ducting and pointing it is the same as in an epigram. It is a miserable thing, after one hath raised the expectation of the company by humorous characters and a pretty conceit, to pursue the matter too far. There is no retreating; and how poor is it for a storyteller to end his relation by saying, 'That's all!'

exact truth. I likewise have a poor opinion of those who have got a trick of keeping a steady countenance, that cock their hats and look glum when a pleasant thing is said, and ask, Well, and what then!' Men of wit and parts should treat one another with benevolence; and I will lay it down as a maxim, that if you seem to have a good opinion of another man's wit, he will allow you to have judgment.

Having given these samples of Steele's composition, we now add some of the best of Addison's pieces :

.

[The Political Upholsterer.]

As the choosing of pertinent circumstances is the life of a story, and that wherein humour principally consists, so the collectors of impertinent particulars are the very bane and opiates of conversation. Old men are great transgressors this way. Poor Ned Poppy-he's gone!-was a very honest man, but was so excessively tedious over his pipe, that he was not to be endured. He knew so exactly what they had for dinner when such a thing happened, in what ditch his bay horse had his sprain at that time, and There lived some years since, within my neighbourhow his man John-no, it was William-started a hood, a very grave person, an upholsterer, who seemed hare in the common field, that he never got to the a man of more than ordinary application to business. end of his tale. Then he was extremely particular He was a very early riser, and was often abroad two in marriages and intermarriages, and cousins twice or three hours before any of his neighbours. He had or thrice removed, and whether such a thing hap- a particular carefulness in the knitting of his brows, pened at the latter end of July or the beginning of and a kind of impatience in all his motions, that August. He had a marvellous tendency likewise to plainly discovered he was always intent on matters of digressions; insomuch, that if a considerable person importance. Upon my inquiry into his life and conwas mentioned in his story, he would straightway versation, I found him to be the greatest newsmonger launch out into an episode of him; and again, if in in our quarter; that he rose before day to read the that person's story he had occasion to remember a Postman; and that he would take two or three turns third man, he broke off, and gave us his history, and to the other end of the town before his neighbours so on. He always put me in mind of what Sir William were up, to see if there were any Dutch mails come Temple informs us of the tale-tellers in the north of in. He had a wife and several children; but was Ireland, who are hired to tell stories of giants and much more inquisitive to know what passed in Poland enchanters to lull people asleep. These historians than in his own family, and was in greater pain and are obliged, by their bargain, to go on without stop-anxiety of mind for King Augustus's welfare than that ping; so that after the patient hath, by this benefit, enjoyed a long nap, he is sure to find the operator proceeding in his work. Ned procured the like effect in me the last time I was with him. As he was in the third hour of his story, and very thankful that his memory did not fail him, I fairly nodded in the elbow chair. He was much affronted at this, till I told him, 'Old friend, you have your infirmity, and I have mine.'

6

But of all evils in story-telling, the humour of telling tales one after another in great numbers, is the least supportable. Sir Harry Pandolf and his son gave my Lady Lizard great offence in this particular. Sir Harry hath what they call a string of stories, which he tells over every Christmas. When our family visits there, we are constantly, after supper, entertained with the Glastonbury Thorn. When we have wondered at that a little, Ay, but father,' saith the son, let us have the Spirit in the Wood. After that hath been laughed at, Ay, but father,' cries the booby again, 'tell us how you served the robber.' Alack-a-day,' saith Sir Harry with a smile, and rubbing his forehead, I have almost forgot that, but it is a pleasant conceit to be sure. Accordingly he tells that and twenty more in the same independent order, and without the least variation, at this day, as he hath done, to my knowledge, ever since the Revolution. I must not forget a very odd compliment that Sir Harry always makes my lady when he dines here. After dinner he says, with a feigned concern in his countenance, Madam, I have lost by you to-day.' How so, Sir Harry?' replies my lady. 'Madam,' says he, 'I have lost an excellent appetite.' At this his son and heir laughs immoderately, and winks upon Mrs Annabella. This is the thirty-third time that Sir Harry hath been thus arch, and I can bear it no longer.

of his nearest relations. He looked extremely thin in a dearth of news, and never enjoyed himself in a westerly wind. This indefatigable kind of life was the ruin of his shop; for about the time that his favourite prince left the crown of Poland, he broke and disappeared.

