The Plays of William Shakespeare

This child of fancy, that Armado hight,

For interim to our studies, shall relate,
In high-born words, the worth of many a knight
From tawny Spain, lost in the world's debate.

How you delight, my lords, I know not, I;
But, I protest, I love to hear him lie,
And I will use him for my minstrelsy.

Biron. Armado is a most illustrious wight,
A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight.
Long. Costard the swain, and he, shall be our
And, so to study, three years is but short. [sport;
Enter Dull, with a letter, and Costard.

Dull. Which is the duke's own person?
Biron. This, fellow; What would'st?

Dull. I myself reprehend his own person, for I am his grace's tharborough: but I would see his own person in flesh and blood...

Biron. This is he.

King. A letter from the magnificent Armado. Biron. How low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.

Long. A high hope for a low having: God grant us patience!

Biron. To hear? or forbear hearing? Long. To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or to forbear both.

Biron. Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us

cause to climb in the merriness.

Cost. The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta. The manner of it is, I was taken

with the manner.

Biron. In what manner?

King. with a child of our grandmother Eve, a female; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a noman. Him I (as my ever esteemed duty pricks me on) have sent to thee, to receive the meed of punishment, by thy sweet grace's officer, Antony Dull; a man of good g repute, carriage, bearing, and estimation.

Dull. Me, an't shall please you; I am Antony Dull.

King. For Jaquenetta, (so is the weaker vessel call. d, which I apprehended with the aforesaid swain,) I keep her as a vessel of thy law's fury; and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted and heart-burning heat of duty, Don Adriano de Armado.

Biron. This is not so well as I looked for, but the best that ever I heard.

King. Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah,

what say you to this?

Cost. Sir, I confess the wench.

King. Did you hear the proclamation?

Cost. I do confess much of the hearing it, but

little of the marking of it.

King. It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken with a wench.

Cost. I was taken with none, sir; I was taken with a damosel.

King. Well, it was proclaimed damosel.

Cost. This was no damosel neither, sir; she was a virgin. King. It is so varied too; for it was proclaimed virgin.

Cost. If it were, I deny her virginity; I was taken with a maid.

King. This maid will not serve your turn, sir.
Cost. This maid will serve my turn, sir.
King. Sir, I will pronounce your sentence; You

shall fast a week with bran and water.

Cost. I had rather pray a month with mutton

and porridge.

King. And Don Armado shall be your keeper.My lord Biron, see him deliver'd o'er.And go we, lords, to put in practice that

Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.. [Exeunt King, Longaville, and Dumain. Biron. I'll lay my head to any good man's hat, These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.

Cost. It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, Sirrah, come on.

in telling true, but so, so.

Cost.-be to me, and every man that dares not

King. Peace.

fight!

Cost. I suffer for the truth, sir: for true it is, I was taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true girl; and therefore, Welcome the sour cup of prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again, and till then, Sit thee down, sorrow! [Exeunt,

King. So it is, besieged with sable-coloured melan

choty, I did commend the black-oppressing humour to SCENE II. Another part of the same. Armado's Arm. I do say, thou art quick in answers: Thou white and red.

the most wholesome physick of thy health-giving air;

and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to walk. The time when? About the the sixth hour; when beasts

House.

Enter Armado and Moth.

Arm. Boy, what sign is it, when a man of great spirit grows melancholy?

most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down to that nourishment which is called supper. So much for the time when: Now for the ground which; which, I mean, I walked upon it is ycleped thy park. Then for the place where; here; where, I mean, I did encounter that obscene and most preposterous event, that draweth from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest: But to the place, where, It standeth north-north-east and by east from the west corner of thy curious-knotted garden. There did I see that low-spirited swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,

Cost. Me.

Moth. A great sign, sir, that he will look sad. Arm. Why, sadness is one and the self-same thing, dear imp.

