every-day merit." A happy expreffion! It was for this reafon that I have fo often advised you to establish and domefticate yourself, wherever you can, in good houses of people above you, that you may fee their every-day character, manners, habits, &c. One muft fee people undreffed, to judge truly of their fhape; when they are drefled to go abroad, their cloaths are contrived to conceal, or at least palliate the defects of it: as fullbottomed wigs were contrived for the Duke of Burgundy, to conceal his hump back. Happy thofe who have no faults to difguife, nor weaknesses to conceal ! there are few, if any fuch: but unhappy those, who know fo little of the world as to judge by outward appearances. Courts are the best keys to characters; there every paffion is bufy, every art exerted, every character analyfed jealoufy, ever watchful, not only difcovers, but expofes the mysteries of the trade, fo that even by-ftanders learn there to divine. There too the great art of pleafing is practifed, taught, and learned, with all its graces and delicacies. It is the first thing needful there it is the abfolute neceffary harbinger of merit and talents, let them be ever fo great. There is no advancing a ftep without it. Let mifanthropes and would-be philofophers declaim as much as they pleafe against the vices, the fimulation and dif fimulation of courts; thofe invectives are always the refult of ignorance, ill-humour, or envy. Let them fhow me a cottage where there are not the fame vices of which they accufe courts; with this difference only, that in a cottage they appear in their native deformity, and that in courts, manners and good-breeding make them lefs fhocking, and blunt their edge.No, be convinced that the good-breeding, the tournure, la douceur dans les manières, which alone are to be acquired at courts, are not the fhowifh trifles only which fome people call or think them: they are a folid good; they prevent a great deal of real mischief; they create, adorn, and ftrengthen friendships; they keep hatred within bounds; they promote good-humour and goodwill in families, where the want of good-breeding and

gentleness of manners is commonly the original caufe of difcord.

LETTER CXXIV.

Directions for Conduct and Behaviour in the Company of Great Ferfons...In mixt Companies. .Refpect to different

Chara&ers.

MY DEAR FRIEND,

Greenwich, June the 13th

LES bienséances † are a moft neceffary part of the

knowledge of the world. They confist in the relations of perfons, things, time and place; good fenfe points them out, good company perfects them (fuppofing al ways an attention and a dehre to pleafe) and good policy recommends them.

Were you to converfe with a king, you ought to be as easy and unembarraffed as with your own valet de chambre but yet every look, word, and action, fhould imply the utmost respect. What would be proper and well-bred with others, much your fuperiors, would be abfurd and ill-bred with one fo very much fo. You muft wait till you are fpoken to; you must receive, not give, the fubject of converfation; and you must even take care that the given fubject of fuch conver fation do not lead you into any impropriety. Almost the fame precautions are neceflary to be ufed with Minifters, Generals, &c. who expect to be treated with very near the fame refpect as their masters, and commonly deferve it better. There is, however this dif ference, that one may begin the converfation with them, if on their fide it fhould happen to drop, provi ded one does not carry it to any fubject upon it is improper either for them to speak or be spoken to. In thefe two cafes certain attidudes and actions would be extremely abfurd, because too eafy, and confe quently disrespectful. As for inftance, if you were to put your arms acrofs in your bofom, twirl your fnuff

which

This fingle word implies decorum, good-breeding, and propriety

box, trample with your feet, fcratch your head, &c. it would be fhockingly ill-bred in that company, and, indeed not extremely well-bred in any other. The great difficulty in thofe cafes, though a very furmountable one by attention and cuftom, is to join perfect inward eafe with perfect outward refpect.