This man and his affairs had been long out of my mind, till about three days ago, as I was walking in St James's Park, I heard somebody at a distance hemming after me: and who should it be but my old neighbour the upholsterer? I saw he was reduced to extreme poverty, by certain shabby superfluities in his dress; for notwithstanding that it was a very sultry day for the time of the year, he wore a loose greatcoat and a muff, with a long campaign wig out of curl; to which he had added the ornament of a pair of black garters buckled under the knee. Upon his coming up to me, I was going to inquire into his present circumstances, but was prevented by his asking me, with a whisper, whether the last letters brought any accounts that one might rely upon from Bender? I told him, none that I heard of; and asked him whether he had yet married his eldest daughter? He told me no: But pray, says he, tell me sincerely, what are your thoughts of the king of Sweden? for though his wife and children were starving, I found his chief concern at present was for this great monarch. I told him, that I looked upon him as one of the first heroes of the age. But pray, says he, do you think there is anything in the story of his wound? And finding me surprised at the question, Nay, says he, I only propose it to you. I answered, that I thought there was no reason to doubt of it. But why in the heel, says he, more than in any other part of the body? Because, said I, the bullet chanced to light there.

As the telling of stories is a great help and life to This extraordinary dialogue was no sooner ended, conversation, I always encourage them, if they are but he began to launch out into a long dissertation pertinent and innocent, in opposition to those gloomy upon the affairs of the north; and after having spent mortals who disdain everything but matter of fact. some time on them, he told me he was in a great perThose grave fellows are my aversion, who sift every-plexity how to reconcile the Supplement with the thing with the utmost nicety, and find the malignity English Post, and had been just now examining what of a lie in a piece of humour pushed a little beyond the other papers say upon the same subject. The

39

Daily Courant, says he, has these words, We have ad- crown. In compassion to so needy a statesman, and vices from very good hands, that a certain prince has to dissipate the confusion I found he was in, I told some matters of great importance under consideration. him, if he pleased I would give him five shillings, to This is very mysterious; but the Postboy leaves us more receive five pounds of him when the great Turk was in the dark, for he tells us that there are private in-driven out of Constantinople; which he very readily timations of measures taken by a certain prince, which accepted, but not before he had laid down to me the time will bring to light. Now the Postman, says he, impossibility of such an event, as the affairs of Europe who used to be very clear, refers to the same news in now stand. these words: The late conduct of a certain prince affords great matter of speculation. This certain prince, says the upholsterer, whom they are all so cautious of naming, I take to be Upon which, though there was nobody near us, he whispered something in my ear, which I did not hear, or think worthy my while to make him repeat.*

[The Vision of Mirza.]

When I was at Grand Cairo, I picked up several oriental manuscripts, which I have still by me. Among others I met with one entitled 'The Visions of Mirza, which I have read over with great pleasure. I intend to give it to the public when I have no other entertainment for them, and shall begin with the first vision, which I have translated word for word as follows:

We were now got to the upper end of the Mall, where were three or four very odd fellows sitting together upon the bench. These I found were all of them politicians, who used to sun themselves in that place every day about dinner time. Observing them On the 5th day of the moon, which, according to to be curiosities in their kind, and my friend's ac- the custom of my forefathers, I always keep holy, quaintance, I sat down among them. after having washed myself, and offered up my mornThe chief politician of the bench was a great assertering devotions, I ascended the high hills of Bagdat, in of paradoxes. He told us, with a seeming concern, order to pass the rest of the day in meditation and that by some news he had lately read from Muscovy, prayer. As I was here airing myself on the tops of it appeared to him that there was a storm gathering the mountains, I fell into a profound contemplation in the Black Sea, which might in time do hurt to the on the vanity of human life; and passing from one naval forces of this nation. To this he added, that thought to another, Surely, said I, man is but a shafor his part he could not wish to see the Turk driven dow, and life a dream. Whilst I was thus musing, I out of Europe, which he believed could not but be cast my eyes towards the summit of a rock that was prejudicial to our woollen manufacture. He then not far from me, where I discovered one in the habit told us, that he looked upon the extraordinary re- of a shepherd, with a little musical instrument in his volutions which had lately happened in those parts hand. As I looked upon him, he applied it to his of the world, to have risen chiefly from two persons lips, and began to play upon it. The sound of it was who were not much talked of; and those, says he, are exceedingly sweet, and wrought into a variety of Prince Menzikoff and the Duchess of Mirandola. He tunes that were inexpressibly melodious, and altobacked his assertions with so many broken hints, and gether different from anything I had ever heard. They such a show of depth and wisdom, that we gave our- put me in mind of those heavenly airs that are played selves up to his opinions. to the departed souls of good men upon their first arrival in paradise, to wear out the impressions of the last agonies, and qualify them for the pleasures of that happy place. My heart melted away in secret raptures.

