Ah! 'tis one big huge rat!

Vat de diable is it he nibbel, nibbel at?" 4. In vain our little hero sought repose;

Sometimes the vermin galloped o'er his nose;
And such the pranks they kept up all the night,
That he, on end antipodes upright,
Bawling aloud, called stoutly for a light.
"Hallo! Maison! Garcon, I say!

Bring me the bill for vat I have to pay !

The bill was brought, and to his great surprise,

Ten shillings was the charge: he scarce believes his eyes. With eager haste he runs it o'er,

And every time he viewed it thought it more.

5. "Vy zounds, and zounds!" he cries, "I shall no pay; Vat! charge ten shelangs for vat I have mange? A leetal sup of porter, dis vile bed,

Vare all de rats do run about my head!"

66

Plague on those rats!" the landlord muttered out; "I wish, upon my word, that

I'll him well that can." pay

"I'll pay him well that can."

I could make 'em scout:

"Vat's dat you say?"

"Attend to me, I pray

Vil you dis charge forego, vat I am at,
If from your house I drive away de rat?"
"With all my heart," the jolly host replies;
"Ecoutez donc, ami ;" the Frenchman cries.
"First, den, Regardez, if you please,
Bring to dis spot a leetal bread and cheese,
Eh bien! a pot of porter, too;

And den invite de rats to sup vid you;

And after-no matter dey be villing

For vat dey eat you charge dem just ten shelang;
And I am sure, ven dey behold de score,

Dey'll quit your house, and never come no more

LESSON XLI.

SAM SMITH'S SOLILOQUY.

FANNY FERN.

Well,

Where's my

1. C.RTAINLY-matrimony is an invention of no matter who invented it. I'm going to try it. blue coat with the bright, brass buttons? The woman has yet to be born who can resist that; and my buff vest and neck-tie, too may I be shot if I don't offer them both to the little Widow Pardiggle this very night. "Pardiggle!" Phoebus! what a name for such a rose-bud. I'll re-christen her by the euphonious name of Smith. She'll have me, of course. She wants a husband-I want a wife: there's one point already in which we perfectly agree.

2. I hate preliminaries. I suppose it is unnecessary for me to begin with the amatory alphabet. With a widow, I suppose you can skip the rudiments. Say what you've got to say in a fraction of a second. Women grow as mischievous as Satan if they think you are afraid of them. Do I look as if I were afraid? Just examine the growth of my whiskers. The Bearded Lady could n't hold a candle to them, (though I wonder she don't to her own.) Afraid? h-m-m! I feel as if I could conquer Asia.

3. What the mischief ails this cravat? It must be the cold that makes my hand tremble so: there- that'll do: that's quite an inspiration. Brummel himself could n't go beyond that. Now for the widow; bless her little round face! immensely obliged to old Pardiggle for giving her quit claim. I'll make her as happy as a little robin.

I'm

4. Do you think I'd bring a tear into her lovely blue eye? Do you think I'd sit after tea, with my back to her, and my feet upon the mantel, staring up chimney for three hours together? Do you think I'd leave her blessed little side, to dan

gle round oyster-saloons and theaters? Do I look like a man to let a woman flatten her pretty little nose against the window-pane night after night, trying to see me reel up street? No. Mr. and Mrs. Adam were not more beautiful in their nuptial-bower, than I shall be with the Widow Pardiggle.

5. Refused by a widow! Who ever heard of such a thing? Well; there's one comfort: nobody'll ever believe it. She is not so very pretty after all: her eyes are too small, and her hands are rough and red-dy:-not so very ready either, confound the gipsy. What amazing pretty shoulders she has ! Well, who cares?

"If she be not fair to me,

What care I how fair she be?"

Ten to one, she'd have set up that wretch of a Pardiggle for my model. Who wants to be Pardiggle 2d? I am glad she did n't have me. mean, I'm glad I didn't have her.

I

LESSON XLII.

THE MAN AND HIS TWO WIVES.

LE FEVER.

1. Ir happened once a certain man

Adopted the illegal plan,

Which still 'mongst heathen men survives,

Of having ('stead of one) two wives;
But not with wisdom, you will say.

Two wives he took: the one was young,
And

grace and beauty round her hung;

The other was an ancient bride,

And walking on life's down-hill side:

They lived together, in one house, And tried their best to please their spouse Each treated him with tender care, Prepared his food and combed his hair. These offices they shared, no doubt, In equal turns, week in, week out. The young wife blushed to have it said, That she had married a gray head; So, when the combing was her share, She slily pluck'd out each white hair. 2. The elder dame was pleased to see Her husband look as old as she; So sought, when dressing up his pate, The black ones to eradicate;

For much she feared each gossip scold Would call him young, and call her old. 3. The worthy man was sadly placed,

His youth despised, his age disgraced;
He found (such things the best befall)
He'd better have no wife at all;
For while each stood up for her right,
He lost his hair, both black and white;
And ere an old man he had grown,
He'd lost the honors of his crown.

MORAL.

Those who would a new wife wed,
Should wait until the other's dead.

LESSON XLIII.

THE BREWER'S COACHMAN.

TAYLOR.

HONEST WILLIAM, an easy and good-natured fellow,
Would a little too oft get a little too mellow;
Body coachman he was to an eminent brewer—
No better e'er sat on a box, to be sure.

His coach was kept clean, and no mothers or nurses
Took that care of their babies he took of his horses,
He had these-ay, and fifty good qualities more;
But the business of tippling could ne'er be got o'er;
So his master effectually mended the matter,
By hiring a man who drank nothing but water.
Now, William, says he, you see the plain case;
Had you drank as he does, you'd kept a good place.
Drink water! quoth William, had all men done so,
You'd never have wanted a coachman, I trow.

They're soakers, like me, whom you load with reproaches
That enable you brewers to ride in your coaches.

LESSON XLIV.

THE OLD HAT.

ANONYMOUS.

1. I HAD a hat-it was not all a hat-
Part of the brim was gone, yet still, I wore
It on, and people wondered, as I passed.
Some turned to gaze; others just cast an eye,
And soon withdrew it, as 'twere in contempt;
But still my hat, although so fashionless,