drink tea with you on Tuesday next, when, I have no manner of doubt, that I will find you in a "PROPER KEY."

[EDINBURGH LITERARY JOURNAL.]

THE CUT DIRECT.

JOSEPHUS Tomkins was one of those unfortunates, on whom a good education and excellent advice are too often thrown away.

His father, observing, with much pain, that at the age of fifteen he had made little progress either in learning or manners, determined on keeping him at school till he had attained his twenty-first year, hoping thereby to give him every opportunity for improvement. At the expiration of this term, Josephus returned to his parents, and brought with him a letter from his schoolmaster, who informed his father that

every method had been tried to make his son a valuable member of society, but that he had so much eccentricity about him, added to such an uncommon degree of carelessness, that he feared he would never distinguish himself by any particular act of greatness.

The extreme fondness, however, of Josephus" parents led them to believe that this account might be somewhat overcharged; and the joy they felt at once more beholding their dear son, for a time dissipated all their fears on the subject.

It was not long before they had reason to change their opinion. During the festivities of Christmas, a large party were invited to dinner to commemorate the birth-day of their eldest daughter, Matilda.

The guests arrived, and were received with all due honour by Mrs. Tomkins and her accomplished daughters. On the announcement of dinner, to the astonishment of his family and every one present, Josephus selected one of the prettiest girls among the company, and, offering her his arm, proceeded at once to the diningroom. In his anxiety to please his fair partner, he contrived to upset a plate of soup in her lap; and when the confusion, occasioned by this mishap, had subsided, he had the misfortune, while turning suddenly round, to run the point of his fork into the eye of his right hand neighbour.

*

Years roiled on, but they conferred not wisdom on our unfortunate hero; indeed he seemed more careless than ever. Still, however, he was so good

natured that his little peculiarities were more than tolerated, his friends observing, that his errors proceeded from the "head, and not from the heart."

*

We come now to the latest particulars we have been able to glean respecting our unfortunate friend. Not to dwell, therefore, on his tumbling over a very choice China tea-service,-tapping a large vat of beer and leaving the cock unturned,leaving the street-door open, while he just "stepped out," during which time the house was entered, and a large quantity of plate stolen,cum multis aliis,-we proceed at once to record his last grand achievement.

Mr. Tomkins having an urgent and unexpected claim on him to a large amount, and being prevented by illness from going to his banker in Lonaon, thought he might venture to send his son, on whose affectionate zeal he knew he could rely. He