed by this principle, it presents to the children a continual example of disinterestedness and self-denial, and of the happiness which results from the exercise of these virtues. And yet more, the affection of the parents prompts them to the exercise of the same virtues in behalf of their children; and, hence, the latter have before their eyes a constantly operating motive to the cultivation of these very dispositions. And, lastly, as the duty of the wife is submission, children are thus taught, by the example of one whom they respect and love, that submission is both graceful and dignified; and that it in no manner involves the idea of baseness or servility.

1. From these considerations, we learn the relation which exists, by nature, between parents and children. It

is the relation of a superior to an inferior. The right of the parent is to command; the duty of the child is to obey. Authority belongs to the one, submission to the other. This relation is a part of our constitution, and the obligation which arises from it is, accordingly, a part of our duty. It is not a mere matter of convenience or of expediency, but it belongs to the relations under which we are created; and to the violation of it, our Creator has affixed peculiar and afflicting penalties.

2. While this is the relation, yet the motive which should govern the obligation, on both sides, is affection. While the authority to command rests with the parent, and the duty of submission is imposed upon the child, yet the parent is not at liberty to exercise this authority from caprice, or from love of power, or for his own advantage, but from simple love to the child, and for the child's advantage. The constitution under which we are placed, renders it necessary that the parent should exercise this power; but that parent abuses it, that is, he uses it for purposes for which it was not conferred, if he exercise it from any other motive than duty to God, and love to his offspring.

3. This relation being established by our Creator, and the obligations consequent upon it being binding upon both parties, the failure in one party does not annihilate the obligations of the other. If a child be disobedient, the parent is still under obligation to act towards it for its own good, and not to exert his authority for any other purpose. If a parent be unreasonable, this does not release the child; he is still bound to honor, and obey, and reverence his parent.

The duty of parents is, then, generally, to educate, or to bring up, their children in such a manner as they believe will be most for their future happiness, both temporal and eternal.

This comprehends several particulars:

I. SUPPORT, OR MAINTENANCE.

That it is the duty of the parents to keep alive the helpless being whom they have brought into existence, need not be proved. As to the expensiveness of this maintenance, I do not know that any thing very definite can be asserted. The general rule would seem to be, that the mode of life

adopted by the parent, would be that which he is required to provide for the child. This, however, would be modified by some circumstances. If a parent of large wealth brought up his family in meanness and ignorance, so that they would be specially unfitted for the opulence which they were hereafter to enjoy, he would act unjustly. He is voluntarily placing them in circumstances of great temptation. So, on the other hand, if a parent, destitute of means to render his children independent of labor, brings them up, whether male or female, in idleness and expensiveness, he violates his duty as a parent; he is preparing them for a life, not of happiness, but of discontent, imbecility and misery. The latter, owing to the natural weakness of parental affection, is, by far, the most common error, and is liable to become peculiarly prevalent in the social condition of this country. II. EDUCATION.

1. Physical education. A parent is under obligation to use all the means in his power to secure to his children a good physical constitution. It is his duty to prescribe such food, and in such quantity, as will best conduce to their health; to regulate their labor and exercise, so as fully to develop all the powers, and call into exercise all the functions, of their physical system; to accustom them to hardship, and render them patient of labor. Every one knows how greatly the happiness of a human being depends upon early physical discipline; and it is manifest that this discipline can be enforced by no one but a parent, or by one who stands in the place of a parent.

By the same rule, we see the wickedness of those parents who employ their children in such service, or oblige them to labor in such manner, as will expose them to sickness, infirmity, disease, and premature death. In many manufacturing countries, children are forced to labor before they are able to endure confinement and fatigue, or to labor vastly beyond their strength; so that the vigor of their constitution is destroyed even in infancy. The power of the parent over the child, was given for the child's good, and neither to gratify the parent's selfishness, nor to minister to his love of gain. It is not improper to add, that the guilt and the shame of this abuse of the rights of children, are equally

shared between the parent who thus sells his child's health and life for gold, and the heartless agent who thus profits by his wickedness. Nor is this form of violation of parental obligation confined to any one class of society. The ambitious mother, who, for the sake of her own elevation, or the aggrandizement of her family, and without any respect to the happiness of her child, educates her daughter in all the trickery of fashionable fascination, dwarfing her mind, and sensualizing her aspirations, for the chance of negotiating for her a profitable match, regardless of the character or habits of him to whom she is to be united for life, falls under precisely the same condemnation.

2. Intellectual education. A child enters into the world utterly ignorant, and possessed of nothing else than a collection of impulses and capabilities. It can be happy and useful only as this ignorance is dispelled by education, and these impulses and capabilities are directed and enlarged by discipline and cultivation. To some knowledge and discipline the parent has, from the necessity of the case, attained; and, at least, so much as this he is bound to communicate to his children. In some respects, however, this duty can be discharged more effectively by others than by the parent; and it may, therefore, very properly, be thus devolved upon a teacher. The parental obligation requires that it be done either by a parent himself, or that he procure it to be done by another.

I have said that it can, in part, be discharged by the teacher. But, let it be remembered, it can be done only in part. The teacher is only the agent; the parent is the principal. The teacher does not remove from the parent any of the responsibility of his relation. Several duties devolve upon the one, which cannot be rightfully devolved upon the other.

For instance,

1. He is bound to inform himself of the peculiar habits, and reflect upon the probable future situation, of his child, and deliberately to consider what sort of education will most conduce to his future happiness and usefulness.

2. He is bound to select such instructors as will best accomplish the results which he believes will be most beneficial.