Moth. No, no; O lord, sir, no. Arm. How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my tender juvenal

Moth. By a familiar demonstration of the work

ing, my tough senior.

Arm. Why tough senior? why tough senior? Moth. Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal? Arm. I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent

Moth. Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under such colours.

Arm. Define, define, well-educated infant.. Moth. My father's wit, and my mother's tongue, assist me.

Arm. Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty, and pathetical!

Moth. If she be made of white and red,
Her faults will ne'er be known;
For blushing cheeks by faults are bred,
And fears by pale-white shown:
Then, if she fear, or be to blame,
By this you shall not know;

For still her cheeks possess the same,

Which native she doth owe

A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of

heatest my blood.

Moth. 1 am answered, sir.

Arm. I love not to be crossed.

Moth. He speaks the mere contrary, crosses love

not him.

[Aside. Arm. I have promised to study three years with

the duke.

Moth. You may do it in an hour, sir.
Arm. Impossible.

Moth. How many is one thrice told ?

Arm. I am ill at reckoning, it fitteth the spirit

of a tapster.

Moth. You are a gentleman, and a gamester, sir. Arm. I confess both; they are both the varnish of a complete man.

Moth. Then, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of deuce-ace amounts to.

'Arm. It doth amount to one more than two. Moth. Which the base vulgar do call, three. Arm. True.

Moth. Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here is three studied, ere you'll thrice wink and how easy it is to put years to the word three, and study three years in two words, the dancing horse will tell you.

Arm. A most fine figure!

Moth. To prove you a cipher. [Aside. Arm. I will hereupon confess, I am in love: and, as it is base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour of affection would deliver me from the reprobate thought of it, I would take desire prisoner, and ransom him to any French courtier for a new devised courtesy. I think scorn to sigh; methinks, I should out-swear Cupid. Comfort me, boy: What great men have been in love?

Arm. Tell me precisely of what complexion ? Moth. Of the sea-water green, sir.

Arm. Is that one of the four complexions?

Moth. As I have read, sir: and the best of them too.

Arm. Green, indeed, is the colour of lovers; but to have a love of that colour, methinks, Sampson had small reason for it. He, surely, affected her for her wit.

Moth. It was so, sir; for she had a green wit. Arm. My love is most immaculate white and

red.

Arm. Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar.

Moth. The world was very guilty of such a ballad some three ages since: but, I think, now 'tis not to be found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for the writing, nor the tune.

Arm. I will have the subject newly writ o'er, that I may example my digression by some mighty precedent. Boy, I do love that country girl, that I took in the park with the rational hind Costard;) she deserves well.

Arm.

Moth. To be whipped; and yet a better love than my master. [Aside. Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love. Moth. And that's great marvel, loving a light wench. Arm. I say, sing.

Moth. Forbear till this company be past.

Enter Dull, Costard, and Jaquenetta.

Dull. Sir, the duke's pleasure is, that you keep Costard safe and you must let him take no delight, nor no penance; but a' must fast three days a-week. For this damsel, I must keep her at the park; she is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well. Arm. I do betray myself with blushing.-Maid. Jaq, Man.

Arm. I will visit thee at the lodge.
Jaq. That's hereby.

Arm. I know where it is situate.
Jaq. Lord, how wise you are!
Arm. I will tell thee wonders.
Jag. With that face?
Arm. I love thee.

Jaq. So I heard you say.
Arm. And so farewell.
Jaq. Fair weather after you!
Dull. Come, Jaquenetta, away.

[Exeunt Dull and Jaquenetta.

Arm. Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.

Cost. Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a full stomach.

Arm. Thou shalt be heavily punished.

Cost. I am more bound to you, than your fellows, for they are but lightly rewarded.

Arm. Take away this villain; shut him up. Moth. Come, you transgressing slave; away. Cost. Let me not be pent up, sir; I will fast, being loose.

Moth. No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison.

Cost. Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation that I have seen, some shall seeMoth. What shall some see?

