strength of body and soul, that I might live to his glory, be active in his service, and useful in the church! I often think, How can my present state work for my good? Yet God has declared it shall, if I love him; and though I by no means love him as I ought, yet I trust I love him a little, and therefore am encouraged to expect the fulfilment of the promise."

At a subsequent time she observes, "I awoke very ill; and being unable to remain in bed, I arose I think before six o'clock, and, with a pious female friend, walked into Queen-square. As we were going along I felt some pleasing sensations, which insensibly drew me out in prayer. The sweetness I felt increased; and by the time I had reached the Square I was praying aloud. My heart was warmed, and presently Jesus was presented to my view as the Saviour of mankind; and then I saw that all my unfaithfulness and ingratitude were nothing in comparison of his love. It appeared so great, that it bore down all before it. I seemed to hear him say, 'Where I am, there shall my servant be.' The fear of hell was instantly removed; and I returned home with very different feelings from those with which I set out. This manifestation was the brightest and most powerful I have ever known, since that which brought me out of darkness into marvellous light.

"On Tuesday, May 13th, 1817, I had been ill for some time past, when the Lord very graciously visited my soul, and assured me that I should be delivered out of the hand of the enemy. The power and sweetness attending this was 30 delightful, that I felt as if I could have borne any affliction, and have passed through death without the least fear or dismay.

"Monday, April 12th, 1824.-I find my mind more free to dwell upon divine things. This delightful retirement from the cares, solicitude, and engagements, of a large and generally afflicted family, suits my weakness. I can return in spirit to the Lord, and find he blesses my soul.

"Saturday, May 13th, 1826.-This day twenty-seven years, I was made happy in the Saviour's love, and found redemption through the blood of Christ. I arose on that morning oppressed with an intolerable burden of guilt and sin; but before noon Jesus manifested himself to me as the Way, the Truth, and the Life,' and made me unspeakably happy in himself. The views I then had of the holiness and extent of the law of God were such, that I was some years before I could persuade myself that what I then experienced was pardon and thorough conversion to God, though all condemnation was removed, and my heart was filled with peace and love. I blended the work of conversion and of entire sanctification together, looking for the experience of a perfect Christian whilst only a babe in Christ. In contemplating the divine mercy and goodness to me, during so long a period, I have been this day led to observe three things: First, my obligations to God, for keeping me in his good way, and saving me from bringing any reproach on his cause: secondly, in preserving me in bereavements from inordinate earthly

grief, through submission to his blessed will; in giving me outward comforts, in rich abundance, during frequent seasons of great suffering, and blessing me with all things necessary for life and godliness: thirdly, that I am determined, through grace, to live and die united to his people, whom I most sincerely and tenderly love. I am a Methodist from principle and deliberate choice; being convinced that the Methodists come nearer to the apostolic church, in doctrine and discipline, than any other denomination of Christians among whom we live. May the blessed Lord keep me to the end!

Tuesday, December 4th, 1827.-For some time past my health has been declining again. I suffer much, and cannot make those exertions which I have done for some months past. I pass through such deep sorrow at times, that I can hardly endure the anguish of my spirit. Sometimes an overwhelming weight of grief seizes me, which I cannot avert; and I feel as if I should actually die of a broken heart. The morbid sensibility of my nervous system rapidly increases; so that any untoward circumstance, which, when in health, I should not feel at all, comes upon me with the weight of a mill-stone, and I feel crushed by it. I believe that all this arises from the dreadful disorder I labour under. If I did not resolutely and conscientiously strive against it, I must long since have sunk under it. What it may ultimately be, I know not. I have had painful forebodings respecting it; but this also I must leave with the Almighty, and seek grace to say in all things, Thy will be done.' The Lord help me so to do. He has promised never to forsake those who trust in him. Glory be to God! Amen.

