"If this were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be grand!"
"If seven maids, with seven mops
Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose," the Walrus said,
"That they could get it clear?"
"I doubt it," said the Carpenter,
And shed a bitter tear.

"O Oysters, come and walk with us!"
The Walrus did beseech.
"A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach:

We cannot do with more than four,
To give a hand to each."

The eldest Oyster looked at him,
But never a word he said:
The eldest Oyster winked his eye,
And shook his heavy head-
Meaning to say he did not choose
To leave the oyster-bed.

But four young Oysters hurried up,

All eager for the treat:

Their coats were brushed, their faces washed,

Their shoes were clean and neat

And this was odd, because, you know,

They hadn't any feet.

Four other Oysters followed them,

And yet another four;

And thick and fast they came at last,

And more, and more, and more— All hopping through the frothy waves, And scrambling to the shore.

The Walrus and the Carpenter

Walked on a mile or so,

And then they rested on a rock
Conveniently low:

And all the little Oysters stood
And waited in a row.

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things:

Of shoes-and ships-and sealing-wax-
Of cabbages-and kings-

And why the sea is boiling hot-
And whether pigs have wings."

"But wait a bit," the Oysters cried,
"Before we have our chat;
For some of us are out of breath,
And all of us are fat!"

"No hurry!" said the Carpenter:
They thanked him much for that.

"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
Pepper and vinegar besides

Are very good indeed

Now, if you're ready, Oysters dear,

We can begin to feed."

"But not on us!" the Oysters cried, Turning a little blue.

"After such kindness, that would be A dismal thing to do!"

"The night is fine," the Walrus said. "Do you admire the view?

"It was so kind of you to come!
And you are very nice!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"Cut us another slice:

I wish you were not quite so deaf-
I've had to ask you twice!"

"It seems a shame," the Walrus said,
"To play them such a trick,
After we've brought them out so far,
And made them trot so quick!"
The Carpenter said nothing but
"The butter's spread too thick!"
"I weep for you," the Walrus said:
"I deeply sympathize."

With sobs and tears he sorted out
Those of the largest size,
Holding his pocket-handkerchief
Before his streaming eyes.

66

"O, Oysters," said the Carpenter, "You've had a pleasant run! Shall we be trotting home again?"

But answer came there none-And this was scarcely odd, because They'd eaten every one.

LEWIS CARROLL.

[By kind permission of the author.]

DOMESTIC ASIDES.

"I really take it very kind, This visit, Mrs. Skinner!

I have not seen you such an age(The wretch has come to dinner!)

"Your daughters, too, what loves of girlsWhat heads for painters' easels!

Come here and kiss the infant, dears—

(And give it p'rhaps the measles!)

"Your charming boys I see are home From Reverend Mr. Russell's;

"Twas very kind to bring them both(What boots for my new Brussels!)

"What! little Clara left at home? Well now I call that shabby:

I should have loved to kiss her so(A flabby, dabby, babby!)

"And Mr. S., I hope he's well, Ah! though he lives so handy,

He never now drops in to sup(The better for our brandy!)

"Come, take a seat-I long to hear

About Matilda's marriage;

You're come of course to spend the day!
(Thank Heaven, I hear the carriage!)

"What! must you go? next time I hope
You'll give me longer measure;
Nay-I shall see you down the stairs-
(With most uncommon pleasure!)

"Good-bye! good-bye! remember all,
Next time you'll take your dinners!
(Now, David, mind I'm not at home
In future to the Skinners!")

THOMAS HOOD.

THE GENERAL POST OFFICE.
Many and many a time

Have all—or at any rate most of us—
Shuddered at hearing the chime

Of six at the General Post Office. There have I frequently gone,

But somehow I never met anyone Seemingly glad to put on

A twopenny stamp for a penny one.

Over and over again

Have I hurried for six, and been late for it.

Often too early, and then

I have found it good value to wait for it: Posted my letters in time,

Posted myself in the common aSsembly of people; and I'm

Game to describe the phenomena.

Hundreds and hundreds appear,

Tread on my feet; but if I attacked Any of them, you would hear

Magistrates reading the Riot Act. Here is a cove with a lot;

What do you think, will he miss it or

Is he too early, or what?

Registered. He's a solicitor.

Elderly lady with one

Bet you a penny she never'll

Do it, unless she can run;

Boy from the Gresham with several;

Man with a thousand at least,

Puff of some swindle or sham in them;

All for the country. The beast

Why does he stop to examine them?