Cost. Nay nothing, master Moth, but what they look upon. It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their words; and, therefore, I will say nothing: I thank God, I have as little patience as another man; and, therefore I can be quiet.

Arm.

[Breunt Moth and Costard. I do affect the very ground, which is base, where her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn (which is a great argument of falsehood,) if I love:

Prin. Such short-liv'd wits do wither as they grow.

Who are the rest?

Kath. The young Dumain, a well-accomplish'd
youth,

Of all that virtue love for virtue lov'd:
Most power to do most harm, least knowing ill;

And how can that be true love, which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar; love is a devil: there is no evil angel but love. Yet Sampson was so tempted; and he had an excellent strength: yet was Solomon so seduced; and he had a very good wit. Cupid's butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules' club, and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard's For he hath wit to make an ill shape good, rapier. The first and second cause will not serve And shape to win grace though he had no wit. my turn; the passado he respects not, the duello I saw him at the duke Alençon's once; he regards not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his glory is, to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust, rapier! be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea, he loveth. Assist me some extemporal god of rhyme, for, I am sure, I shall turn sonneteer. Devise wit; write pen; for I am for whole volumes

in folio.

ACT II.

[Exit.

Consider who the king your father sends;
To whom he sends; and what's his embassy:
Yourself, held precious in the world's esteem;
To parley with the sole inheritor

Of all perfections that a man may owe,

Matchless Navarre; the plea of no less weight
Than Aquitain; a dowry for a queen.
Be now as prodigal of all dear grace,
As nature was in making graces dear,
When she did starve the general world beside,

And prodigally gave them all to you.

[mean,

Prin. Good lord Boyet, my beauty, though but
Needs not the painted flourish of your praise;
Beauty is bought by judgment of the eye,
Not utter'd by base sale of chapmen's tongues:
I am less proud to hear you tell my worth,
Than you much willing to be counted wise
In spending your wit in the praise of mine.
But now to task the tasker, Good Boyet,
You are not ignorant, all-telling fame
Doth noise abroad, Navarre hath made a vow,
Till painful study shall out-wear three years,
No woman may approach his silent court:
Therefore to us seemeth it a needful course,
Before we enter his forbidden gates,
To know his pleasure; and in that behalf,
Bold of your worthiness, we single you.
As our best-moving fair solicitor:
Tell him, the daughter of the king of France,
On serious business, craving quick despatch,
Importunes personal conference with his grace.
Haste, signify so much; while we attend,
Like humbly-visag'd suitors, his high will.

Boyet. Proud of employment, willingly I go,

[Exit.

Prin. All pride is willing pride, and your's is so.
Who are the votaries, my loving lords,
That are vow-fellows with this virtuous duke?

1 Lord. Longaville is one.

Prin.

Know you the man?

Mar. I know him, madam; at a marriage feast,
Between lord Perigort and the beauteous heir
Of Jaques Falconbridge solemnized,
In Normandy saw I this Longaville:
A man of sovereign parts he is esteem'd;
Well fitted in the arts, glorious in arms:
Nothing becomes him ill, that he would well,
The only soil of his fair virtue's gloss,
(If virtue's gloss will stain with any soil,)
Is a sharp wit match'd with too blunt a will;
Whose edge hath power to cut, whose will still wills
It should none spare that come within his power.
Pria, Some merry mocking lord, belike; is't so?
Mar. They say so most, that most his humours
know.

And much too little of that good I saw,
Is my report, to his great worthiness.
Ror. Another of these students at that time
Was there with him: if I have heard a truth,
Biron they call him; but a merrier man,
Within the limit of becoming mirth,
I never spent an hour's talk withal:
His eye begets occasion for his wit:
For every object that the one doth catch,
The other turns to a mirth-moving jest;
Which his fair tongue (conceit's expositor,)
Delivers in such apt and gracious words,
That aged ears play truant at his tales,
And younger hearings are quite ravished;
So sweet and voluble is his discourse.