"Thursday, May 8th, 1828.-Being at Kingswood-Hill for a few days, I am again favoured with retirement from the cares of a family, which I always find a relief to my health and spirits. This morning I was enabled, in a more satisfactory manner than usual, to give my whole self to God, body, soul, and spirit. O that the Lord would take full possession of my heart! I feel such a disposition to seck comfort in the creature, that I carry about with me a heavy cross. I do not wish for such worldly comforts as are forbidden by the word of God; but I look for that comfort in the enjoyment of lawful things, which they do not afford me; and the extreme morbid sensibility of my spirit and frame is such, that continued disappointment causes me most excruciating sufferings both of body and mind. My imagination, also, is completely under the influence of disease. It often reigns over me like a tyrant, representing things as contrary to truth as light is to darkness; and I often get the victory by absolutely contradicting it, and saying aloud to the most lively representations, I will not believe a word of all this. There is no truth in it. I will not yield to it for a moment.' Thus I get freed for a time. I want to enjoy such a rest in God as to exclude this anxious desire of rest in the creature. O for the deliverance! When will it come?"

The following short note forcibly shows, that, notwithstanding the

numerous self-reproaches interspersed through her diary, her heart was right with God, and she was approved of him :—

"May 1st, 1828.-My heart is going out after God, through the influence of divine grace. I long to be spiritually alive; but I know much of spiritual darkness, though not by living in known sin; for when the true light shines into my mind, it makes manifest the darkness I have been in; but it brings no condemnation with it. I can claim Jesus as mine. He is like a beloved friend, who has been absent a long time, with whom all means of communication have been cut off; but who, on his returning, and showing himself again, commands the full tide of love and esteem.

"Thursday, September 18th, 1828.-I have been brought very low, by an unusual attack of my complaint. The first seizure, which was on the 11th of August, was so severe as to threaten instant death; and by repeated slighter ones my strength has been greatly exhausted, and my health has suffered much. My disease, in its present form, produces the most intense anxiety and distress of mind. I endeavour to cast my care on God. Jesus is my only refuge: I trust he will come to my help. My disease rapidly increases. I long to be prepared for my great change; and think it is approaching much nearer than any one is aware of. Lord, I cast my body and soul on thee, for time and eternity. I ought to welcome every cross and every trial; which, I have no doubt, are intended for my eternal benefit. O how much weaning we require from earthly things!

"Sunday, October 12th, 1828.-I had a seizure of my complaint to-day, such as I do not recollect to have felt for years. How terrific these seizures are! To what an extent will these unnatural feelings proceed? and how will they all end? Lord, grant me grace to endure all thy will as becometh a follower of thine! O let me never in my extremity dishonour thee, or bring a reproach on thy blessed cause! I am all helplessness; and I want to feel that Jesus is the strength of my heart, and that he will be my portion for ever.

Sunday, March 29th, 1829.-I have many calls in the increasing infirmities of my frame; many indications of the approaching dissolution of those bonds that unite soul and body. A very small matter would disunite them. Yet, though so slightly held in my case, nothing can separate them till the commission be given from

above.

"May 8th, 1830.-I mourn for an indwelling God. I feel that I am in his hands, and wrought upon by his Spirit. I give myself wholly to Him. Lord, bring me into the liberty of perfect love! I have sometimes taken encouragement from these words, The God of all grace, after that ye have suffered awhile, stablish, strengthen, settle you.' My heavenly Father knows I have suffered long. I now feel a blessed degree of hope, that he is about to stablish, strengthen, and settle me upon the Rock of Ages.

"

Sunday, October 10th, 1830.-I have been sweetly helped in spirit, by reading a part of the 119th Psalm. I feel that I have given my heart to God, and it is, in a good measure, his. Could I commit to paper what my mind often suggests, I should have recorded much of the goodness of God to my soul, within the last six months; but through the affliction of my head, I have been obliged to content myself with very few remarks. My soul tastes oftentimes the fulness of the written word, its spirituality, and saving power. My Saviour answers many inquiries which arise in my mind, by an application of his life-giving word. I prove that the entrance of his word giveth light. O how sweet it is to be guided by its direction!

