Fear thou the wild and horned bull:" he said, in melting ruth," DEATH OF AMPELUS. 0 Cunæus finds out that this is a thing “ beyond belief," and refers us to our natural history for the fact, that the horns of the cerastes partake of the soft nature of those of the snail. What would this cautious critic have said, if the poet had introduced griffin 2 Thus did the phrenzy-smitten mares the prostrate Glaucus trampling tear, t,i ? And thus the horse of winged hoofs cast down Bellerophon from air : But herds are mine when shepherds pipe in leafy green retreat, Thou shalt bestride a lovely bull with gallant lofty seat; Thy king be sure will praise thee more, thy king of horned brow, When on the god-resembling bull he sees thee mounted now, Safe such a courser; fear him not; which e'en a virgin rides, Grasping the horn instead of rein, she prances through the tides." Persuasion gilds the speech ; in air the spectral stripling glides. And sudden from a neighbouring cliff a bull loose-roaming burst, With open mouth and lolling tongue he stoop'd and slaked his thirst; Then stood, as rational, before the youth who nearer drew, Nor toss'd his horn, but placid gazed, as he his herdsman knew. The boy adventurous climb’d, and sate upon the curly head, Stroking with fearless touch the horns that in a crescent spread; The forest-pastured bull inflamed his ardour to command And rein the mountain-ranging beast unyoked by mortal hand. He pluck'd the stems of bulrushes deep-waving in the wind, And woven with twigs and lighter shoots a mimic scourge entwined: He gather'd ivy's flexile sprays, and wreathed them for a rein; And roses culld and dewy leaves to deck and to restrain ; tAnd o'er the forehead daffodils and twisted lilies hung, And round the neck anemones of purple blossom strung. rose. And Bacchus hasten'd like the winds : ev’n Hercules was slow, death. tear? Though ears are mine, yet they are deaf to thy bewailing cry; Though eyes are mine, I see thee not in this thy heart-broke agony; Give o'er thy grief; in vain beside her banks the Naiad weeps ; Narcissus' ear is dull and cold; in deathly waters calm he sleeps!”” VIDA. THE ACADEMY OF TASTE FOR GROWN GENTLEMEN, OR THE INFANT CONNOISSEUR'S GO-CART.' BY JÁNUS WEATHERCOCK, ESQ. a No. I, not to be continued. Tristram Shandy. Tristram Shandy again. I BELIEVE that theory and prac- fickle and wavering as “Giralda, that tice are the two'great original warring famous giantess of Seville."* But elements . Fire and water have sym- still he perseveres! and though I pathetic particles, and lie open to a firmly believe he never will bring sort of reconcilement, but theory and about this match, I am equally sapractice-practice and theory-turn tisfied that, if it is to be accomplished them, and twist them, and beat during this generation, he is the man. them, and pound them, as much as This last paragraph, that is, this you please, and when all's done, first paragraph, has more utility in it away they roll asunder in their un- than any thing I ever penned—if you social , unadulterate completeness, like apprehend it, and pull it, and stretch those confounded globules of quick- it,--and put your hand into it.—and silver which get out of your weather- don't be afraid of hurting it, I war. glasses, and worry little boys, whose rant it tough as-as- India rubber, combinative impulses begin to be ob- or let this comparison be- lest we jective. There is Mr. *****, who go farther and fare worse. O it is a knows more about painting and paint- seed, which set in good moist soil ings than all the Academy together would sprout up into whole royal (make three exceptions) --well Sir! quartos a philosophical Fortunahis whole lite has been employed in tus's purse! weighing these two things, one Yet I could give it an unmendable against the other, and strenuously en- slit. Shall I? No! for, whatever deavouring to achieve a horizontal rotten planks compose my flooring, “ a hair will do it!" in goes the hair ingratitude, if I know myself (O riand up goes ove scale to the heavens ! diculous "if?!) hath not place there; “Whew! There's something wrong and that paragraph hath served me about the scales!” and he rectifies and for a tolerably decent opening. I rectifies them as if they were spirits of amend my epithet; 'tis an excellent wine. “Now we have it!”-Lacka- opening,-excellent because approdaisy !." How? - Great Genius of me- priate, as I shall demonstrate in a taphysics ! but I spy au adventitious minute after, just insisting that the flaw in the wall, it's the wind that power of grasping and penetrating comes through that crack which turns propriety, in its high original sense, my and the putty is applied in- is the absolute key-stone of genuine stanter!