Prin. God bless my ladies! are they all in love;
That every one her own hath garnished
With such bedecking ornaments of praise ?
Mar. Here comes Boyet.

King. Your ladyship is ignorant what it is.
Prin. Were my lord so, his ignorance were wise,
Where now his knowledge must prove ignorance.
I hear your grace hath sworn-out house-keeping:
"Tis deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord,
And sin to break it:

But pardon me, I am too sudden-bold;
To teach a teacher ill beseemeth me.
Vouchsafe to read the purpose of my coming,
And suddenly resolve me in my suit. [Gives a paper.
King. Madam, I will, if suddenly I may.
Prin. You will the sooner, that I were away;
For you'll prove perjur'd, if you make me stay.
Biron. Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
Ros. Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
Biron. I know you did.
Ros.

To ask the question!
Biron.

How needless was it then

You must not be so quick. Ros, 'Tis 'long of you that spur me with such questions. ['twill tire. Biron. Your wit's too hot, it speeds too fast, Ros. Not till it leave the rider in the mire. Biron. What time o'day?

Ros. The hour that fools should ask.

ميرة

Biron. Now fair befall your mask!
Ros. Fair fall the face it covers!
Biron. And send you many lovers!
Ros. Amen, so you be none.

Biron. Nay, then will I be gone.

King. Madam, your father here doth intimate

The payment of a hundred thousand crowns;
Being but the one half of an entire sum,
Disbursed by my father in his wars.

But say, that he, or we, (as neither have,)
Receiv'd that sum; yet there remains unpaid
A hundred thousand more; in surety of the which,
One part of Aquitain is bound to us,
Although not valued to the money's worth.
If then the king your father will restore
But that one half which is unsatisfied,
We will give up our right in Aquitain,
And hold fair friendship with his majesty.
But that, it seems, he little purposeth,
For here he doth demand to have repaid
An hundred thousand crowns; and not demands,
On payment of a hundred thousand crowns,
To have his title live in Aquitain;

Which we much rather had depart withal,
And have the money by our father lent,
Than Aquitain so gelded as it is.

Dear princess, were not his requests so far
From reason's yielding, your fair self should make
A yielding, 'gainst some reason, in my breast,
And go well satisfied to France again.

Prin. You do the king my father too much

We arrest your word:

Boyet, you can produce acquittances,
For such a sum, from special officers
Of Charles his father.

Satisfy me so.

King.
[come,
Boyet. So please your grace, the packet is not
Where that and other specialties are bound;
To-morrow you shall have a sight of them.

King. It shall suffice me: at which interview,
All liberal reason I will yield unto.
Mean time, receive such welcome at my hand,
As honour, without breach of honour, may
Make tender of to thy true worthiness:
You may not come, fair princess, in my gates;
But here without you shall be so receiv'd,

Boyet. A woman sometimes, an you saw her in the light.

Long. Perchance, light in the light: I desire her

name.

Boyet. She hath but one for herself; to desire

that, were a shame.

Long. Pray you, sir, whose daughter ?
Boyet. Her mother's, I have heard.
Long. God's blessing on your beard!
Boyet. Good sir, be not offended:

She is an heir of Falconbridge.

Long. Nay, my choler is ended.

She is a most sweet lady.

Boyet. Not unlike, sir; that may be. [Exit Long,
Biron. What's her name, in the cap 2

Boyet. Katharine, by good hap.

Biron. Is she wedded, or no?

Boyet. To her will, sir, or so.

Biron. You are welcome, sir; adieu!

Boyet. Farewell to me, sir, and welcome to you.
[Exit Biron.-Ladies unmask.