The discourse at length fell upon a point which seldom escapes a knot of true born Englishmen : Whether, in case of a religious war, the Protestants would not be too strong for the Papists? This we unanimously determined on the Protestant side. One who sat on my right hand, and, as I found by his discourse, had been in the West Indies, assured us, that it would be a very easy matter for the Protestants to beat the pope at sea; and added, that whenever such a war does break out, it must turn to the good of the Leeward Islands. Upon this, one who sat at the end of the bench, and, as I afterwards found, was the geographer of the company, said, that in case the l'apists should drive the Protestants from these parts of Europe, when the worst came to the worst, it would be impossible to beat them out of Norway and Greenland, provided the northern crowns hold together, and the Czar of Muscovy stand neuter.

He further told us for our comfort, that there were vast tracts of lands about the pole, inhabited neither by Protestants nor Papists, and of greater extent than all the Roman Catholic dominions in Europe.

When we had fully discussed this point, my friend the upholsterer began to exert himself upon the present negotiations of peace, in which he deposed princes, settled the bounds of kingdoms, and balanced the power of Europe, with great justice and impartiality.

I at length took my leave of the company, and was going away; but had not gone thirty yards, before the upholsterer hemmed again after me. Upon his advancing towards me with a whisper, I expected to hear some secret piece of news, which he had not thought fit to communicate to the bench; but instead of that, he desired me in my ear to lend him half-a

*The prince here alluded to so mysteriously was the so-called Pretender, James Stuart, son of King James II.

I had been often told that the rock before me was the haunt of a genius, and that several had been entertained with music who had passed by it, but never heard that the musician had before made himself visible. When he had raised my thoughts by those transporting airs which he played, to taste the pleasures of his conversation, as I looked upon him like one astonished, he beckoned to me, and by the waving of his hand, directed me to approach the place where he sat. I drew near with that reverence which is due to a superior nature; and as my heart was entirely subdued by the captivating strains I had heard, I fell down at his feet and wept. The genius smiled upon me with a look of compassion and affability that familiarised him to my imagination, and at once dispelled all the fears and apprehensions with which I approached him. He lifted me from the ground, and taking me by the hand, Mirza,' said he, 'I have heard thee in thy soliloquies; follow me.'

He then led me to the highest pinnacle of the rock, and placing me on the top of it, 'Cast thine eyes eastward,' said he, 'and tell me what thou seest.' 'I see,' said I, 'a huge valley, and a prodigious tide of water rolling through it.' The valley that thou seest,' said he, is the vale of misery, and the tide of water that thou seest is part of the great tide of eternity.' What is the reason,' said I, that the tide I see rises out of a thick mist at one end, and again loses itself in a thick mist at the other! What thou seest,' said he, 'is that portion of eternity which is called Time, measured out by the sun, and reaching from the beginning of the world to its consummation. Examine now," said he, this

6

sea that is bounded with darkness at both ends, and tell me what thou discoverest in it.' I see a bridge,' said I, standing in the midst of the tide.' 'The bridge thou seest,' said he, is Human Life; consider it attentively.' Upon a more leisurely survey of it, I found that it consisted of threescore and ten entire arches, with several broken arches, which, added to those that were entire, made up the number to about a hundred. As I was counting the arches, the genius told me that this bridge consisted at first of a thousand arches, but that a great flood swept away the rest, and left the bridge in the ruinous condition I now beheld it. But tell me further,' said he, 'what thou discoverest on it.' I see multitudes of people passing over it,' said I, and a black cloud hanging on each end of it.' As I looked more attentively, I saw several of the passengers dropping through the bridge into the great tide that flowed underneath it; and upon further examination, perceived there were innumerable trap-doors that lay concealed in the bridge, which the passengers no sooner trod upon, but they fell through them into the tide, and immediately disappeared. These hidden pitfalls were set very thick at the entrance of the bridge, so that throngs of people no sooner broke through the cloud, but many of them fell into them. They grew thinner towards the middle, but multiplied and lay closer together towards the end of the arches that were entire.

There were indeed some persons, but their number was very small, that continued a kind of hobbling march on the broken arches, but fell through one after another, being quite tired and spent with so long a walk.

