Pro. Cease to lament for that thou can'st not Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy, [Exeunt Valentine and Proteus. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Laun. I care not for that neither, because I love crusts. Speed. Item, She is curst. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal. Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor he who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman : but that woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk-maid; yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel, which is much in a barechristian. Here is the cat-log [Pulling out a paper.] of her conditions. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only carry; therefore is she bet-it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and there ter than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter Speed. Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership? Laun. With my master's ship? why it is at sea. Speed. Well, your old vice still; mistake the word: What news then in your paper? Laun. The blackest news that ever thou heard'st. Laun. Why as black as ink, Speed. Let me read them. Laun. Fye on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not read. Laun. I will try thee: Tell me this: Who begot thee? Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Speed. Imprimis, She can milk. Laun. Ay, that she can. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs: and more wealth than faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit,- fore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers Speed. And more faults than hairs, Laun. That's monstrous: O, that that were out! Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious: Well, I'll have her: And if it be a match, as nothing is impossible, Speed. What then? Laun. Why, then will I tell thee, that thy master stays for thee at the north gate. Speed. For me? Laun. For thee? ay: who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him?? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn. Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner? 'pox of your love letters! [Exit. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets!-I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction. [Exit. Laun. And therefore comes the proverb, - Bless- SCENE II.-The same. A Room in the Duke's Palace. Enter Duke and Thurio; Proteus behind. ing of your heart, you brew good ale. Speed. Item, She can sew. Laun. That's as much as to say, can she so? Speed. Item, She can knit. Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will love [you, wench, when she can knit him a stock. Thu. Since his exile she hath despis'd m me most, Speed. Item, She can wash and scour. Forsworn my company, and rail'd at me, 1 Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight. Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not That I am desperate of obtaining her. be washed and scoured. Speed. Item. She can spin. Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Pro. Gone, my good lord. Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks hot so.Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee, Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant How she opposes her against my will. Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was here. [hate. Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. Duke. ke. Where your good word cannot advantage Being entreated to it by your friend. [him, Pro. You have prevail'd, my lord: if I can do it, Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from [him, Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, [kind; Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this For Orpheus' lute was strung with poets' sinews; Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands. 1 Val. Then know, that I have little wealth to A man I am, crossed with adversity: My riches are these poor habiliments, Of which if you should here disfurnish me, 2 Out. Whither travel you? Val. To Verona. 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan. 3 Out. Have you long sojourn'd there? [lose; Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might have staid, If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. [hearse: 2 Out. For what offence ? I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent; 1 Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so. Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy; Or else I often had been miserable. 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat This fellow were a king for our wild faction. [friar, 1 Out. We'll have him; sirs, a word. Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth 1 Out. And I, for such like petty crimes as these. With some sweet concert: to their instruments 2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man, Are you content to be our general? And live, as we do, in this wilderness? 