Mar. That last is Biron, the merry mad-cap lord;
Not a word with him but a jest.
Boyet.
And every jest but a word.
Prin. It was well done of you to take him at his
word.
Boyet. I was as willing to grapple, as he was to
Mar. Two hot sheeps, marry!
[board.
Boyet.
And wherefore not ships?
No sheep, sweet lamb, unless we feed on your lips.
Mur. You sheep, and I pasture; Shall that finish
the jest?

Boyet. So you grant pasture for me.

Mar.

[Offering to kiss her. Not so, gentle beast;

My lips are no common, though several they be.
Boyet. Belonging to whom?

Mar.

To my fortunes and me. Prin. Good wits will be jangling: but, gentles,

agree:

[retire

Boyet. Why, all his behaviours did make their To the court of his eye, peeping thorough desire: His heart, like an agate, with your print impressed, Proud with his form, in his eye pride expressed: His tongue, all impatient to speak and not see, As you shall deem yourself lodg'd in my heart, Did stumble with haste in his eye-sight to be; Though so denied fair harbour in my house. All senses to that sense did make their repair, Your own good thoughts excuse me, and farewell: To feel only looking on fairest of fair: To-morrow shall we visit you again. [grace! Methought all his senses were lock'd in his eye, Prin. Sweet health and fair desires consort your As jewels in crystal for some prince to buy; King. Thy own wish wish I thee in every place! Who, tendering their own worth, from where they [Exeunt King and his train. were glass'd, Biron. Lady, I will commend you to my own Did point you to buy them, along as you pass'd. heart. His face's own margent did quote such amazes, Ros. 'Pray you, do my commendations; I would That all eyes saw his eyes enchanted with gazes: be glad to see it.

Biron. I would, you heard it groan.

Biron. Sick at heart.

I'll give you Aquitain, and all that is his,
An you give him for my sake but one loving kiss.
Prin. Come, to our pavilion Boyet is dispos'd-
Boyet. But to speak that in words, which his eye

hath disclos'd:

Ros. Is the fool sick?

Ros. Alack, let it blood.

Biron. Would that do it good ?

I only have made a mouth of his eye,

Ros. My physick says, I.

Biron. Will you prick't with your eye?

By adding a tongue which I know will not lie.
Ros. Thou art an old love-monger, and speak'st

Ros. No poynt, with my knife.

skilfully.

Biron. Now, God save thy life!

Mar. He is Cupid's grandfather, and learns news

Ros. And yours from long living!

of him.

Biron. I cannot stay thanksgiving.

[Retiring.

Dum. Sir, I pray you, a word: What lady is

Ros. Then was Venus like her mother; for her father is but grim.

that same?

Boyet. Do you hear, my mad wenches ?

Boyet. The heir of Alencon, Rosaline her name.
Dum. A gallant lady ! Monsieur, fare you well.

Mar.

No.

Exit.

Long. I beseech you a word; What is she in the

Boyet.

white?

You are too hard for me. [Exeunt. Moth. I will tell you sensibly.

Moth. Concolinel

[Singing. Arm. Sweet air! Go, tenderness of years! take this key, give enlargement to the swain, bring him festinately hither; I must employ him in a letter to my love.

Moth. Master, will you win your love with a French brawl ?

Arm. How mean'st thou ? brawling in French? Moth. No, my complete master but to jig off a tune at the tongue's end, canary to it with your feet, humour it with turning up your eye-lids; sigh a note, and sing a note; sometime through the throat, as if you swallowed love with singing love; sometime through the nose, as if you snuffed up love by amelling love; with your hat penthouselike, p'er the shop of your eyes; with your arms crossed on your thin belly-doublet, like a rabbit on a spit; or your hands in your pocket, like a man after the old painting; and keep not too long in one tune, but a snip and away: These are compliments, these are humours; these betray nice wenches that would be betrayed without these; and make them men of note, (do you note, men?) that most are affected to these.

Arm. How hast thou purchased this experience? Moth. By my penny of observation.

Arm. But O, but O

Moth. the hobby-horse is forgot.

Arm. Callest thou my love, hobby-horse?