The

I directed my sight as I was ordered, and (whether or no the good genius strengthened it with any supernatural force, or dissipated part of the mist that was before too thick for the eye to penetrate) I saw the valley opening at the farther end, and spreading forth into an immense ocean, that had a huge rock of adamant running through the midst of it, and dividing it into two equal parts. The clouds still rested on one half of it, insomuch that I could discover nothing in it; but the other appeared to me a vast ocean planted with innumerable islands that were covered with fruits and flowers, and interwoven with a thousand little shining seas that ran among them. I could see persons dressed in glorious habits, with garlands upon their heads, passing among the trees, lying down by the sides of fountains, or resting on beds of flowers, and could hear a confused harmony of singing birds, falling waters, human voices, and musical instruments. Gladness grew in me upon the discovery of so delightful a scene. I wished for the wings of an eagle that I might fly away to those happy seats, but the genius told me there was no passage to them except through the Gates of Death that I saw opening every moment upon the bridge. islands,' said he, that lie so fresh and green before thee, and with which the whole face of the ocean appears spotted as far as thou canst see, are more in number than the sands on the sea-shore; there are myriads of islands behind those which thou here discoverest, reaching farther than thine eye, or even thine imagination, can extend itself. These are the mansions of good men after death, who, according to the degree and kinds of virtue in which they excelled, are distributed among these several islands, which abound with pleasures of different kinds and degrees, suitable to the relishes and perfections of those who are settled in them. Every island is a paradise accommodated to its respective inhabitants. Are not these, O Mirza! habitations worth contending for? Does life appear miserable, that gives thee opportunities of earning such a reward? Is death to be feared, that will convey thee to so happy an existence? Think not man was made in vain, who has such an eternity reserved for him.' I gazed with inexpressible pleasure on these happy islands. At length, said I,'Show me now, I beseech thee, the secrets that lie hid under those dark clouds which cover the ocean on the other side of the rock of adamant.' The genius making me no answer, I turned about to address myself to him a second time, but I found that he had left me. I then turned again to the vision which I had been so long contemplating, but instead of the rolling tide, the arched bridge, and the happy islands, I saw noThe genius seeing me indulge myself on this melan-thing but the long hollow valley of Bagdat, with choly prospect, told me I had dwelt long enough upon it. Take thine eyes off the bridge,' said he,' and tell me if thou yet seest anything thou dost not comprehend.' Upon looking up, What mean,' said I, those great flights of birds that are perpetually hovering about the bridge, and settling upon it from time to time? I see vultures, harpies, ravens, cormorants, and, among many other feathered creatures, several little winged boys, that perch in great numbers upon the middle arches.' These,' said the genius, are Envy, Avarice, Superstition, Despair, Love, with the like cares and passions that infest Human Life.'

I passed some time in the contemplation of this wonderful structure, and the great variety of objects which it presented. My heart was filled with a deep melancholy to see several dropping unexpectedly in the midst of mirth and jollity, and catching at everything that stood by them to save themselves. Some were looking up towards the heavens in a thoughtful posture, and, in the midst of a speculation, stumbled, and fell out of sight. Multitudes were very busy in the pursuit of bubbles that glittered in their eyes and danced before them; but often when they thought themselves within the reach of them, their footing failed, and down they sank. In this confusion of objects, I observed some with scimitars in their hands, and others with urinals, who ran to and fro upon the bridge, thrusting several persons on trap-doors which did not seem to lie in their way, and which they might have escaped had they not been thus forced upon

them.

I here fetched a deep sigh. Alas,' said I, 'man was made in vain!-how is he given away to misery and mortality!-tortured in life, and swallowed up in death!' The genius being moved with compassion towards me, bade me quit so uncomfortable a prospect. Look no more,' said he, on man in the first stage of his existence, in his setting out for eternity, but cast thine eye on that thick mist into which the tide bears the several generations of mortals that fall into it.'

oxen, sheep, and camels, grazing upon the sides of it.

[Sir Roger De Coverley's Visit to Westminster Abbey.]

My friend Sir Roger de Coverley told me the other night that he had been reading my paper upon Westminster Abbey, in which,' says he, there are a great many ingenious fancies.' He told me, at the same time, that he observed I had promised another paper upon the tombs, and that he should be glad to go and see them with me, not having visited them since he had read history. I could not at first imagine how this came into the knight's head, till I recollected that he had been very busy all last summer upon Baker's Chronicle, which he has quoted several times in his disputes with Sir Andrew Freeport since his last coming to town. Accordingly, I promised to call upon him the next morning, that we might go together to the abbey.

I found the knight under the butler's hands, who always shaves him. He was no sooner dressed, than he called for a glass of the widow Truby's water,