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pressed whilst on this circuit ever since. I do not have such meetings as formerly, though the cause of God, and the worth of souls lies as near my heart as ever. What can be the cause, unless out of my sphere? I felt a pain in my right side, and on the seventh day an ulcer, as I suppose, broke in my lungs, and I raised a putrified matter, and was forced to cut my labour 'short the next day through weaknes of body: After this, I had hardly strength to keep up with my appointments; but frequently was obliged to lie upon the bed whilst addressing the people. At length, I got a little more free from my pain, and was in hopes that the raising would cease, and the place heal.
October 24th--25th. After quarterly meeting, I left this circuit, by G's. direction, and proceeded for Litchfield circuit, but did not ask for location, as I wished to go through the year if possible, considering iny engagement, and the nature of my standing.
26th. The methodists being low and lazy here, I walked through the town, and gave notice for meeting, and invited the people; and some ministers, and lawyers, with the people accepted. The second meeting scores could not get in. At Milton, God has begun a' good work. In Kent, the people are hard. New-Milford, Washington, Woodbury, Goshen, Winchester, Bristol, I visited, Some were hard; some were prejudiced; and with some I had comfort; amongst whom were some seventh-day baptists near the last place. In Farmington and Northington, religion seemed low, in the latter, harm was done by the minister opposing the work under brother M. In Granby and Barkhempstead, it is low. Hartland-hollow, once a flaming place for piety, but seems to be diminished greatly, yet of Jate some small quickening. Colebrook and Winstead I 1 visited; in the latter is a large society, but not so much engaged as they used to be. Thus I have got round the circuit--scarce any blessing on my labours, and my mind depressed from day to day.
O F late it hath lain upon my mind that I should not
recover whilst I continued in this sphere of action; and that my ill health came in consequence of not doing what I had felt to be my duty, viz. to travel the continent more at large : and the only remedy to escape and recover from this decline, would be by a, change of air and climate, &c. and as though Providence chose to make use of this means for my recovery, for some end unknown to me. And the more I made it a matter of prayer, that if it were a temptation, it might decrease; but if it were from him, it might encrease ; and the more I think upon it and weigh it as for eternity, the more it increases, and cords of sweet love draw me on.
The thoughts of leaving the circuit without liberty, is somewhat trying, as I had done it once before; and some perhaps may conclude there is no confidence to be put in me. The island of Bermuda, or Georgia, is what I had in contemplation.
Nov. 21-22. Quarterly meeting was in Cornwall; I told brother Batchelor that my mind was under the above trials; he said he was willing I should go. But Garrettson, my spiritual grandfather, would not consent; but offered me a location on the circuit, if I would say I could travel no longer ; but would not consent that I should leave it on any condition at first. I could not say but what I could travel a space longer, and yet apparently but a very little while. At length, I strove to get him to say, if it was the opinion of brother Moriar. ty, that my health was declining, he would not charge me with disobedience at the next conference: he said I must then labour not in my usual way, but like the other preachers, viz. the regular appointments only, and thus indirectly it was left-So I contined on.
27. My strength I think declines.
December 1. I reached my parents again, tarried four days, had two meetings, and told my parents of
my intention of visiting the southern climes. They did not seem to oppose it as I expected; but said, once it would have been your delight to have been received and regularly travelling on a circuit, and now they are willing to receive you, you cannot feel coutented to tarry on a circuit, which if we were to have our choice, it would be to have you continue; then you will have friends, and can come and see us ; but you nzust be your own judge in this matter; weigh it well and act accordingly!
I left my horse, saddle, bridle and watch, in the hands of Nathaniel Phelps, and had some money of a neighbour, viz. my horse, with the mian who came fifteen miles to see me, and gave me a dollar, when I was sick in the Dorth country. Peter Moriarty, the assistant preacher of the circuit, being gone home to wait till God should send snow that he might move his family, it was uncer tain when I could get his judgment respecting my de cline, and there being no probability of my obtaining Garrettson's consent, I was now brought into a straight. Being unable to fulfil the appointments with propriety any longer, I got brother Fox to take them in my stead.