After again recording the agonized state of her mind, and the consciousness that the possession of that perfect love which casteth out all fear would have materially lessened her sufferings, she observes:—

"April 25th, 1832.-I believe there have been seasons when I have realized this delightful experience; and even now, at times, I have sweet foretastes of this state of grace: but I seem not to know how to hold the little fast till I get more. Through unbelief, it slips away, and the old deadness returns, with double darkness. Then my mind seeks rest, but finds none, and all is desolation. Thus I have been going on for years. Yet I have a strange feeling through all, that my unbelief is not of the heart, but through a weakness of the understanding, occasioned by disease. Lord, decide this by the powerful manifestation of thyself. I feel thankful for a degree of hope.

"May 13th, 1832.-This anniversary has been marked by a deep attention to the glorious communication of grace received by me thirty-two years ago, when my adorable Redeemer manifested himself to my distressed soul, with these words, I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life.' He did indeed open to me a new and living way. The sight of him by faith was truly glorious. He made me a new creature indeed. How has he, to the present day, preserved me from falling! It is all his work: glory be to him! I now, in the strength of his grace, covenant to be his for ever. Lord, seal this covenant with thy Holy Spirit!

"Sunday, October 21st, 1832.-Whilst the people of God are worshipping him in the sanctuary, I have been enabled to worship. him, in some small degree, in my own habitation. The Lord Jesus has helped me by his Holy Spirit to give him my heart. I believe I do offer it to him in sincerity and truth. But nothing can satisfy me till he says to me, in the fullest sense of the word, 'I am thine, and thou art mine.' I want to possess a constant preparation for heaven, and to live daily in the exercise of it. The spirit of fear and apprehension, which almost constantly haunts and follows me, wears my animal spirits down, and produces such exhaustion that I can sometimes with difficulty walk about the house. I want rest of body and mind.

I want repose in the blood of Christ, which I believe would greatly check the agitation of the nervous system. My bodily powers are so fast sinking to decay, through the force of disease, that I have now begun in good earnest to set my house in order, as my strength will allow; that, whether death or total disability be the result of my rapidly increasing pain and weakness, my beloved husband and child may suffer as little loss or inconvenience as possible from such an event, and my own mind be saved from all painful self-reflection. Lord, I am thy child; make me, by thy grace, all that I desire to be, and that thy word requires!"

This is the last entry in her diary, and the closing prayer has been indeed heard and answered; and death, the king of terrors to all who know not God, had not power to cause the slightest emotion of mental distress to her.

On Sunday, the 3d instant, she enjoyed the heartfelt pleasure of being twice in the house of the Lord, with her family. Little did they think, that their next appearance there would be to hear the improvement of her death. But the Lord hath done it; and he has already taught them that he doeth all things well.

Her last illness was short, but severe. On the Tuesday evening she appeared, as often before, to be suffering much, but not so acutely as in former times; and she spent a pleasant evening with a Christian friend. She said to him, "I find in the Lord Jesus Christ every necessary support. I have proved his chastening to be goodness and mercy. If any passage of Scripture has been blessed to me more than another, it is this, 'The Lord is good; a strong hold in the day of trouble; he knoweth them that trust in him.' I have found that passage very encouraging. Great indeed is the comfort of those who trust in the Lord. They are like trees planted by the waters, whose leaves shall not wither."

Early on the Wednesday morning she appeared to be attacked with her old, terrible complaint, the cramp in the stomach; but it did not yield to the remedies formerly employed. Her sufferings continued unabated through the day, and every medical effort to relieve her failed. Still, however, she had no apprehension that her end was near; and, about midnight, when her medical attendants left her, there was an apparent improvement in the symptoms. The message from her Lord had, however, arrived; and, after a short slumber, she gradually grew worse, till ten o'clock on the Thursday morning, when she peacefully escaped to glory. On her daughter asking her, about nine o'clock, whether she knew us all: "O yes," she replied, “I know you all. I am quite sensible." With great energy she added, "Do they think I am dying, then?" To which her child said, "Yes, dearest mother, we think you are; but you find it is not so hard as you expected it would be. You are quite comfortable: you are quite happy are you not?" "Yes, my dear," she replied; "I feel