While his left hand as well as able, His mother happened in, to see "Here she goes-and there she goes!" "Here she goes-and there she goes!" His wife surveyed him with alarm, While curled his very nose with ire That she against him should conspire; And with more furious tone arose The-" Here she goes-and there she goes!" "Lawks!" screamed the wife, "I'm in a whirl! Run down and bring the little girl; She is his darling, and who knows But " "Here she goes-and there she goes!" "Lawks! he is mad! What made him thus Run for a doctor-run, run, run— And Doctor Black and Doctor White, And Doctor Grey, with all your might!" The doctors came, and looked, and wondered, And shook their heads, and paused, and pondered. 66 Then one proposed he should be bled— No! cup him"-"No! trepan him, brother." A sixth would recommend a purge The next would an emetic urge The eighth, just come from a dissection, Quoth he," and wretched was her plight, That' "Here she goes-and there she goes!" "You are all fools!" the lady said— "The way is just to shave his head. Run! bid the barber come anon." 66 Thanks, mother!" thought her clever son; "You help the knaves that would have bit me, But all creation shan't outwit me!" Thus to himself while to and fro His finger perseveres to go, And from his lips no accent flows But-" Here she goes-and there she goes!" The barber came-"Lord help him! what But we must do our best to save him- "A woman never". "There she goes!" "A woman is no judge of physic, Not even when her baby is sick. 66 He must be bled "—" No, no, a blister". "A purge, you mean -"I say a clyster "No, cup him". "Leech him". -"Pills! pills! pills!" And all the house the uproar fills. What means that smile? what means that shiver? The landlord's limbs with rapture quiver, And triumph brightens up his face His finger yet shall win the race; The clock is on the stroke of nine- "I mean the fifty; I never spent an hour so thrifty- "The gentlemen-I mean the two 66 66 "Who ?" Oh, purge me! blister! shave and bleed! For, hang the knaves, I'm mad indeed!" 19.-I REMEMBER, I REMEMBER. REV. R. H. BARHAM. [See page 496.] I REMEMBER, I remember, Both my cheeks in kindliest mood; "Then," said he, "you little fat-head, There's a top because you're good." Grandmamma, a shrewd observer, My new top, and said with fervour, 66 'See what comes of being good." I remember, I remember, On a wet and windy day, One cold morning in December, I stole out and went to play; I remember Billy Dawkins Came, and with his pewter squirt Squibbed my pantaloons and stockings Till they were all over dirt. To my mother for protection I ran, quaking every limb; She exclaimed with fond affection, 20. THE BACHELOR'S LAMENT. H. G. BELL. THEY'RE stepping off, the friends I knew, They're going one by one : They're taking wives, to tame their livesTheir jovial days are done: I can't get one old crony now To join me in a spree; They're all grown grave domestic men, I hate to see them sobered down- I hate to hear them sneering now I care not for their married cheer, And though their wife perchance may have And at the table's upper end Conduct herself with grace I hate the prim reserve that reigns, I hate to see my friend grow vain How strange! they go to bed at ten, They play at whist for sixpences, They never read a word of rhyme, They talk, indeed, of politics, And very quietly, with their wives, They get quite skilled in groceries, And then they all have children, too, And yet you may depend upon't, Alas! alas! for years gone by, And for the friends I've lost, 21.-NOTHING TO WEAR. W. A. BUTLER. MISS FLORA M'FLIMSEY, of Madison-square, (Not the lady whose name is so famous in history, But plain Mrs. H., without romance or mystery), |