In mixed companies with your equals (for in mixed companies all people are to a certain degree equal) greater eafe and liberty are allowed; but they too have their bounds within bienjéance. There is a focial refpect neceffary: you may ftart your own fubject of converfation with modefty, taking great care, however, de ne jamais parler de cordes dans la maison d'un pendu.† Your words, geftures, and attitudes, have a greater degree of latitude, though by no means an unbounded one. You may have your hands in your pockets, take fnuff, fit, ftand, or occafionally walk, as you like: but I believe you would not think it very bienfeant to whistle, put on your hat, loofen your garters or your buckles, lie down upon a couch, or go to bed and welter in an eafy chair. These are negligences and freedoms which one can only take when quite alone: they are injuri ous to fuperiors, fhocking and offenfivefto equals, brutal and infulting to inferiors. That eafinefs of carriage and behaviour, which is exceedingly engaging, widely differs from negligence and inattention, and by no means implies that one may do whatever one pleafes : it only means that one is not to be ftiff, formal, embarraffed, difconcerted, and afhamed, like country bumpkins, and people who have never been in good company; but it requires great attention to, and a scrupulous obfervation of les bienféances: whatever one ought to do is to be done with ease and unconcern; whatever is improper must not be done at all.-In mixed companies alfo, different ages and fexes are to be differently addreffed. Men of a certain age, gravity, and dig ity, juftly expect from young people a degree of deference and regard. You fhould be full as eafy with

Never to mention a rope in the family of a man who has been anged,

them as with people of your own years: but your manner must be different; more refpect must be implied; and it is not amifs to infinuate, that from them you expect to learn. It flatters, and comforts age, for not being able to take a part in the joy and titter of youth. To women you should always addrefs yourfelf with great refpect and attention; their fex is entitled to it, and it is among the duties of bienfeance: at the fame time, that refpect is very properly and very agreeably mixed with a degree of enjouement, if you

have it.

For ex

Another important point of les bienfances, feldom enough attended to, is, not to run your own prefent humor and difpofition indifcriminately against every body: but to obferve and conform to theirs. ample if you happened to be in high good humor, and a flow of fpirits, would you go and fing a pont neuf* or cut a caper, to a la maréchale de Coigny, the Pope's Nuncio, or Abbé Sallier, or to any perfon of natural gravity and melancholy, or who at that time fhould be in grief? I believe not as on the other hand, I fuppofe, that if you were in low fpirits, or real grief, you would not chufe to bewail your fituation with madame Blot. If you cannot command your prefent humor and difpofition, fingle out thofe to converfe with who happen to be in a humor the nearest to your own.

Loud laughter is extremely inconfiftent with les bienféances, as it is only the illiberal and noify teftimony of the joy of the mob at fome very filly thing. A gentleman is often feen, but very feldom heard to laugh. Nothing is more contrary to les bienséances than horfe play, or jeux de main of any kind whatever, and has often very ferious, fometimes very fatal confequences. Romping, ftruggling, throwing things at one another's head, are the becoming pleafantries of the mob, but degrade a gentleman; Giuoco di mare, giuoco di villano †, is a very true faying, among the few true fayings of the Italians.

Peremptorinefs and decifion in young people is conManual wit is the wit of the vulgar.

* Ballad.

trairs aux bienséances: they fhould feldom feem to affert, and always use some mitigating expreffion, which softens the manner without giving up or even weakening the thing. People of more age and experience expect, and are entitled to, that degree of deference.

There is a bienféance alfo with regard to people of the lowest degree; a gentleman obferves it with his footman, even with a beggar in the ftreet. He confiders them as objects of compaffion, not of infult; he fpeaks to neither d'un ton brufque, but corrects the one cooly. And refufes the other with humanity. There is no one occafion in the world in which le ton brusque is becoming a gentleman. In fhort, les bienféances are another word for manners, and extend to every part of life. They are propriety; the Graces fhould attend to complete them; the Graces enable us to do genteely and pleasingly what les bienséances require to be done at all. The latter are an obligation upon every man; the former are an infinite advantage and ornament to, any

man.

Now, that all tumultuous paffions and quick fenfations have fubfided with me, and that I have no tormenting cares nor boisterous pleafures to agitate me, my greatest joy is to confider the fair profpect you have before you, and to hope and believe you will enjoy it. You are already in the world, at an age when others have hardly heard of it. Your character is hitherto unfullied by any low, dirty, and ungentlemanlike vice; and will I hope, continue fo. Your knowledge is found, extenfive, and avowed, efpecially in every thing relative to your deftination. With fuch materials to begin, what then is wanting? Not fortune, as you have found by experience. You have had, and fhall have, fortune fufficient to affift your merit and your industry; and, if I can help it, you never fhall have enough to make you negligent of either. You have, too, mens fana in corpore fanat, the greatest bleffing of all. All therefore that you want, (to complete your exterior accomplishments) is as much in your power to