virgins, they are not such in reality--any more than base metal is genuine. And notwithstanding they may deceive a man until the marriage knot is tied, that imposition may be known in future, Deut. xxii. This being the case, it is impossible for the man to love her as he ought, or otherwise would: here is a source from whence misery flows in the very beginning; as Solomon saith, Prov. xii. 4. "A virtuous woman is a crown (or ornament) to her husband-but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.". He must know that one person at least knows this as well as himself; this causes him to be ashamed, while she becomes as rottenness in his bones; for the impression is not easily worn off. I hope these observations will not be forgotten by my female readers, whose VIRTUE yet remains clear and sound as the crystal glass. 2d, God has placed the man as governor in the family, and he is stiled, "the head of the woman," Eph. v. 23. Now there are some women, though they promise "to live after God's ordinance,' are not willing to do it, but wish to be head themselves; (according to the vulgar saying, put the petticoat on the MAN, and wear the breeches themselves) claiming SUPERIOR EQUALITY*-whatever is to be done, they must give directions-the man, durst not bargain without leave, and if he does his wife's tongue runs as though it would never stop. What does it argue? It argues GREAT straight I, and little crooked u--that the woman thinks herself possessed of great wisdom, and her husband ignorant in the extreme; and sets him aside as a mere cypher. But so far is this from being a trait of wisdom, that it proves the reverse; for a wise woman will reverenec and obey her husband 99 Whip MY dogs because MY dogs did not watch MY according to Eph. v. 22, 23. 1 Pet. iii. 1. More. over it argues self importance to see people climb. ing to the high seat of power where they have no business. Self-importance flows from ignorance. If the man is a man of sense and spirit, he is not willing to give up that which properly belongs to him, viz. the rein of government, of course the contest which begins in words frequently ends in blows. Thus many women by assuming to themselves a prerogative which does not belong to them, make UNHAPPY FAMILIES.-Women by indulging a mean opinion of their husbands, become ashamed of them; but this can happen in no case where there is not a wount of information and judgment. If you stoop in marrying him, do not indulge the thought that you added to his respectability; never tell him "you lifted him out of the ashes," for it will be hard for you to extricate yourself from this difficulty. If you stooped of necessity because you could get no one else, the obligation is on your own side. And if you could get a better companion why did you marry him? If you stooped of choice, who ought to be blamed but yourself? Besides, it will be well to remember when you became his wife he became your head, and your supposed superiority was buried in that voluntary act." sd, There are many young women, who in order to marry well, appear very mild, very affectionate, and very decent in their persons, houses, &c. (frequently using an air of affection, and speaking with faultering voices.) Some young gentleman wishing to get a companion of this description, offers his hand to one of these "jackdaws dressed in peacock feathers"--the nuptials are celebrated, her wishes are answered, the cloak is laid aside, and she soon appears what she is in reality. The innocency of the lamb is lost in the fierceness of the lion; the affection of the dove in the cruelty of the ostrich; and the cleanliness of the sheep in the filthiness of the swine. These properties are bad in the abstract, but far worse when they meet together.Filthiness is the fruit of laziness. Go to the house where a lazy woman bears rule; examine the floor, the furniture, the bedding, the linen, the children, and last of all herself, and see what an agreement throughout the whole-every thing is out of fix; and if she is a professor of religion, you may, without erring far, form a rational judgment of the state of her soul, from the appearance of her body. Laziness is inconsistent with the gospel of Christ, and with the spirit of Christianity; for St. Paul told the Thessalonians to note such a man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed," 2 Thess. iii. 14.— Moreover, a lazy Christian is as great a solecism as an honest thief, a sober drunkard, a chaste harlot, or a holy devil. But it may be askedwhat are the evils which accrue from dirty houses, &c. I answer, 1st. If a gentleman or lady visits you, they have no appetite to eat or drink in your houses; and what are your feelings when you are certain of the cause? 2d, They can have no satisfaction in your beds, they smell so offensive, and are so infested with hungry night walkers, which thirst for human blood. 3d, The very disagreeableness of the air causes them to wish to make their escape, lest they should be seized with putrid or malignant fevers, which might terminate in death. 4th, Many diseases originate therefrom, which are productive of the most fatal consequences to the family. 5th, Thereby you transmit a curse to your children; for the children in common pattern after their parents-and as they do with you, so will they do when they get to themselves. Therefore, says one, Take care of the breed." There is no excuse sufficient to justify those who are able to work, and live in dirt, where water is plenty, and may be had for nothing. Therefore I would advise all persons who value their health, to shun such places as they would a city where the plague is in full rage.~ Now if a man is thus taken in, how can he be happy, provided he has never been accustomed so to live? And if he has; by seeking a woman from whom he expected better things, he clearly evinces his dissatisfaction in that manner of life. But finding out the deception, he has no heart to work; takes to drink to drown his sorrow: here we behold another cause of family misery, or unhappy marriages. 4thly, It sometimes is the case, that the wife for want of due consideration, as it relates to his constitution and inclination, treats him as an husband with neglect; which makes a bad impression on his mind that is not easily crased, but tends to wean his affections from her, and exposes him to the temptation of others; till she becomes a burden, and he wishes her out of the way as a rival. Thus she is blind to her own happiness, and procures her own destruction.Quitting this, I pass on to the third thing under consideration. In which I am to point out some complex cases, in which either party may be guilty. And 1st. That odious practice of talking about each other behind their back, and endeavouring to expose each other's faults to the world. If they are one flesh, he that exposes his wife exposes himself also. How then can the family be respectable? This comes to her ears, and she feels disposed to retaliate, and presently the whole neighbourhood is filled with things which ought never to have been known, only by themselves.Men and women both have their foibles; therefore ought to look over each other's faults, and put the best construction possible on each other's conduct, and exercise that charity which thinketh no evil. Therefore should never unnecessarily expose each other's faults, but support each other's character as far as truth and propriety will admit. St. James saith, the tongue is full of deadly poison, and sets on fire the course of nature." Need we wonder then if it sets on fire whole families where it is not curbed? 2d, Sometimes it is the case that one of them has been married before. I'll say the woman Her present husband treats her well, but if at any time she gets crossed, she cries out: ah, I once had a husband, he did not treat me as you do; there never was such a man as he was, but he is gone now."* And as apt as not tell fifty lies about his goodness before she stops and more than likely her present husband is better than the first ever was. Now it is very certain that this makes a bad impression on the mind, and if it is not done purposely to hurt feelings, the best apology which can be made for such conduct is weakness or ignorance.Whatever women or men think in such cases, if they value their peace, they should keep their thoughts in their own breasts. For a small nee dle may occasion a great deal of pain if stuck in the heart. And "behold! how great a matter a little fire kindleth." Such a line of conduct as the above, cannot but chill the affection of your companion towards you of course, as he esteems or disesteems you, so his treatment towards you will be. : 3d. There are instances of one or the other's could not forgive God Almighty-but wept night and day at the grave. The recruiting sergeant strove to soothe her apparently in vain at first: ideas were formed fayor. able-when he to be off, observed that he was a deserter from the army, and an hundred pounds were offered to any one who would place his head on a pole at the fork of the roads, &c, She replied, we will dig up my husband, and cut off his head, and place it on the pole, and they will think 'tis yours, and give over the searchand many a such "cut off my husband's head," there is immediately after a great fuss. |