Moth. No, master; the hobby-horse is but a colt, and your love, perhaps, a hackney. But have you forgot your love?

Arm. Almost I had.,

Moth. Negligent student! learn her by heart.
Arm. By heart, and in heart, boy.

Moth. And out of heart, master: all those three

I will prove.

Arm. What wilt thou prove?

Moth. A man, if I live; and this, by, in, and without, upon the instant: By heart you love her, because your heart cannot come by her in heart you love her, because your heart is in love with her; and out of heart you love her, being out of heart you cannot enjoy her.

Arm. I am all these three.

Moth. And three times as much more, and yet nothing at all.

Arm. Fetch hither the swain; he must carry me

a letter.

Moth. A message well sympathized; a horse to be ambassador for an ass!

Arm. Ha, ha! what sayest thou ?

Moth. Marry, sir, you must send the ass upon the horse, for he is very slow-gaited: But I go.

Arm. The way is but short; away.

Moth. As swift as lead, sir.

Arm. Thy meaning, pretty ingenious?
Is not lead a metal heavy, dull, and slow?
Moth. Minime, honest master; or rather,

ter, no.

Arm. I say, lead is slow.

Moth.

Re-enter Moth and Costard.

Moth. A wonder, master; here's a Costard broken in a shin.

Arm. Some enigma, some riddle come, thy l'envoy-begin.

Cost. No egma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve in the mail, sir: O, sir, plantain, a plain plantain; no l'envoy, no l'envoy, no salve, sir, but a plantain! Arm. By virtue, thou enforcest laughter; thy silly thought, my spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes me to ridiculous smiling: O, pardon me, my stars! Doth the inconsiderate take salve for l'envoy, and the word, l'envoy, for a salve?

Moth. Do the wise think them other? is not l'envoy a salve?

Arm. No, page: it is an epilogue or discourse, to make plain

Some obscure precedence that hath tofore been sain.
I will example it:

The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Were still at odds, being but three.

There's the moral: Now the l'envoy.
Moth. I will add the l'envoy say the moral again.
Arm. The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,

Were still at odds, being but three:
Moth. Until the goose came out of door,
And stay'd the odds by adding four.
Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow
with my l'envoy.

The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Were still at odds, being but three:

Arm. Until the goose came out of door,
Staying the odds by adding four.

Moth. A good l'envoy, ending in the goose Would you desire more?

Cost. Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth; I will speak that l'envoy.

I, Costard, running out, that was safely within,
Fell over, the threshold, and broke my shin.

Arm. We will talk no more of this matter.
Cost. Till there be more matter in the shin.
Arm. Sirrah Costard, I will enfranchise thee.
Cost. O, marry me to one Frances; I smell

some l'envoy, some goose, in this.

Arm. By my sweet soul, I mean, setting thee at liberty, enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immured, restrained, captivated, bound.

Cost. True, true; and now you will be my pur

mas-gation, and let me loose.

You are too swift, sir, to say so:

Is that lead slow which is fir'd from a gun ?
Arm. Sweet smoke of rhetorick!
[he:
He reputes me a cannon; and the bullet, that's
I shoot thee at the swain..
Moth.

Thump then, and I flee. [Exit.

Arm. A most acute juvenal; voluble and free of grace! By thy favour, sweet welkin, I must sigh in thy

face:

Most rude melancholy, valour gives thee place. My herald is return'd.

K 2

Arm. I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and, in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this: Bear this significant to the country maid Jaquenetta: there is remuneration; [giving him money.] for the best ward of mine onour, is, warding my dependents. Moth, follow. [Exit. Moth. Like the sequel, I. Signior Costard, adieu.

Cost. My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony Jew! [Exit Moth. Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration! O, that's the Latin word for three farthings: three farthings-remuneration. What's the price of this inkle? a penny:-No, I'll give you a remu neration: why, it carries it. Remuneration!

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