My licence being wrote in such form by Mr. G. it would only serve for the Dutchess and Columbia circuits, so that when he removed me to Litchfield it was good for nothing, so I destroyed it, and of course, now had no credentials to waid me in a strange land. The thoughts of going away under the above difficult circumstances was trying both to my natural desire, and to my faith; yet it appeared to me I was brought into this situation by my disobedience, and the only way would be to obey in future. s:
Dec. 9. A friend, N. P. carried me to Hartford, and being disappointed of shipping I set off on foot for New-Haven, and though weak in body. I went twelve miles, and stopped at a tavern; but it being the freemason lodge night they made such a noise I could not sleep, so I went to a farm house.
Set off at dawn of day, and a man in Meriden saw and knew me, gave me a breakfast and sent a horse with me several miles, so I reached New-Haven that pight, and spoke to a few. The next evening I spoke again, and God gave me favour in the sight of some. At length I set sail for New-York and making a mig
take as the passengers, divided when going on board, 1 carried away two bottles which belonged to the other packet where my things were; and on our arrival I paid the damage of the porter which the people drank up without my consent. However they were so kind as to rummage my things and write in my journals some scurrilous language belonging to sea-faring people. Af ter my landing I went to my old home at the house of brother Jeffery. I took the advice of several physicians, whose advice it was to go. And finding a vessel bound to Bermuda, was denied a passage on account of my religion ; but Captain Peleg Latham, going to sail for Savannah, offered to take me and throw in a fifth part of my passage, considering the cause of my going.
Through Dr. Johnson's books, I had procured my horse, got some religious hand-bills printed, containing rules for holy living, &c. paid my passage, and had about one dollar and a half left me, eighteen dollars still being in G 's hands. My friends made out my provisions. My cough and weakness increase.. I am more than ever sea-sick. I said, to tarry is death, to go I do but die. - Jan. 3rd, 1802. I am in lat. 34 deg. 38 min. long, 76. deg. 2 min. My cough has almost left me ; but my raising continues. The people are as kind and civil as I could expect from the circumstances. Natural and buman prospects appear dark; what is before me I know not; my trust is in God. I have but one to look to or rely upon in this undertaking. My trials are keen-ipdeed it is a trial of my faith to go, but Jesus is precious to my soul on this roaring sea. The winds these four day's past are contrary.
There is but one in all Georgia that I know, I have seen before Hope Hull, my spiritual father: and to him I never spoke. My mind was tried by the enemy of souls.; something within said, you will see such good days no more : the openings and favours you have bad are now gone, and as it were death awaits you.. But one evening, wher, thus tried, when lying down, a thought arose, why, have I not as great a right to expect favours from God now, as in days that are past and gone. Immediately hope and faith began to revive, - M a vie dans
and my heart to be drawn out in prayer. Soon after, the wind came fair, and we run from five to nine miles au hour, till we had run our latitude. On our way, a whale played round our veggel for an hour or two.
Jan. 0. Saw land-it being foggy, did not venture into port. The night following found we had but about two fathoms of water, as we sounded to cast anchor upon a hollow shoal; it being then high water, the cap. tain began to prepare the boats to flee; the noise awaked me up-saw the people terrified and preparing to escape. I began to examine whether I was sorry I had some, or was prepared to die-felt great inward peace, and no remorse, and fell asleep again; but their ado soon awaked me: I dressed myself, sung an hymn, and lay down. I observed some praying, and one man re. proving another, saying, it is no time to swear now soon the vessel struck, the cable they cut off at five blows, and hoisted a sail, leaving the anchor, and the tide carried us through a narrow place into deep water, striking twice on the way -just before, was a smart breeze, but now a calm. Through this medium, by the providence of God we escaped. Gladness appeared on every countenance, and soon drinking, cursing, swearing, and taking God's name in vain, appeared on the carpet. My heart was grieved to see this, and I could but reprove and counsel them..Oh, how frequently will people be frightened in danger and deny it afterwards !
az .7, Fog continued till afternoon, then got a pilot, and anchored in the river at night.
Friday 8th. I landed in Savannah, and walked through the town, I found a burying ground, and the gate being down, I went in, and spent an hour or two in thanksgiving and prayer for my deliverance, and a prosperous journey.--Oh, the poor blacks! a boat of them with some white people came along side of our Vessel : my heart yearns when I view their sable faces and condition. I inquired for methodists, and found no regular ones in town. But one of Hammet's party, Adam C. Cloud, a preacher, whom I did not know at first, gave me the liberty of his preaching-house that night, in which I spoke to about seventy whites and .