3 Out. What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our Say, ay, and be the captain of us all : 1 Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou diest. offer'd. SCENE II.-Milan. Court of the Palace. Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, Enter Thurio and Musicians. Thu. How now, sir Proteus? are you crept before us? Pro. Ay, gentle Thurio; for, you know, that love Will creep in service where it cannot go. Thu. Ay, but, I hope, sir, that you love not here. Pro. Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence. Thu. Whom? Silvia? Pro. Ay, Silvia, for your sake. Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gentlemen, Let's tune, and to it lustily awhile. Enter Host, at a distance; and Julia in boy's clothes. Host. Now, my young guest! methinks you're allycholly; I pray you, why is it? Jul. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry. Host. Come, we'll have you merry: I'll bring you where you shall hear musick, and see the gentleman that you ask'd for. Jul. But shall I hear him speak? Host. Ay, that you shall. Jul. That will be musick. Host. Hark! hark! Jul. Is he among these? [Musick plays. Host. Ay: but peace, 'let's hear 'em. SONG. Who is Silvia? what is she, That all our swains commend her? Holy, fair, and wise is she, The heavens such grace did lend her, That she might admired be. Is she kind, as she is fair? For beauty lives with kindness: Love doth to her eyes repair, Host. I perceive, you delight not in musick. Host. Hark, what fine change is in the musick! Jul. I would always have one play but one thing. But, host, doth this sir Proteus, that we talk on, often resort unto this gentlewoman? Host. I tell you what Launce, his man, told me, he loved her out of all nick. Jul. Where is Launce? Host. Gone to seek his dog; which, to-morrow, by his master's command, he must carry for a present to his lady. Jul. Peace! stand aside! the company parts. Pro. Madam, good even to your ladyship. Who is that, that spake? [rath, Pro. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's You'd quickly learn to know him by his voice. Sil. Sir Proteus, as I take it. Pro. Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant, Sil. What is your will? Pro. That I may compass yours. Sil. You have your wish; my will is even this, That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows? Jul. 'Twere false, if I should speak it; For, I am sure, she is not buried. [Aside, Sil. Say, that she be; yet Valentine, thy friend, Survives; to whom, thyself art witness, Pro. I likewise hear, that Valentine is dead. Assure thyself, my love is buried. Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth. Sil. Go to thy lady's grave, and call her's thence; Or, at the least, in her's sepulchre thine. Jul. He heard not that. [Aside. Pro. Madam, if your heart be so obdurate, And to your shadow I will make true love. Jul. If 'twere a substance, you would, sure, de ceive it, To help him of his blindness; And, being help'd, inhabits there, And make it but a shadow, as I am. To worship shadows, and adore false shapes, Send to me in the morning, and I'll send it: And so, good rest. [Aside, Host. How now? are you sadder than you were But, since your falshood shall become you well Pro. As wretches have o'er-night, That wait for execution in the morn. [Exeunt Proteus; and Silvia, from above. Jul. Host, will you go? Host. By my hallidon, I was fast asleep. Sil. Who calls? Egl. Your servant, and your friend; Sil. O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman, Nor how my father would enforce me marry for't you shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentleman-like dogs, under the duke's table: he had not been there (bless the mark) a pissing while; but all the chamber smelt him. Out with the dog, says one; What cur is that? says another; Whip him out, says been acquainted with the smell before, knew it a third; Hang him up, says the duke. I, having was Crab; and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs: Friend, quoth I, you mean to whip the dog? Ay, marry, do I, quoth he. You do him the more wrong, quoth I; 'twas 1 did the thing you wot of. He makes no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for their servant? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed: I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't: thou think'st not of this now!-Nay, I remember the trick you served me, when I took my leave of madam Silvia; did not I bid thee still mark me, and do as I do? When did'st thou ses me heave up my leg, and make water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? did'st thou ever see me do such a trick? Enter Proteus and Julia. Pro. Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well, And will employ thee in some service presently. Jul. In what you please; -I will do what I can. Pro. I hope, thou wilt. How now, you whoreson [To Launce. Where have you been these two days loitering? Laun. Marry, sir, I carried mistress Silvia the log you peasant? bade me. Pro. And what says she to my little jewel?.. Laun. Marry, she says, your dog was a cur; and tells you, currish thanks is good enough for such a present. Pro. But she received my dog? Laun. No, indeed, she did not here have I brought him back again. Pro. What, didst thou offer her this from me? Laun. Ay, sir; the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman's boys in the market-places, [plagues. and then I offered her mine own; who is a dog as Egl. Madam, I pity much your grievances; Which since I know they virtuously are plac'd, I give consent to go along with you; Recking as little what betideth me As much I wish all good befortune you. When will you go? Sil. This evening coming. Egl. Where shall I meet you? Sil. Sebastian, I have entertain'd thee, Which (if my augury deceive me notj At friar Patrick's cell, Witness good bringing up, fortune, and truth: Where I intend holy confession. Bet. I will not fail your ladyship: Good morrow, gentle lady. Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee. Go presently, and take this ring with thee, Deliver it to madam Silvia: Sit. Good morrow, kind sir Eglamour. [Exeunt. She loved me well, deliver'd it to me. SCENE IV. The same. Enter Launce, with his dog. Jul. It seems, you loved her not, to leave her token: She's dead, belike. Pro. Jul. Alas! Not so; I think, she lives. Pro. Why dost thou cry, alas! Jul. I cannot choose but pity her? Pro. Wherefore should'st thou pity her? Jul. Because, methinks, that she loved you as When a man's servant shall play the cur with As you do love your lady Silvia: And thinking on it makes me cry, alas! [well cannot keep himself in all companies! I would Pro. Well, give her that ring, and therewithal have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take afault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for't sure as I live he had suffered Jul. How many women would do such a message? To plead for that, which I would not obtain; Yet I will woo for him; but yet so coldly, For Theseus' perjury, and unjust flight;... Sil. She is beholden to thee, gentle youth! her. Farewell. A virtuous gentlewoman, mild, and beautiful. As, heaven it knows, I would not have him speed. Alas, how love can trifle with itself! [Picture brought. Go, give your master this: tell him from me, One Julia, that his changing thoughts forget, Would better fit his chamber, than this shadow. Jul. Madam, please you peruse this letter. Pardon me, madam; I have unadvis'd Delivered you a ou a paper that I should not : This is the letter to your ladyship. Sil. I pray thee, let me look on that again. I will not look upon your master's lines: Jul. Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring. Sil. What say'st thou? Jul. I thank you, madam, that you tender her: Poor gentlewoman! my master wrongs her much. Sil. Dost thou know her? Jul. Almost as well as I do know myself: To think upon her woes, I do protest, That I have wept an hundred several times. Sil. Belike, she thinks that Proteus hath forsook her. Jul. I think she doth, and that's her cause of Sil. Is she not passing fair ? [sorrow. Jul. She hath been fairer, madam, than she is : When she did think my master lov'd her well, She, in my judgment, was as fair as you; But since she did neglect her looking-glass, And threw her sun-expelling mask away, The air hath starv'd the roses in her cheeks,. And pinch'd the lily-tincture of her face, That now she is become as black as I. Sil. How tall was she? Jul. About my stature: for, at Pentecost, When all our pageants of delight were play'd, Our youth got me to play the woman's part, And I was trimm'd in madam Julia's gown; Which served me as fit, by all men's judgment, As if the garment had been made for me: Therefore, I know she is about my height. And, at that time, I made her weep a-good, For I did play a lamentable part; Madam, 'twas Ariadne, passioning Here is her picture: Let me see; I think, ACT V. SCENE I. The same. An Abbey. Egl. The sun begins to gild the western sky. And now, it is about the very hour That Silvia, at Patrick's cell, should meet me. She will not fail; for lovers break not hours, Unless it be to come before their time; So much they spur their expedition. Enter Silvia. See where she comes: Lady, a happy evening! Out at the postern by the abbey-wall; Egl. Fear not: the forest is not three leagues off: If we recover that, we are sure enough. [Exeunt. SCENE II. The same. An Apartment in the Duke's Palace. Enter Thurio, Proteus, and Julia. Thu. Sir Proteus, what says Silvia to my suit? And yet she takes exceptions at your person. Pro. No; that it is too little. [rounder. Thu. I'll wear a boot, to make it somewhat Pro. But love will not be spurr'd to what it loaths. Thu. What says she to my face ? Pro. She says, it is a fair one. [black. ; Thu. Nay, then the wanton lies; my face is Pro. But pearls are fair; and the old saying is, Black men are pearls in beauteous ladies' eyes Jul. "Tis true, such pearls as put out ladies' eyes; For I had rather wink than look on them. [Aside. Thu. How likes she my discourse? Pro. Ill, when you talk of war. |