-He turns (a voluntary Sisy- criticism. I dare say, gentlemen and phus) with fresh hope to his dear ladies, this seems to you like a selftorment, his cherished Nessus's shirt evident proposition; but if you will still it singeth its old tune. just take the trouble to, scrutinize Here we go up, up, up, some of our Reviews, I trust the reAnd here we go down, down, down a, mark will not be deemed impertinent: a * Vide Don Quixote's colloquy with the knight of the looking-glasses. 1 have you looked Sir? Ah! you pen filled with ink, but my conceit quite agree with me I see! your per- (I have not the vanity to affect a ceptions are extremely delicate and fancy, much less an imagination) acute. Now for the appropriateness, goes round like a whirligig, and then which you must be told arises out of shoots away in the very direction it its perfect reverse--pray Sir! don't should not. Our dear Editor is quite jump off the chair and run to the accustomed to this chance-medley door, I am not mad method (that's a superlatively wrong word! I wish you'd blot it, and inMy pulse as yours doth temperately keep sert a fitter) and dreams not of investime, tigating nicely my intentions, or raAnd makes as healthful music. ther my probabilities, but blandly en(By the bye, the present I am not quires " if there will be any thing for must be changed into the imperfect the next?"-What this present may I was not, what time you shall wield produce it is quite impossible to say. the ivory liberator of our close shut 1 had made up for the Dulwich Galwisdom.) "Arises out of its perfectlery, therefore I rather suspect the reverse," I think I said then comes crack-club, traveller's room, at the your quomodo ?” Thus, sweet Sir! White-horse Cellar, may be drawn You are aware, doubtless, that every from their cosey box in the corner for overture to an opera (I don't mean the amusement of the London's ConiEnglish ones) contains, or is believed tractors. * But it is absolutely neto contain, (which is just the same to cessary for my character as a logical me in this sentence) certain forebod- reasoner that I make out my propoings, prophecies, warnings of the sition; and how it is to be done I musical events, the harmonious main know not-except I cut off all symaction: which indications, and prog- pathetical connection betwixt the nostic notes, stand in the same re- foregoing and the hereafter of my lation and likeness to their after de- agreeable paper, in which case the velopment, as do the lightly-fleeting ins and the aps coalesce, and shine bloom-flowers to the red-gold harvest out as clear as the stars in the conof plumpy fruit. stellation Ariaphlistron!! This theory of the mutual depen- We have been repeatedly told that dences of the opera and its overture many worthy folks would collect and is the same with my theory of the patronize genuine engravings and subject of an article (supposing, just etchings if they did but know how to for the sake of argument, an article begin; therefore, for the joint advanto have a subject, which is not al- tage of the said well-disposed perways the case; though that's neither sons, ourself the LONDON MAGAhere nor there :)-would you, dear ZINE ESTABLISHMENT, and Messrs. Dr. examine my cranium ? and per- Colnaghi, Hurst, Molteno, Smith, haps we may light on the confounded Woodburne, &c. we pronounce the Jack-o'-the lantern bump, whence collectaneal fundaments to be, first, spirt and squirt all these impedimen- a pair of shears, thirteen inches long: tal excrescences, these parentheses? secondly, a ream of tinted paper But I can't stop now, because I have (there is great variety at Heath's): a sentence getting cold, therefore I and thirdly, a - few loose himdreds. write, “and its proemium,” which (We'll not say thousands, lest beginthree words make it warm and air- mers be daunted.) tight, Next it will be well to determine This theory is my delight and my on the nature of your design, whether night-mare. Its beauty begets my the collection shall be artistical or colJove, and my incapacity to obey its lectorical bir If the latter, have a coat commands drives me crazy. my constructed with pockets, enough practice is like Mr. M.'s mouth, “ail strong and spacious, to hold the sixon the other side." In vain I resolve teen volumes of Bartsch krise at and resolve this shall be on Mr. six in the morning, couch not till Angerstein's collection-this on Raf- twelve; and at the end of forty years faëllo!--this on modern embellished and as many thousand pounds, you books !—and so on. No sooner is my shall have some eight tomes of said To contract is to take in, whence the substantive Contractors, people who take in any thing or body, such as magazines, horses, single gentlemen, and the like. |